Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Sorry, I usually don't stand up for women but I did not like the way you handled it. Since some of my posts have been removed from using the word alpha(So freaking weird). I think one of the characteristics of an a-man is to keep it cool regardless of what happens.
Me: I think at this point its best that I just move on, because we don't really seem to be on the same page from the start.
This line was absolutely unnecessary, very rude and if anything, you totally turned her off. If you were trying to prove a point, you didnt.
Me: Lets meet up soon so we can find out for sure if we are, or not. How's your schedule the next few days?
Her: How old are you? Busy schedule this weekend.
Me: I'm 34, How about you
Her: 33. Tell me more about yourself. What do you like to do for fun? What's your living situation?
Me: I live on my own in ________. Lets discuss this more in person rather than by text. Are you around after work next week to meet up? Nothing too long, just for an hour maybe? How about a round of mini golf at __________.
Her: Let me get back to you. My schedule is all up in the air with school starting (she is a school teacher). And I would like to get to know you before meeting you. I found the whole experience with speed dating weird, so I am leery.
Me: Ok……..well the reason to meet in the first place is to get to know you.
Her: Maybe Starbucks??
Me: I think at this point its best that I just move on, because we don't really seem to be on the same page from the start.
Her: Sorry. Things are busy with school starting.
(At this point, I didn't respond to her anymore and just walked away)
I hate to come across as condescending, rude, or disrespectful, but I just can NOT waste my time with someone who beats around the bush like this.
From the jump, I took the control of the situation (as any guy should do) and proposed a first date, that was low pressure, easy going, and in a very safe and public place, and she kept giving me reasons why she didn't want to.
I'm just perplexed as to WHY someone would waste $30 and 2 hours of their time, and then make lame statements that they want to get to know someone before meeting up…….
That whole premise is faulty as meeting up is how you get to know somebody, isn't it!!
Oh well, I have no regrets walking away as I did, and wouldn't hesitate to again, its just that I hate people (not just women, guys too) who waste not just my time, but their own time.
while you came across ok, i think you dismissed her a little soon. she said she was having a hectic schedule due to school starting up. perhaps you should have said something to the effect of, ok i am interested in getting to know you better, how about you pick a time when you are ready, and can spend some time together, and get back to me.
that way if she never gets back to you, its on her.
Once she said that, I would have said, "Ok. Have a nice day."
Dunno why you bothered with the rest of the conversation.
Ego for most people. Who wants to told they're not a good fit, before even given a good try at proving them wrong? I don't think the OP handled the situation right at all, but many people would like to convince someone that they're different than perceived.
Ego for most people. Who wants to told they're not a good fit, before even given a good try at proving them wrong? I don't think the OP handled the situation right at all, but many people would like to convince someone that they're different than perceived.
But like the threads about "pursuing women" Some don't waste the time to try getting someone to want them. They get a turn down, then they move on. Rarely do too many "chase" and try to persuade anymore it seems.
[quote=papafox;40898608]I was at a speed dating event a few nights ago, so last night I called to leave a message with one of the ladies that I matched with.
This morning she texted me and here is how the exchange went down:
If this had happened to me my next response would have been:
Me: Oh, ok. Well have a nice day and best of luck to you!
Once again, unless I get an indication that they are interested I always assume they aren't interested and go on my merry way. A lot of guys make this more difficult than it needs to be, unless of course you buy into that chasing crap. In that case, knock yourself out!
Patience is a virtue;You showed lack of it throughout the text without taking into account her part of the story (being busy)
Next time;good luck with your tactics
Patience is a virtue;You showed lack of it throughout the text without taking into account her part of the story (being busy)
Next time;good luck with your tactics
I agree. About 5 years ago, I was like the OP. I used to have these outbursts of frustration with my ex-girlfriend thinking that I was doing something good or proving a point.
Now that I am wiser and more mature, I realize that being able to control your emotions and "keeping it cool" is definitely a sign of maturity.
I will say that this is THE most stressful time for school teachers. Getting ready for the school year is brutal and she is probably at school all weekend until late evening. It's similar to tax season for accountants.
I think you handled it fine OP, but her weirdness right now might be related to normal beginning of the year stress.
And exactly why she shouldn't have even bothered with speed dating at this time.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
