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Old 08-31-2015, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
WTF is normal in today's world, anyway?
I'll gladly draw that line for you, but I don't think everyone else would be happy with it.

I personally am not one to throw up my hands and say, "Aw, just do whatever the heck you want."
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Sunny Florida
7,136 posts, read 12,650,185 times
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I really don't know how you could truly love someone and then not feel sad after the break up. I've been deeply in love and I was completely devastated when those relationships ended. It's been a long time, but I still remember the pain and feeling of loss. It's very much like a death and I felt like I had been gutted. I hope I never have to feel that pain again, but I know I will because people I love will die.
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:39 PM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,427,520 times
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The only time a break up has never had any feeling to it was when the realtionship was dead for a long time and the calling off point was just a formality.
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:43 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,705 posts, read 19,880,600 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat View Post
Every break up I can think of that I've had I get over it the next day,the one months ago I never thought of him again,I wasn't upset.I admit usually it's me doing the breaking up so maybe that's why.
But even with a recent break up where I was deeply in love with the person and didn't want it to end I've moved on the next day,all I feel is huge gratitude that I had the person for all that time,I think of them but there's no heartbreak.
Did you ever had a long and relationship? Are you able to deeply love and desire somebody? Miss him as soon as he is out the door, etc. etc.?
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:45 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,230 posts, read 16,517,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat View Post
Every break up I can think of that I've had I get over it the next day,the one months ago I never thought of him again,I wasn't upset.I admit usually it's me doing the breaking up so maybe that's why.
But even with a recent break up where I was deeply in love with the person and didn't want it to end I've moved on the next day,all I feel is huge gratitude that I had the person for all that time,I think of them but there's no heartbreak.
Hmmm, I dunno. Doesn't sound right to me. I've left men and wasn't hurt by it, but I was done long before that. I can't say I never thought of them again. To be deeply in love, not want to end it and be over it the next day, sounds like you're trying to convince yourself you're over it. The mind has all kinds of mechanisms to protect us from grief.
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:48 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,253,323 times
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It's like quitting a job if u do it a lot it actually feels good I have known relationship addicts that went around looking for hookup so they could breakup
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,175,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cheryjohns View Post
You are the one that posted that you fall in love with a different guy almost every other day. When your feelings don't run deep - a break-up isn't even going to register much.
Agreed with this. If feelings are very shallow, then naturally there's not too much devastation when there's very little connection or seriousness. In fact, I think it would be more unsettling if you were completely miserable and torn up at the ending of a shallow relationship that had no substance other than hot looks and sex.

So just depends on one's feelings. And how close they really felt to the person. If you weren't close to them, won't inspire much emotion. It's like a family member passing way. If you weren't close to them, chances are, you won't be too effected. You may feel more sorry for the person you are actually close to, who misses them.
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Old 08-31-2015, 05:23 PM
 
1,519 posts, read 1,329,503 times
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Yea probably I thought I didn't care and was happily talking to this new guy for six hours last night but then I realised I was talking about my most recent ex alot and was thinking of him,but actual tears no.
I do think I do not get invested enough.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Hmmm, I dunno. Doesn't sound right to me. I've left men and wasn't hurt by it, but I was done long before that. I can't say I never thought of them again. To be deeply in love, not want to end it and be over it the next day, sounds like you're trying to convince yourself you're over it. The mind has all kinds of mechanisms to protect us from grief.
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Old 08-31-2015, 05:25 PM
 
1,519 posts, read 1,329,503 times
Reputation: 2183
I was with one guy for four years,broke up with him and never thought of him again.
I'll never understand that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate View Post
Agreed with this. If feelings are very shallow, then naturally there's not too much devastation when there's very little connection or seriousness. In fact, I think it would be more unsettling if you were completely miserable and torn up at the ending of a shallow relationship that had no substance other than hot looks and sex.

So just depends on one's feelings. And how close they really felt to the person. If you weren't close to them, won't inspire much emotion. It's like a family member passing way. If you weren't close to them, chances are, you won't be too effected. You may feel more sorry for the person you are actually close to, who misses them.
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Old 08-31-2015, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,175,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat View Post
I was with one guy for four years,broke up with him and never thought of him again.
I'll never understand that.
Let me ask. Do you have close relationships with other people? Parents, siblings, or friends that you genuinely are concerned with? That will show if there's an issue or not. because if there's nobody in your life you care about deeply, or would feel sad at the loss of, then there would seem to be a lack of empathy involved, or inability to feel such feelings toward people.

Even with years, it still really depends on the investment and how close you both were emotionally. Sadly, you can be associated with someone for years, but still not love them. It's about opening yourself up and showing your vulnerability to the other person and said person being receptive to it and feeling the same. You could be acquainted with someone for a long time. You get together, do fun stuff, and chat. But that's based on good times. There's no real vulnerability or connection. It's still a relationship more about possibly having fun and nice sex. But no deep connection was ever made.

So in that 4 year relationship, how deep was it? Time isn't really an indicator. Because all relationships are different. A man I used to be acquainted with, haven't seen in years. Dated a girl for years, and never loved her. He was just dating her for the sex and because he found her hot. Needless to say, that relationship ended, and he's married to a woman he did love.

Last edited by HappyRain; 08-31-2015 at 05:52 PM..
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