Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Not exactly. You said:
"It is not about domination, which is what "submit" implies. Wanting to have a strong man to lean on is Wanting to have a strong man to lean on is about wanting to feel safe...so when you make the woman feel completely and totally safe with you, when she knows your decisions are going to be the right ones and she can just relax and let you take care of the noises in the night and other dangers and know in her heart she'll be okay because you're taking care of it (and her) then she will relax into your leadership."
It's fine if that's what you want, but I wouldn't say it's universal. "Strong" leadership doesn't even enter into my criteria. And conceded, you did not use the word "big".
I wasn't using strong to describe physical attributes. What I mean is having a rock to lean on, someone who makes me feel physically and emotionally safe, and no I do not mean his body when I say "rock".
My grandfather was such a man, and he was hardly big and strong. He treated my grandmom like gold, he didn't order her around, he worshipped her...but there was no question she looked up to him and respected him as the "man" in the relationship, and when troubles arose, she never had to question whether he would be willing or able to lead them out of it. He didn't decide every little thing or tell her "this is what we are doing", of course she was an equal partner. One person being a leader does not mean they are not equal partners, there are leaders in every relationship even the most casual.
Seriously. I suggested a mutually convenient location for a date tomorrow, and I even proposed a time. I wasn't leading, I just asked her out and had a plan, like a normal person.
That IS leading. It is subtle, it is not overt.
Again I don't think we are talking about the same thing when we say leadership.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
That IS leading.
No, it really isn't. We didn't have to use my plan (I wouldn't have cared), and it wasn't that much of a plan, it was just tossing an idea out there because it's impolite to ask someone out and not suggest something.
Nothing about it was really leading. If she said "I don't like that place, how about _____" I would have said "Sure, no problem".
No, it really isn't. We didn't have to use my plan (I wouldn't have cared), and it wasn't that much of a plan, it was just tossing an idea out there because it's impolite to ask someone out and not suggest something.
Nothing about it was really leading. If she said "I don't like that place, how about _____" I would have said "Sure, no problem".
Of course the other person would have input. I already multiple times said it's not a dictatorship and it's not telling someone what to do. You don't get it, and I don't know how to explain it better so I'm just gonna stop trying.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl
Of course the other person would have input. I already multiple times said it's not a dictatorship and it's not telling someone what to do. You don't get it, and I don't know how to explain it better so I'm just gonna stop trying.
I don't get it because you aren't explaining it well. No one really seems to be picking up what you're putting down.
No, you prefer "easy" women who will be your one night stand/FWB until you get tired of them and move on to the next. Your "preferences" are nothing but shallow and immature.
Imo it sounds pathetic when an adult wants to be led by another adult..Once you reach a certain age you should have your own voice and thoughts and opinions that count as much as another person..
To me it sounds like daddy issues if you need to be guided by another adult
What people "want" is not nessarily a reflection of need
This may be what you are experiencing.
People say they want leaders all the time, however they may choose to word it. It's not uncommon.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
