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You have to do what you can live with. Personally, if my husband cheated on me and it was a one time fling that he regretted - I wouldn't want to know. Because if he did tell me, I'm not sure I could get past it. And I love him and I love my family. I wouldn't to lose everything because of one stupid mistake If he was cheating on me repeatedly - I would want to know so that I could end things.
You have to do what you can live with. Personally, if my husband cheated on me and it was a one time fling that he regretted - I wouldn't want to know. Because if he did tell me, I'm not sure I could get past it. And I love him and I love my family. I wouldn't to lose everything because of one stupid mistake If he was cheating on me repeatedly - I would want to know so that I could end things.
Same here. I wouldn't want to know unless it was a pattern.
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Just one more thing - since the OP has given us very little info and hasn't been back - my views on this changed after we had children. If we didn't have children - I'd want to know no matter what. Now that we have children - our family comes first.
Just one more thing - since the OP has given us very little info and hasn't been back - my views on this changed after we had children. If we didn't have children - I'd want to know no matter what. Now that we have children - our family comes first.
This times a million. Well the children part at least.
Not to mention, if there are no consequences for infidelity, in pretty much every case the cheater ends up in multiple affairs over time.
I would think that people with any conscience do indeed have "repercussions" to deal with.
I often feel, when threads like this get started, that everyone gets all "the way I'd want this handled is the ONLY way."
That is just not true.
What I do think couples need to know is if either of them WANTS to know about these things.
Some of us would rather not know unless it became a regular habit. A one-time fling is something we'd rather be protected from. There are probably people who never wanna know even IF it's a regular thing.
Others want to be told. Some people want to be told everything. Did you flirt once with a coworker? Tell it. Did your ex contact you the other day just to chat? Must know!
I always assume that people who are obsessed with knowing each and every thing have probably been burned in the past and just never got past it.
But, maybe some of them are just worried it might happen and fear being "in the dark."
I dunno. Only time I was ever cheated on (to my knowledge) was by my first serious BF.
I found out from a third party. I broke up with him. But, in hindsight, I'd rather not have known.
He and I made up before he died (he died very young in an accident). I'm glad we did.
I do not hold grudges and I'm not paranoid.
It would suck to be so jaded.
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When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
You have to do what you can live with. Personally, if my husband cheated on me and it was a one time fling that he regretted - I wouldn't want to know. Because if he did tell me, I'm not sure I could get past it. And I love him and I love my family. I wouldn't to lose everything because of one stupid mistake If he was cheating on me repeatedly - I would want to know so that I could end things.
IME, it's usually never a fling. Almost all affairs are well thought out, calculated and meticulously planned so one is not to be caught. Which brings me to this whole notion of "mistake", Lol. It's not a mistake, it's just a selfish act- plain and simple; people just use that lame word/excuse to make themselves feel better. " we're all humans and make mistakes" ? No we're all humans who do selfish things-- is more of the truth.
Also, doing it once (fling) or 10 times doesn't change the fact that person didn't love and respect their partner/kids/family to refrain from banging some dirtylegger .
IME, it's usually never a fling. Almost all affairs are well thought out, calculated and meticulously planned so one is not to be caught. Which brings me to this whole notion of "mistake", Lol. It's not a mistake, it's just a selfish act- plain and simple; people just use that lame word/excuse to make themselves feel better. " we're all humans and make mistakes" ? No we're all humans who do selfish things-- is more of the truth.
Also, doing it once (fling) or 10 times doesn't change the fact that person didn't love and respect their partner/kids/family to refrain from banging some dirtylegger .
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