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Hi, has anyone every had this happen. I lived in an old wreck, I mean an old dump. I had a good friend who would come and we were pretty close friends. Well after 12 years in the old wreck of a home, we upgraded because the market got better and sold our wreck when the market was booming. Thus fast foward to now, I am in a great little home, not an old wreck. To be honest its pretty nice, so I decorated it with nice furniture. NOw this friend is like really nasty to me. We had it out today, I said to her, you have no intentions to come over now. Ever since I bought this house you have avoided me. What up? She could not say anything. Its like when my life sucked she was there, and now its not too crappy and shes gone.
She could be jealous, there are some friends who claim to be your friend but would like to see you living beneath them. If she's going to be that way, I suggest you cut all ties with her as she appears to be a "friend" who does not have your best intentions at heart. However, be prepared to hear stories of her telling everyone that you've changed now that you've upgraded. You don't need that kind of friendship anyway.
It's good that you said that to her because she was probably not doing it consciously. Maybe she will give it some thought and the relationship will mend.
I have a relative like that and it is sad, I think, because it must be out of insecurity that they behave this way. When my friends and relatives do well, I am thrilled for them. It's not a contest.
Thanks its not a matter of stuff, believe me, I lived in poor conditions for a long time. We busted our butts, it just bothers me that now I am a little happy she is nowhere to be found. She loved helping and chatting when my life was really bad. Now that I have no problems its like I have no time. Maybe I should make uo something.
I said this to her, I said now that I have something decent your nowhere to be found. I never thought you were an envious person. I see things a little different. Maybe I should not have told her how nice my home is, maybe she thougt I was bragging. But she damn well knew the dump I lived in, so I thought she would be happy. It seems I confronted her with something she does not have. Sad, I read her wrong. You know friends are very difficult. Maybe its me, maybe I should have not told her too many details about the house. Funny you could say something and not mean it one way, but someone will read or hear it different. I am not saying I am sorry for telling her off. I think she needed to hear it. Thanks and moving on!!!!
I hate the word jealous, I dont want anyone to be jealous of me, I find that emotion really non existent. I always looked at beautiful women or things and said to myself, boy I wish I had her hair or her body but never jealous. I was happy for people when they did well. I felt confident but not jealous. I think that is such a stange emotion. I wish I could find some real friends. It seems my husband, and family are only true friends. Ok move on Marilyn
Maybe before she had your full attention while she was there. Now your new house gets your full attention and she feels left out. Don't rag on her. Be nice about it but do try to sit down and talk about it. Let her know you care.
I'm a little unclear - has she been to the new house? Were you closer geographically before?
It definitely is possible that she felt she could relate to you when you had problems; or that she is intimidated or jealous by your new house and, maybe, new life?
How did she respond when you had it out with her? It would have been a nice opportunity for her to get things off her chest, whatever they might be.
I've noticed often times people get mad when success comes to someone, they are jealous or filled with envy, or angry you got it and they did not. Also worried you will dump them or think you're too good for them and not have time to be their friend any more.
I had a friend who said she avoided me until I "got poor" and then she was willing to be my friend. Otherwise she felt like she was "inferior" and "not good enough" around money and a big house, she said she felt like people were inside their head critical of her and judging her.
You're right though, I have seen it happen, and it is hurtful, because what you want is your friends to be happy for your good fortune and success, be happy for you. Instead of selfish about it. Sort of get to see a side of the person not known before, which is not pleasant in this case.
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