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More because this was a serious life-changing event. This was something done to HER body, and it messes with many who go through it.
Also. she may not have been 100% on board about the abortion. You used the word "convinced". Did you talk her into it?
OP, it IS her choice to talk about it with friends.
Do you want it kept a secret from your family?
She was 100%, I was ok with keeping it. I understand it was and is her choice, we just had some pretty clear discussion on keeping it to ourselves that were driven primarily by her. I guess it is the whole not keeping her word that has me concerned more so than the actual act of telling. Make sense? The secret keeping was driven by her, she was embarassed and didn't want anyone to know. I am older and take criticism pretty well so I have no problem with my family knowing. Now that this friend knows, she can plaster it all over social media and then it would make us look bad in my eyes.
She was 100%, I was ok with keeping it. I understand it was and is her choice, we just had some pretty clear discussion on keeping it to ourselves that were driven primarily by her. I guess it is the whole not keeping her word that has me concerned more so than the actual act of telling. Make sense?
So you feel a bit betrayed because she went back on the agreement you had.
I think that is the main thing I am struggling with, yes.
So that horse has left the barn.
I am not a fan of the "I was drunk!" excuse, but what are you gonna do?
If this "friend" she told is the type who would say something on social media, then you don't really want her around anyway, right? At your age, I would be more upset about the GF blowing the agreement than I would about the potential gossip.
An abortion is usually a pretty big deal for a woman. There are a few who view it as a relief and then just go on with their lives, but most women struggle with the decision for a while. Your GF may be unpredictable in the next weeks/months.
Better talk about it with her and decide what is most important. Trust should be high on the list, but her emotional state, including maturity, needs to be evaluated and addressed.
How is communication between the two of you, generally? You say that you discussed not mentioning the abortion to anyone, but does she feel like she can talk about it with you if she's not supposed to talk about it with friends and family?
We have discussed the event ad nauseum since it happened and are very open.
You are questioning her trust and her word. Rightfully so
under normal circumstances I would agree.
However, an abortion is a MAJOR EVENT. MAJOR. EVENT.
Some women get depressed over it or even suicidal. Some don't giv a crap. But usually it is not just something you do real quick and move on with your life. It just recently happened. You don't know how she feels - maybe every pregnant woman or baby she sees is triggering something in her. Not being able to talk about it can damage her soul.
I think OP should not be too mad about the broken agreement in THIS SPECIAL case.
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