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Why would a man behave/ treat me differently than they treated the woman in another relationship?
For instance, current boyfriend helped pay bills, cooked and helped around house while in his last relationship. He does none of the sort with me.
My ex husband treated me like crap, never came home, never answered my calls and refused to even share a room. His new girlfriend experienced an entirely different man. Sure I would have stayed with the version she dated also.
My most recent ex controlled my every move. His new fiancee he does not.
I just stated these three examples, but I have had many go on to be better men in their next relationships, after running me through the ringer. What is the deal?
Well how do I stop allowing myself to be a doormat?
Learning how to set boundaries is a good start. If this is happening as often as you say it is, it might be a very good investment to find a therapist to help you in this.
We are a product of that environment. Perhaps your ex-husband learned from your relationship and took those lessons with the new relationship.
But also don't forget that you influence that environment. The biggest way to do this in the context of a relationship is to make sure you communicate properly with each other. You both need to be able to discuss hot button or sensitive issues in a constructive manner.
If you let him get away of not doing housework, he might be assuming that that is acceptable to you (ie doormat).
If you get passive aggressive or nag him, he will focus on being defensive and the nagging rather than the underlying issue (not doing housework).
If you talk to him in a constructive manner in which the focus is that you need help with housework, he will be more receptive assuming there are no other issues preventing so.
Acknowledge, try to understand first... then seek to be understood.
We are a product of that environment. Perhaps your ex-husband learned from your relationship and took those lessons with the new relationship.
But also don't forget that you influence that environment. The biggest way to do this in the context of a relationship is to make sure you communicate properly with each other. You both need to be able to discuss hot button or sensitive issues in a constructive manner.
With the most recent, he still talks to me like crap. Well unless the new woman is near him, then he is as sweet as pie, while I am looking at him wondering who the heck he is.
With the most recent, he still talks to me like crap. Well unless the new woman is near him, then he is as sweet as pie, while I am looking at him wondering who the heck he is.
Tell him "don't talk to me like that" and if he continues, just walk off. Why interact with him at all??? Move on and forget he exists ...
With the most recent, he still talks to me like crap. Well unless the new woman is near him, then he is as sweet as pie, while I am looking at him wondering who the heck he is.
If your exhusband talks to you like crap, why do you care? Distance yourself. He's probably reaction to history. If necessary, tell him that you don't accept that type of treatment.
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