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Old 09-15-2015, 10:20 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,520 posts, read 22,062,512 times
Reputation: 20234

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Why do you get drunk everytime you have sex (or knew there will be sex later)?
I think he's ok ... you're just not into him. You don't need to find a reason.
Hope you're not pregnant ... use protection next time fer chrissakes!
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Old 09-15-2015, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,748,584 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by flexy633 View Post

I thought that he didn't ***, but found out the next day that he *** inside of me!!!! I said, "WHATTTTT????? Why? I'm still fertile."

Lady, nothing else you wrote about matters.

You are freaking 40+ years old, not 14. If you have not figured out how to handle this by now, you need to get out of the game.
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Old 09-15-2015, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,325 posts, read 14,542,970 times
Reputation: 39258
You've got that "Something ain't right. There's a disturbance in the force." sensation. You've just done something that you weren't sure was wise, took some risks in the process, and on top of that you had high hopes and no part of the experience with this man blew your mind. On top of that, you are not certain about long term actual relationship prospects because you're not sure how you feel about the way he acts sometimes, nor are you sure about how exactly he feels about you. You've got a pile of uncertainties to sort through.

Oh, and you need to get tested for STDs at some point, too. In case you weren't tracking that fact. Fertility isn't the only reason we use protection, ya know?

Look, OP. Long distance relationships are rarely worth the hassle of conducting them. If the match is not a marvel of perfection in every possible way...and it sounds like you live in a city where there would be plenty of souls to date and choose from...then why do this, if you have these doubts? You're scratching for logic and language to EXPLAIN to your friends, yourself, and this forum why you're maybe just not into this man, when ultimately, all that matters is that feel in your gut that says, "Nyeh...maybe not so much." You can't talk yourself out of feeling that. Once it's there, it's always there.

But seriously though, if/when you move on and try something with the next prospect in your life...use protection.
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Old 09-15-2015, 11:10 AM
 
348 posts, read 370,862 times
Reputation: 520
Meh, I never use "protection"...

As to the down feelings, at least some of it I'm sure is a bit of a hangover from the nervousness, excitement, travel and alcohol. I'm sure there's a bit of regret too about moving fast.
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Old 09-15-2015, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,283,321 times
Reputation: 50370
Not only didn't you use protection, apparently even though you talked about "what you'd do to each other" there wasn't a word about whether you were on birth control or if he'd had a vasectomy or that condoms would be a great idea - either from you or from him? I guess none of those were a consideration in your last relationship either? So little communication that you didn't know or couldn't tell if he'd made it or not? Did he ask if you did? Oh well....guess you can figure out if it's worth a meeting if you actually have to spend some of your own money on it....
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Old 09-15-2015, 06:16 PM
 
389 posts, read 425,444 times
Reputation: 522
This guy seems a little odd to me. Something doesnt seem right here. If he is getting on your nerves after this short time, that is not a good sign.
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Old 09-16-2015, 08:43 AM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,328,182 times
Reputation: 6171
So you had sex and he **** inside you and now you're telling us you're not sure about this guy? I personally can think of a dozen statements but as you are also fertile, you might want to expect late/missed periods and nausea soon. Get my drift?
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Old 09-16-2015, 02:06 PM
 
50 posts, read 129,562 times
Reputation: 38
Forget about the sex part in this story please. My time of month came two days after the act. Yes, it was stupid and it was irresponsible of me to get so damn drunk that I didn't even know until he brought it up the next day. It won't happen again. Yes, I am confused and maybe it seems like I'm not into him, but I am. I just don't go into the details on here about how I feel.

Anyway, I never did find out what his intentions are and probably should have asked this in person. I asked him in a text message yesterday what his thoughts are - does he think of this as something that could more serious or is it just an occasional hook-up? He texted back later and said, "isn't that to be determined? Considering the distance it's not such an easy task either way. I'm damaged goods and it has and will take a lot to get me back to a level of trust with ANYONE...this topic is not condusive to text either."

I didn't respond to him because I had to think on this. Damaged goods? What makes a man tell a woman that he's damaged goods? I know that he was in a 20 year relationship that ended five years ago. The woman did a number on him. Dumped him for a mutual friend and split. She left the mortgage with him and he had to sell the house later on because it was too much to handle on his own. So, I've known since day one that he had his heart broken. What makes me leery is him actually telling me that he's damaged goods. Trying to push me away? Trying to let me down gently?

Then, I get this text from him an hour and 20 minutes later: "And I had a good time...I told you that. I'm not sure why, but we seem somehow strangely compatible."
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Old 09-16-2015, 02:14 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 7,223,879 times
Reputation: 11987
Sounds like you got yourself a true blue, solid brass, No.1 title PLAYA...

And sorry, you titled this "nervous about sex with new partner" yet showed up to the barndance without even any shoes on?

GROW UP!@!!!!!
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Old 09-16-2015, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,223 posts, read 16,385,588 times
Reputation: 13536
Quote:
Originally Posted by flexy633 View Post
Forget about the sex part in this story please. My time of month came two days after the act. Yes, it was stupid and it was irresponsible of me to get so damn drunk that I didn't even know until he brought it up the next day. It won't happen again. Yes, I am confused and maybe it seems like I'm not into him, but I am. I just don't go into the details on here about how I feel.

Anyway, I never did find out what his intentions are and probably should have asked this in person. I asked him in a text message yesterday what his thoughts are - does he think of this as something that could more serious or is it just an occasional hook-up? He texted back later and said, "isn't that to be determined? Considering the distance it's not such an easy task either way. I'm damaged goods and it has and will take a lot to get me back to a level of trust with ANYONE...this topic is not condusive to text either."

I didn't respond to him because I had to think on this. Damaged goods? What makes a man tell a woman that he's damaged goods? I know that he was in a 20 year relationship that ended five years ago. The woman did a number on him. Dumped him for a mutual friend and split. She left the mortgage with him and he had to sell the house later on because it was too much to handle on his own. So, I've known since day one that he had his heart broken. What makes me leery is him actually telling me that he's damaged goods. Trying to push me away? Trying to let me down gently?

Then, I get this text from him an hour and 20 minutes later: "And I had a good time...I told you that. I'm not sure why, but we seem somehow strangely compatible."

So, you're not pregnant. Now go get yourself tested for an STD.
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