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Nagging? Where have I been nagging? I haven't even MENTIONED marriage in six months.
I agree. But if the guy doesn't want to get married - then he might see it as nagging simply because you are bringing up something that he doesn't want to do.
OP you sound completely reasonable, but let me just ask you, if you were to answer for your BF, what is the worst part about your relationship?
Hm, we fight once in a while like every couple, and he says we're both pretty stubborn which sometimes complicates the communication after a fight. I wouldn't say it's a big deal andhe has also never told me it is.
To be honest, it sounds like he either just doesn't want to get married in general or he doesn't want to marry you specifically. I was with my ex for 3 years and I wanted to get married - he kept dragging his feet. We finally got engaged but the whole time I felt like he was so scared that I could barely talk to him about the wedding. With my husband, he wanted to marry me. He brought up wanting to marry me all the time - it wasn't just me. He proposed after 2 years and I never needed to pressure him because he wanted the same thing that I wanted.
Same.
I was with my ex for five years, and while we talked marriage (always with him bringing it up, I never did, even though I was in favor of it...didn't want to be the "pressuring girl") it was apparent that it wasn't something he was sold on. It would have been disastrous, anyway.
My husband wanted to marry me, and was very verbally clear about that, pretty early on. We got married a little over a year after we met. When guys know, they know. They don't waffle.
But I've never, ever been the one to bring up or press for marriage.
The way I see it; you for all practical purposes already proposed to him, and he turned you down. So, move on. He's not that into you, or he has commitment issues. Either way, you don't need that in your life. It's over, OP. You can do better than this guy.
Nagging? Where have I been nagging? I haven't even MENTIONED marriage in six months.
But you've mentioned it multiple times... it's nagging whether or not you see it that way. If he's going to marry you, it's going to be on his time frame, not yours. If you aren't down with that, leave...
I agree. But if the guy doesn't want to get married - then he might see it as nagging simply because you are bringing up something that he doesn't want to do.
Agreed.
Mentioning something, even once, that the other person isn't comfortable with having brought up can constitute "nagging" in the other person's mind.
But you've mentioned it multiple times... it's nagging whether or not you see it that way. If he's going to marry you, it's going to be on his time frame, not yours. If you aren't down with that, leave...
Noting, at various points in time throughout the course of a three-year long relationship, that marriage is something you ultimately want for yourself and your future, isn't nagging. It's communicating what you want in life. It's only "nagging" when the other person doesn't.
And if the other person doesn't want what you want, why stay together? There's no point in staying in a relationship where there is no hope of an outcome that is satisfactory to both parties.
I agree. But if the guy doesn't want to get married - then he might see it as nagging simply because you are bringing up something that he doesn't want to do.
Yeah, that's the kind of thing that some guys like to do to be dismissive--bring up anything they don't want to talk about, and it's nagging. Total red flag.
But you've mentioned it multiple times... it's nagging whether or not you see it that way. If he's going to marry you, it's going to be on his time frame, not yours. If you aren't down with that, leave...
I don't think that everyone would see this as nagging. I think that someone that doesn't want to get married but just hasn't had the guts to flat out say this might see it as nagging - but it's really not nagging. They've been together for 3 years - not 3 weeks. How long of a time frame does he need? Most guys know pretty quickly. The only couples that I know that were together for years and years before getting married were couples where neither one of them really cared about getting married - or they were really young when they started dating.
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