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hi,i am a navy girlfriend. although my boyfriend hasnt left yet. he will be going to charleston for almost two years to study to be a nuclear tech. sadly, i am not able to move with him, i am twenty and he is as well, we are very much in love and have decided to stay together throughout this journey. i cannot go because i have plans of my own in which neither of us want to put on hold, by plans i mean college and my personal career. although i am not going he has told me that he will be stationed in california when not on ship so i will most likely move out there when i get through school. we want to stay together and be together in the long run, i guess my question is how hard is it to keep in touch? i no we wont be able to communicate when he is in boot camp but what about the rest? i dont know anyone in my situation and it would be great to be informed about it. I would appreciate all honesty :-)
The documentary CARRIER about the Nimitz showed that the people on board had access to regular email and to some extent phone calls to their loved ones back home. It's a good DVD by the way -- pretty close to real life on the ship.
Find some discussion forums about Navy life. You will need support.
A real good buddy of mine went through the same situation. He had been dating this girl for nearly two years when he enlisted. (We were going to enlist in the air force together, but I got shot down.. heart problems at the time. He ended up going into the navy, as a nuclear tech, must be the popular thing to do..)
Well, their relationship lasted for another two years while he was in the navy, but it wasn't a very good two years. He had changed dramatically during that time, and she grew up a bit as well. You probably already know the outcome - they got married, that lasted for six months, and then it was quickly annulled.
My cousin had a similar experience. Got married before she went to basic.. When she came back she ended up getting pregnant, so they did some funky thing where she worked in an office setting until the kid was born. Well, a couple months before the kid was born, he divorced her and that was that.
I know those are negative stories, but I wanted to tell them to ya so you would take some time and think things through. If this is something that is serious, and you two plan on getting married, then you need to do all the research you can on things. He's going to change, and so are you. It's called growing older and gaining life experience. Communication really isn't a problem, so I wouldn't worry so much about that. Just be ready for the unknowns that come your way. Make a commitment to one another, and follow it through. Just be sure that you're ready for all of this. Rita had some great advice there, so I'd certainly follow what she said.
And as an aside, kudos to both of you for what you're doing. I wish more people were like that..
I too was a Navy girlfriend a moon or few ago. The one thing I did was to make sure he got something in the mail from me everyday - even if it was only a card- while he went through basic training. This was back in the day of simple pen and paper, but not one day did he go without something to show my support and put him at ease while we were apart. He did appreciate it, because it made all his buddies jealous, and I honestly believe it made a huge difference in keeping us together for as long as it did. I never wanted him to worry I was off with someone else I wanted as little tension for both of us long distance.
He came home for Christmas and we got engaged. His parents were super people and I would often go over for Sunday dinner even when he wasn't around. One night I looked down and realized the diamond was missing from the setting. We vacumed every inch of that house and couldn't find it anywhere so I took it to the jewlers and they replaced it on their dime.
Now for the good news. (She says with a spark of sarcasm). We were both from the midwest and he too ended up getting stationed in California and I started College here while my parents divorced. I don't think he was happy about the fact I didn't just pick up and move (with no money) to be with him. Staying here I was ensured I would be able to go to school. At some point things got extremely odd and then I couldn't get a hold of him at all even tho I left messages. I don't know how long he would have avoided it unless his mother demanded he tell me and he called the house while I was there for dinner and I stretched the old cord into the bathroom and shut the door.
You could sense the tension with everyone in the room (there were 6 brothers) because it was as if everyone just froze in place and you could hear a pin drop until you heard me -probably all the way around the block "YOU DID WHAT?!!" Yes, folks he got married to someone in California while we were still engaged and never told me. Wheeee ain't love grand. So, so much for writing every day in support of his decisions. I can only say looking back - he did me a favor, albeit a very painful one, it was good in the grand scheme of things. We had been together for seven years by then.
So do with that info what you will.
P.S. I never did end up ever putting that ring back on between the time I lost it and he told me so maybe it was a sign. It went toward my my school tuition.
As a side note my cousin went into the Navy and was stationed in a nuclear bunker and he and his girlfriend got married and I still don't see any signs of them ever breaking apart so it depends on the person
Last edited by Thursday007; 09-18-2009 at 02:02 AM..
being in the military myself Ill tell u its hard most of the time it doesnt work out. The couples always say the same thing "u dont know us we really love each other". The thing is ur both young (Im 27) and r going to go through different experiences.My advice go to school and see what happens u might meet someone new(he probably will not to be mean) but dont expect to much cuz in the end it probably wont work out Ive been in 10 yrs and i see it all the time I try to tell the new guys but sometimes u have to go through it and thats the only way ut learn
Oh, hell, it helps to have a strong sense of humor about these things, That's my motto, 'Why Not! Why the Hell NOT!" and like I said - it ended up being for the best.
Last edited by Thursday007; 09-18-2009 at 03:08 AM..
You are both only 20 and have a lot of challenges before you.
If your love is true, it will survive, if not it won't. That is the way life is.
The fact that you want to persue your own dream rather than follow him, is probably the hint you need to pay attention to in your heart, but don't tell him.
By all means, go forward into your future and see what happens.
Oh, hell, it helps to have a strong sense of humor about these things, That's my motto, 'Why Not! Why the Hell NOT!" and like I said - it ended up being for the best.
I can't help but ask... that must have been awkward being that you seemed close to his parents/family... what did they do??
I can't help but ask... that must have been awkward being that you seemed close to his parents/family... what did they do??
They weren't happy with him one bit. They never really saw him again for reasons unrelated that I won't go into here and this was years ago, but they still welcomed me to their home dinners and holidays- they were good people. His father passed away I went to his funeral and he didn't and I still stop by and see his mom for a visit. She doesn't live far from me.
Karma does have a way of evening things out. After his divorce from his second wife -she won millions in the state lottery. hahaha
(Now back to our regularly scheduled programming)
Last edited by Thursday007; 09-18-2009 at 04:20 AM..
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