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...that basically sums it up. If you live a happy and active life, things are bound to happen and you'll end up meeting people without really trying.
complete ****ing nonsense
My lifestyle is absolutely awesome - all I do is go to the best restaurants, bars, clubs, concerts, sports events, vacations. I do with the best people you could ask for - my friends are just amazing
Finding a woman interested in me is like trying to find bigfoot
I don't know, OP. Dudes without looks or money manage to attract women, because their intangible qualities draw women in. Do you have some trusted friends who will objectively evaluate how you come across to women? Maybe on paper you seen like "the whole package", but something is getting lost in translation and you haven't yet developed the self-awareness to know what it is.
My lifestyle is absolutely awesome - all I do is go to the best restaurants, bars, clubs, concerts, sports events, vacations. I do with the best people you could ask for - my friends are just amazing
Finding a woman interested in me is like trying to find bigfoot
I think most people think their friends are amazing, so when it comes to dating, it doesn't really matter what people inside your circle think of you, it matters what the people on the outside think.
You need to tone down your ego, be genuine, and actually approach women for conversation, to see if there's a connection that could lead to a date. And no, you're not going to be able to tell that by looking at a woman across a room. You aren't going to get a guarantee that it will work out before you even summon up the nerve to approach. For all your ego and bluster, you really are a scared boy underneath, no matter what you drive or what's in your bank account.
My lifestyle is absolutely awesome - all I do is go to the best restaurants, bars, clubs, concerts, sports events, vacations. I do with the best people you could ask for - my friends are just amazing
Look - I don't know how we can be any clearer. If you were truly as awesome as you think you are and as awesome as you think everyone else thinks you are, you wouldn't be this horrible at dating.
I haven't noticed any change at all personally and i'm now 26 years old. I've gone from pretty good looking to very good looking as I've gotten older, I've gotten more and more fit, more and more stylish, more and more mature and understanding/educated as a person. Financially, my income has doubled in the last 3 years all the way up to 170K living in a pretty cheap area. I see my high school friends here and there and nobody is the overall package that i am yet I'm the only one who is perma - single. I still find dating to be absolutely impossible beyond impossible. Finding a woman who is attracted to me is like trying to find bigfoot...and I always sense a ton of resistance whenever I try to make something happen.
At what point does it actually get easier?
It gets easier in that you don't care so much.
Seriously. Now, granted I've been married 16 years but if I were out on the market again I honestly would not care one way or the other. I would be conscious of what I was doing, which is something I was not at your age, but I would not take things to heart. I would actually want a woman that had her own life, was doing her own thing, and had an existence outside of me. I wouldn't be needy. I would not mind if she had children. I wouldn't care so much that she was friends with her exes.
All I would need is some companionship, occasional s_x, just someone to talk to. Might even try doing things right and in order, which means waiting until after marriage and actual monogamy. When you're in your twenties you think you know everything. You have a textbook understanding of relationships. Everyone else is jealous of your relationship and you're complaining, omitting major details about what you've done, and everyone is healing your wounds, appealing to your ego. You're a perfectionist, and you're self-righteous. Everything is a deal breaker. At my age everyone is human, everyone makes mistakes, and everyone is flawed. Everything is nuanced. You realize that everyone cheats, or is capable of doing so in the right situation, regardless of what they say or think that they would do. Everyone fails. Everyone experiments; you don't put anything above anyone. If anything everyone has been cheated on.
It gets easier when you live your own life and you're not even looking for anyone. Like, you can go for several years without any serious relationships, and its okay, and not because you've had friend with benefits or various other situations with anyone, you're just okay in your own skin, okay being alone. You're not going to waste that energy on being with someone, you're just going to live your life, enjoy life. Then when you meet that person it isn't work, you actually enjoy being with that other person.
Man, I'm broke and in a long term relationship with my wife. Making like, 23k, after taxes and everything else. If I were you, making 170k, I'd enjoy life. Women want to be around because of your money, let them. Don't be an idiot though, and know who you're dealing with. Don't over promise and under deliver. You'll find that a lot of your "friends" of the same sex that you think are down for you, are also around you because of your money. People are human, that is just the way that people are.
It isn't about the money. Find some down to earth girls that aren't impressed with what you're offering in that department, that will give you a hard time and call you out for your bs, whatever that is. Someone that is going to force you to earn their respect. That is the one you want to be with over the long term. Someone that may have known you before the money, if that is even an option, and would still be your friend if you were to lose the money. I wouldn't worry about the fast life, it is fleeting.
Being stylish, and all of that sh_t is only going to draw the wrong crowd. Do it for yourself; naturally, if you're making 170k, you are going to present yourself and carry yourself on a different level than your high school friends that aren't doing anything. It is natural, and only right. But do not allow it to define you. Don't get consumed by it. You'll be alright, but again I would be enjoying myself at your age not trying to get locked in, because you never know how that is going to play out once you are.
not true, I don't really care about just getting laid or even getting laid with a lot of different women. I would be perfectly happy if I had a high quality cute girlfriend to settle down with and have a family.
BTW with you here, I wanted to ask you. What does it mean if tons of gay men are very attracted to me but obviously women want nothing to do with me? I've had so many gay guys call me gorgeous, beautiful, hot, etc... and I'm not even remotely feminine looking - I have a masculine looking face (but well maintained), I'm 5'10 200, etc...
You are not interested in a hookup. Though, it doesn't invalidate what said about straight versus gay guys. I'll show that below.
Gay men aren't often looking for feminine looking men. To the contrary, gay men place high value on masculinity, the traditional stereotypes. This is why a lot of gay men fall for straight men. Having "straight" qualities would make you outstanding immediately. So I'm not surprised that gay men find you gorgeous and hot.
But, see here is the difference between men and women. When I look at a a man, especially when I was younger, the looks and feel are the most important. Men are visual. I don't look at his vehicle and career. I also don't look at whether he gives me a sense of safety, if he is humorous, if he would be a loving provider, or if he is good with kids. Yup. Much like those gay guys around you, I would look at your muscles, your neck, your package, and go from there.
Now, if I'm looking for a partner, I would want to get to know your personality. But I don't automatically place myself as secondary and expect you to make more money.
I guess women like a man who can give them safety and make them laugh and loved. A man who can make things happen and win the sky, and yet can be delicate and detailed and gentle when he should be. He is aggressive outside and gentle at home, assertive in bed and caring in life. Women like guys who they can picture living together, surrendering without worries, that you are mature and understanding, you can be count on, you look like the man in the house, a future father, she can picture you doing that with her. In addition to being sexy and financially good, you are that home type, giving her your salaries, hugging her around her waist, having no disgusting habits. As gay man, I think women are looking for so much. It really is a long list. women seem programmed to rely on men so much.
It takes more for a woman to initiate or accept a potential date, because they have so many worries. For a gay man, I would go out with a hot guy and see where things go. I don't need to be worked on with flowers and sweet words and shiny vehicles. You are a guy, so you understand guys. Often, on a first date, if both of us like each other, we would inevitably move our heads together and kiss. It takes less.
Here is the most visual difference between gay and straight relationships.
When you propose to your future wife, you will have one leg on your knee.
If I propose to a guy, we would both be standing.
Last edited by Costaexpress; 07-26-2015 at 10:36 AM..
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