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Old 09-06-2015, 04:51 PM
 
1 posts, read 700 times
Reputation: 10

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My bf who is now 24 years old, got married when he was 17 (back home). This wasn't an arranged marriage, he was in love with this girl and wanted to get married. Despite his family being totally against it due to his age and the girl's (she was also 17), they still got married. After they got married, he moved to the US - and the girl stayed back home. Eventually things didn't work out and he divorced her. My bf told me all this the first day we got together, so I was cool with it.

Anyways, during our relationship, I noticed he was on extremely friendly terms with another ex-gf of his. My bf never introduced me to this girl as his 'ex' - he always said she was merely a friend. Until much later, I found out through a mutual friend that this girl was indeed an ex, and they had been together for sometime before he met me. IN FACT, this ex of his gave my bf an ultimatum to either stay with her, or go back home and divorce his wife (when they were together). So basically, my bf was dating some girl here in the USA, while being married to some poor soul back home. Nevertheless, eventually things did not work out with his ex #2 either and they broke up.

I understand my bf was young at the time. Too young to be married - but not too young to realize he was married AND dating someone? And definitely not too young to NOW be dating me, but still keeping this ex (who told him to divorce his wife) around?

On top of all this, my bf also keeps in touch casually with his ex-wife. I mean, one time he even asked me "would you be okay with my ex-wife coming to our wedding?" and I was like WTF?

I don't know if this is all just me being crazy or what. But I'm having a really hard trusting my bf now.
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Old 09-06-2015, 05:39 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 5,354,424 times
Reputation: 3980
Quote:
Originally Posted by doubtful5 View Post
My bf who is now 24 years old, got married when he was 17 (back home). This wasn't an arranged marriage, he was in love with this girl and wanted to get married. Despite his family being totally against it due to his age and the girl's (she was also 17), they still got married. After they got married, he moved to the US - and the girl stayed back home. Eventually things didn't work out and he divorced her. My bf told me all this the first day we got together, so I was cool with it.

Anyways, during our relationship, I noticed he was on extremely friendly terms with another ex-gf of his. My bf never introduced me to this girl as his 'ex' - he always said she was merely a friend. Until much later, I found out through a mutual friend that this girl was indeed an ex, and they had been together for sometime before he met me. IN FACT, this ex of his gave my bf an ultimatum to either stay with her, or go back home and divorce his wife (when they were together). So basically, my bf was dating some girl here in the USA, while being married to some poor soul back home. Nevertheless, eventually things did not work out with his ex #2 either and they broke up.

I understand my bf was young at the time. Too young to be married - but not too young to realize he was married AND dating someone? And definitely not too young to NOW be dating me, but still keeping this ex (who told him to divorce his wife) around?

On top of all this, my bf also keeps in touch casually with his ex-wife. I mean, one time he even asked me "would you be okay with my ex-wife coming to our wedding?" and I was like WTF?

I don't know if this is all just me being crazy or what. But I'm having a really hard trusting my bf now.
If I were in that position I wouldn't have a hard time trusting him, I wouldn't trust him at all.
It seems there are too many 'modernisms' that get in the way of common sense, and also make people think they're weird if they don't go along with it.
One is referring to exes as 'nothing but old friends,' and one is people who keep exes in their lives.
I'd say go with your feelings, because neither of these approaches make the guy sound trustworthy.
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Old 09-07-2015, 09:46 AM
 
12 posts, read 32,910 times
Reputation: 10
Yes
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Kingstowne, VA
2,401 posts, read 3,641,163 times
Reputation: 2939
Hes a serial cheater and immature. I wouldnt trust him and he wouldnt be my boyfriend.

Hes showing you who he is. Believe him, and leave him if you actually want a decent relationship.
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:42 PM
 
5,295 posts, read 5,234,397 times
Reputation: 18659
If he did it to them, he'll do it to you. You aren't special.
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