Guy getting dressed immediately after sex (internet, looking, relation, reasons)
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Actually happened to a friend of mine... he had a girl over at his house- an admitted one-night stand. They had their fun, he asked her if she wanted to spend the night and she said okay. He dozed off, woke up at like six in the morning and she was gone. No note, no nothing. He saw her a couple weeks later in the same bar that they met in and she didn't even acknowledge him.
Actually happened to a friend of mine... he had a girl over at his house- an admitted one-night stand. They had their fun, he asked her if she wanted to spend the night and she said okay. He dozed off, woke up at like six in the morning and she was gone. No note, no nothing. He saw her a couple weeks later in the same bar that they met in and she didn't even acknowledge him.
Maybe he snores like a bear. Not acknowledging him is mean, though.
That dude was being very rude. Sorry OP. Glad you cut your losses. I get the impression that he was just wanting another notch in his belt, and once he accomplished his goal, you were immediately expendable. An experienced woman can usually easily spot those kinds of guys well in advance (sometimes before the guy asks them out on a first date), but a few guys are good at masking their true intentions.
Hell...even a good guy who had a 24/7 on-call job would have better manners than that dude. If, immediately after sex, the on-call guy got contacted by his boss telling him that there's an emergency and that he needs to come in ASAP...he'd apologetically explain the situation to his partner. She may be disappointed (and may decide that he's not a good match b/c of that), but would likely also be understanding and not feel hurt.
I think most women do not know they have a kegel muscle, much less how to develop it.
I have discussed the problem with many men and women .
I first learned about it in our natural child birth classes.
However my wife was too prudish to do the exercises , our sex life dissolved.
Not saying that's your problem but it's one I'm familiar with. (only the one relationship)
What's your point? Apparently YOU were pretty late to the game if you didn't figure it out until child birth classes with your wife. Please instruct the OP in detail so she can keep her man....next time
I really don't know we can assume lack of Kegels was the cause of all this. Or if the OP's guy was nice he would have given her an instructional pamphlet on the first date?
I think most women do not know they have a kegel muscle, much less how to develop it.
I have discussed the problem with many men and women .
I first learned about it in our natural child birth classes.
However my wife was too prudish to do the exercises , our sex life dissolved.
Not saying that's your problem but it's one I'm familiar with. (only the one relationship)
LOL, it's 2015. I don't think there are many women who don't know about kegels; if nothing else, it's one of the first thing the nurses tell us while recovering from childbirth is "Do your kegels. No need to come back and thank me, but do your kegels."
She did provide context. She said the sex only lasted a few minutes but she wasn't judging him on it, that he apologized and said he didn't mean it that way but things still stayed pretty awkward afterwards, that this happened last night and the only contact they've had since was him contacting her to try to arrange for her to pick up an item she left at his house.
It doesn't sound like he's trying to make it up to her yet or anything. And she sounds pretty turned off and ready to move on.
What else is there to know really?
Exactly, thank you. And regarding additional context, a few posters mentioned that perhaps he had some place to go after which may explain him getting dressed so quickly and having my clothes laid out and ready - he didn't have any where to go. It was in the middle of the night.
A woman that doesn't sleep around, usually won't sleep with a man they've only known for a month.
But tbh, I don't think he was trying to be a jerk. His behavior seems more indicative of his embarrassment from under performing and the OP assumed it was her.
I don't think sleeping with a guy after a month of dating him warrants saying she's a woman who sleeps around (I know you said "usually", but no). A woman who sleeps with a guy on a first or second date maybe, but even so not always the case, I once slept with a guy on a second date, and we ended up in a relationship, and believe me I am the furthest thing from a woman who sleeps around. Meeting a random guy at a bar and sleeping with him that night, now that's a woman who sleeps around.
As for him not trying to be a jerk, or his reasoning behind it who cares, it's not like he tried to make it up to her, or even called her on the phone to sincerely apologize for his behavior, he sent measly text, which doesn't quite cut it after you've treated a woman like crap.
Exactly, thank you. And regarding additional context, a few posters mentioned that perhaps he had some place to go after which may explain him getting dressed so quickly and having my clothes laid out and ready - he didn't have any where to go. It was in the middle of the night.
Middle of the night, no less! Ha! what a class act.
Did he at least walk you to your car? (I think I already know the answer to this)
Judging from his texts, maybe he was embarrassed of his performance (since you said it only lasted 5 minutes) and panicked?
I mean his behavior just seems so odd, I never had a guy do this to me whether we were in a relationship or not, they've always wanted me to spend the night.
I guess I'll never know why at this point, but it's a possibility. However, in the moment when it happened, it felt (to me) like a very insensitive and slimy thing to do - and of course very, very strange.
I can see some reasons for this kind of thing like if one or both of you were a smoker and going outside to smoke for instance.
But the more likely thing in my opinion is that he lost it after 5 minutes, and was embarrassed about his "performance" (so many men are incredibly stupid about this) and figured it was all awkward then and laying about naked would just make it MORE awkward and you'd probably never want to have sex with him again. The weird smile was probably an awkward smile, and the apology was probably for being "bad" in bed. He probably figured you went to the bathroom to get away from him before you laughed at his sheer lameness at sex.
Poor guy, if I'm right on this...
From my own experience, I wish all men knew that I'd rather have one with low stamina and high persistence (lots of afterplay, willing to go for round #2, and maybe #3) snuggles, showering together, what have you...as opposed to the Energizer Bunny. Remember that episode of Chappelle Show where the woman had a sign in bed that said, "WRAP IT UP." She wasn't referring to protection.
This guy may have had no idea that he could have totally redeemed the situation if he'd tried...
Maybe I missed this, but did you or he leave right after getting dressed, or did you hang around clothed for a while?
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