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If you don't want to go over the mans house than just let him know.
Your original post makes the guy sound like a complete pig.
How dare him ask me to come over to his house.
How dare him think of me as worthy enough to be invited to his personal home to sit on his couch and eat his food that
was earned with his hard work. How dare him single me out when he could have asked ANY OTHER woman to come over.
How dare him.
I am such a victim.
He is such a nasty person.
Shame on him.
As I said in this other post...either you are not that into him....or you are just comparing this guy to some idiot that hurt you in a previous experience.
Of course I've been hurt. Everyone has by a certain age. We need to learn from our mistakes. I don't know what kind of a person he is, that is the problem. I can learn that in a public place. You're right, I like that he is interested in me, I do like him from what I know, but I don't know what he is interested in from me or how much. Too soon to tell so too soon to go to his house.
Of course I've been hurt. Everyone has by a certain age. We need to learn from our mistakes. I don't know what kind of a person he is, that is the problem. I can learn that in a public place. You're right, I like that he is interested in me, I do like him from what I know, but I don't know what he is interested in from me or how much. Too soon to tell so too soon to go to his house.
Your assumptions are making this a much bigger more complicated issue than it needs to be.
Either tell him you are not comfortable going to his home yet and suggest something else or quit wasting time.
This choice should not be so difficult for an adult woman who states she has experienced life.
Just for the record the fact that you have been hurt should not have anything to do with this man unless he is the one who hurt you in the past. Everyone you meet, interact with, date, have sex with or marry has the potential to hurt you and you them. Why live your life in constant fear of being hurt? Life is about anything and everything and you can choose to live in fear or you can choose to experience it all.
The good, bad, ugly and indifferent and if you choose not to experience it all then quit dating, stay home and quit wasting everyone's time who is involved.
Well...I personally would be very appreciative if a woman was completely 100% upfront with me.
The conversation is as easy as....
Hey John,
"I really appreciate you taking the time to invite me over to your place. Thank you. I am really interested in getting to know you better. However, I just don't feel comfortable taking that step right now. Nothing against you. Just would like to go on a few more dates before hanging out at each others home. Please let me know if this makes sense. "
Your assumptions are making this a much bigger more complicated issue than it needs to be.
Either tell him you are not comfortable going to his home yet and suggest something else or quit wasting time.
This choice should not be so difficult for an adult woman who states she has experienced life.
Just for the record the fact that you have been hurt should not have anything to do with this man unless he is the one who hurt you in the past. Everyone you meet, interact with, date, have sex with or marry has the potential to hurt you and you them. Why live your life in constant fear of being hurt? Life is about anything and everything and you can choose to live in fear or you can choose to experience it all.
The good, bad, ugly and indifferent and if you choose not to experience it all then quit dating, stay home and quite wasting everyone's time who is involved.
I did already tell him I'm not comfortable , see previous posts. We communicated
You know, as someone who has sent these kinds of texts, although a little after the 2nd date... when I said "let's watch a movie," I actually did mean watch a movie. It was not code for sex.
Now would I take sex if it was available? Yes. But it wasn't something I would push for. If her body language said "don't get too close" I wouldn't. If she wanted to snuggle up to me and one thing led to another, I was fine with that too.
Of course I've been hurt. Everyone has by a certain age. We need to learn from our mistakes. I don't know what kind of a person he is, that is the problem. I can learn that in a public place. You're right, I like that he is interested in me, I do like him from what I know, but I don't know what he is interested in from me or how much. Too soon to tell so too soon to go to his house.
I just think you portrayed this guy to be a creep who obviously doesn't respect you in your OP and it rubbed some of the guys here the wrong way. It sounds like you're either jumping to conclusions, paranoid about how he views you, subconsciously holding him accountable for some other who wronged you, or you're not that into him and you're using this as an excuse.
I don't think you're a bad person or even technically wrong, just maybe a little disingenuous.
LWS, if you are in the dating scene, get ready. It seems like that's the new dating option of many men these day, "Can I come over. We will watch a movie or something."
lol
or "come on over, bring a 12 pack and a pizza, and well watch war movies...oh, can you stop and grab me a box of condoms...ribbed...extra large puh-leeze!!!"
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