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I know, but I legitimately felt a strong connection with this girl. Not only is she beautiful, but she is so sweet and fun to talk to. Do you think it is feasible to become friends with her outside of work, be respectful of the fact that she is with someone, and if they break up, try to swoop in then? Obviously I would take it slow, but just wondering what you guys think of that.
Last edited by xxblue100; 08-28-2015 at 06:39 PM..
Do you think it is feasible to become friends with her outside of work, be respectful of the fact that she is with someone, and if they break up, try to swoop in then? Obviously I would take it slow, but just wondering what you guys think of that.
No. Nope. No way.
What you need to do is understand that this is life. You will meet girls you like who have boyfriends/husbands, and you will have to deal with not being able to have them.
Consider this a shot at freedom. Now you don't have to worry about her anymore. Embrace it.
I do not plan on working there for life, but I think if she and her boyfriend were to break up and she was interested in me that we could work out before we started a relationship that we would not let it affect our work during (and after, if it's necessary) the relationship. Although it's just retail, we do both enjoy our jobs, as I mentioned before, but it is not a career for either of us.
@Wmsn4Life, why not? I will not try to get her when she has a bf. I know how horrible that would be. But if I establish a close friendship with her outside of work and get to know her as a person and not try to break up her or her bf (because again, I am a nice person and wouldn't want to ever hurt his or her feelings), and if they happen to break up, let her grieve the breakup and whenever she is ready to start dating again, politely ask her out, what would be wrong with that?
@Wmsn4Life, why not? I will not try to get her when she has a bf. I know how horrible that would be. But if I establish a close friendship with her outside of work and get to know her as a person and not try to break up her or her bf (because again, I am a nice person and wouldn't want to ever hurt his or her feelings), and if they happen to break up, let her grieve the breakup and whenever she is ready to start dating again, politely ask her out, what would be wrong with that?
Because it's false. You say you're a nice person, but your motive is not nice.
You are not trying to be her friend. You KNOW you will just be lying in wait for them to breakup.
Just be cool and learn how to move on. You don't have to pretend she doesn't exist, but don't act like this idea is just innocent.
@Wmsn4Life, why not? I will not try to get her when she has a bf. I know how horrible that would be. But if I establish a close friendship with her outside of work and get to know her as a person and not try to break up her or her bf (because again, I am a nice person and wouldn't want to ever hurt his or her feelings), and if they happen to break up, let her grieve the breakup and whenever she is ready to start dating again, politely ask her out, what would be wrong with that?
You have strong feelings for her... and she has a boyfriend..and you want to be at least friends with her...and you have basically stated that if those two were to break up, you already have a plan to swoop in and try to be with her in some way... I don't think you'll be strong enough to hold back your feelings for her, and I doubt that she'll spend more time with you than she does with her boyfriend. Even if you two were to be just friends, the whole situation can spin out of control. Once her boyfriend gets suspicious of you, it will be nothing but more drama.
It sucks that the opposite sexes can have so many problems once they enter into the friendship stage, but it happens. And in your case, it's already drama since you have feelings for a taken co-worker. Take some time to think clearly about this.
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