Boyfriend told me I'm the worst person he's ever met in an argument. (alcohol, feeling)
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Unbelievable that most people here say 'walk away from this guy'. Anyone who's ever been in a long term relationship is aware that
1. couples argue
2. individuals can say hurtful things during said arguments because they are pissed, not because they hate the other person. That's where apologies and forgiveness come into the picture.
Best conclusion to be drawn here is that CD forum may not be the best place to get relationship advice.
Where should the line be drawn then? How do you know what is OK to tolerate and what isn't?
OP, why don't you say what the argument was about, or what led to his comment? For all we know, it could have been uncalled for, or it could have been totally justified. We have no way of knowing if you don't tell the whole story.
I was being moody because I couldn't get over other things he's said to me in the past. Things like, "you make me so mad, I want to kill you." DURING an argument as well. And then one time I told him I really wanted to just die, and he said this (despite knowing I'm a spiritual individual): "hah, you think you're gonna die and easily go to heaven? Look at all your bad deeds before wishing for death." - this hurt me a lot because I take religion very seriously, and I would never comment on someone else's good deeds or sins especially if they were already feeling suicidal.
Maybe I wouldn't be so hurt at his comment if this was the first time he said something hurtful. His issue with me is that I'm passive-agressive often (which I AM after he says things to me like this)
When I'm mad at him though, I think the worst thing I said to him was that he's an idiot (because he lied to me about something I was extremely upset over) - I've never said things that I KNOW would make him hurt or cringe. I usually just shut-down when I'm mad - which I guess bothers him as he is 'very expressive.'
Sooo no one is going to ask sweetie pie what she said/did to make her boyfriend lash out? We're just going to decide he's a jerk and she should leave him? Yeah, okay.
You haven't been here long enough.
The standard CD-Rel response to most relationship problems is "Dump him/her."
So if he feels that way, why is he still with you? Can he explain that to you? Or does he just make excuses for losing his temper?
Even if he doesn't actually believe you're "the worst" his true opinion can't be much different or he'd not have said it at all.
When he was done being angry, he said that 'obviously he doesn't think I'm the worst person ever, otherwise why would he be with me.' and so I believed that - which does make sense to a certain degree. But seriously, is it fair for people to say SUCH mean things out of anger that have the power to resonate in someone else's mind forever?
I was being moody because I couldn't get over other things he's said to me in the past. Things like, "you make me so mad, I want to kill you." DURING an argument as well. And then one time I told him I really wanted to just die, and he said this (despite knowing I'm a spiritual individual): "hah, you think you're gonna die and easily go to heaven? Look at all your bad deeds before wishing for death." - this hurt me a lot because I take religion very seriously, and I would never comment on someone else's good deeds or sins especially if they were already feeling suicidal.
Maybe I wouldn't be so hurt at his comment if this was the first time he said something hurtful. His issue with me is that I'm passive-agressive often (which I AM after he says things to me like this)
When I'm mad at him though, I think the worst thing I said to him was that he's an idiot (because he lied to me about something I was extremely upset over) - I've never said things that I KNOW would make him hurt or cringe. I usually just shut-down when I'm mad - which I guess bothers him as he is 'very expressive.'
I was being moody because I couldn't get over other things he's said to me in the past. Things like, "you make me so mad, I want to kill you." DURING an argument as well. And then one time I told him I really wanted to just die, and he said this (despite knowing I'm a spiritual individual): "hah, you think you're gonna die and easily go to heaven? Look at all your bad deeds before wishing for death." - this hurt me a lot because I take religion very seriously, and I would never comment on someone else's good deeds or sins especially if they were already feeling suicidal.
Maybe I wouldn't be so hurt at his comment if this was the first time he said something hurtful. His issue with me is that I'm passive-agressive often (which I AM after he says things to me like this)
When I'm mad at him though, I think the worst thing I said to him was that he's an idiot (because he lied to me about something I was extremely upset over) - I've never said things that I KNOW would make him hurt or cringe. I usually just shut-down when I'm mad - which I guess bothers him as he is 'very expressive.'
You both need couples counseling if you want your relationship to last ... in particular, you both need to learn how to "fight" fairly. Arguing can actually improve your relationship as long as you know how to do it correctly/fairly.
You haven't been here long enough.
The standard CD-Rel response to most relationship problems is "Dump him/her."
So this ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timer10
I was being moody because I couldn't get over other things he's said to me in the past. Things like, "you make me so mad, I want to kill you." DURING an argument as well. And then one time I told him I really wanted to just die, and he said this (despite knowing I'm a spiritual individual): "hah, you think you're gonna die and easily go to heaven? Look at all your bad deeds before wishing for death." - this hurt me a lot because I take religion very seriously, and I would never comment on someone else's good deeds or sins especially if they were already feeling suicidal.
Maybe I wouldn't be so hurt at his comment if this was the first time he said something hurtful. His issue with me is that I'm passive-agressive often (which I AM after he says things to me like this)
When I'm mad at him though, I think the worst thing I said to him was that he's an idiot (because he lied to me about something I was extremely upset over) - I've never said things that I KNOW would make him hurt or cringe. I usually just shut-down when I'm mad - which I guess bothers him as he is 'very expressive.'
...sounds like two people who just need to "work through" their disagreements??
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