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@Ellie: yes, the fact he got married three times scared me at the beginning. But he got married the first time in his early twenties, the second he was about thirty and the third he was 38 and divorced when he was 44. I can't recall whom of the three wives died, because it was very clear he was not comfortable of talking about this. He's the one joking about women and sentimentalism, but once I told him "don't try to joke only to hide your faults and your griefs, because you know, we humans all suffer the same way", so he sat down and told me a little about his previous relationships. He told me the reason why in his view it was so hard for him to deal with a partner, he told me it is a mix of his job (always away, always out to work) and his personality which in his opinion is not very suitable for having a woman. He can really be wild when he doesn't like something, and even though I DO believe he would never hit a woman (he has a strong macho value, he thinks it's just coward) he could throw/disintegrate anything in his sight if someone pisses him off (luckily he doesn't go around pissed off, but it could happen).
His carreer choice is not seasonal as I explained. Honestly this man did not get a real education, his family could not support him at the college, nor I think he has an high school diploma. He dropped out of high school early or probably just finished middle school and started working.
Objectively speaking, he doesn't seem to have a lot going for him. Maybe he seems exotic? Mostly it looks like you're taking him on as a project, to repair his problems. Partly, it seems you're rebelling against your family.
None of those are anything to base a relationship on.
Right now you're probably getting some great sex and gaining a new perspective on life. My advice remains the same: keep it temporary.
@Ellie: yes, the fact he got married three times scared me at the beginning. But he got married the first time in his early twenties, the second he was about thirty and the third he was 38 and divorced when he was 44. I can't recall whom of the three wives died, because it was very clear he was not comfortable of talking about this. He's the one joking about women and sentimentalism, but once I told him "don't try to joke only to hide your faults and your griefs, because you know, we humans all suffer the same way", so he sat down and told me a little about his previous relationships. He told me the reason why in his view it was so hard for him to deal with a partner, he told me it is a mix of his job (always away, always out to work) and his personality which in his opinion is not very suitable for having a woman. He can really be wild when he doesn't like something, and even though I DO believe he would never hit a woman (he has a strong macho value, he thinks it's just coward) he could throw/disintegrate anything in his sight if someone pisses him off (luckily he doesn't go around pissed off, but it could happen).
His carreer choice is not seasonal as I explained. Honestly this man did not get a real education, his family could not support him at the college, nor I think he has an high school diploma. He dropped out of high school early or probably just finished middle school and started working.
Do not underestimate the above, especially living on an island with no friends or nothing else to do during a long cold winter.
Once your romantic notion of a "seadog" wears off you are left in the middle of nowhere with an old man.
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Yes - asking you to move to his area in his home where he is out to work all of the time isn't really a huge commitment on his part. Nothing changes, except someone to cook him dinner.
My guess is this is one of those vacation relationships that works on vacation time and where part of the excitement is knowing your family wouldn't approve of him, but will become frustrating once it is long-term. And that's alright. I just wouldn't uproot my life for it. Like others said, the reality of it might be very lonely and I'd probably just keep it as some nice memories.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, his commitment in my opinion begins when he wants to keep on "going out" with me - have been talking to a couple of locals and they told me wow, it was ages he was not interested/seen with a woman. I've been told some women tried to approach him and he did not care. So this "move in with me" should be rather new for him too. Then, he told me you don't have to work - in my world this means he wants to support me financially. It's a lot for a "fling" isn't it? Plus, he told me he can come to visit my family if I want it. I tried to tell him "you're very different to what I am used to and what my family is used to", he is smart enough and he understood it is kind from him to pay a visit once. He traveled a lot in his life, he has not been in the mediterranean yet though so it would be nice for me to take him around. Another reason why I like him so much is that he IS exotic, you all can't imagine how a high profile, no pain life kept away any masculinity from men in my area. Cote d'Azur is a stunning place for a vacation, but has the highest billionaire jerk concentration in the whole world. Billionaire jerks come from everywhere to spend time here, if you look for money and are a good looking woman, it's the place for you. But forget machos, adventure, masculinity, individuality. There are surely some rare exceptions of wealthy guys that are just as tough, but the main crowd sucks, and trust me I am not a left wing fanatic...
Then, someone who thinks sex is not important for a commitment? Come on. Unless it's not money or boredom you are looking for, sex is very important. I would not think anymore of giving it up as I once tried to do for pleasing my family or to feel "comfortable in the perfect life".
So, basically, he's intriguing to you because he's not rich/spoiled?
That's a firm enough foundation for fascination. A realistic partnership that warrants emigrating, though?
Also, with somebody that much your senior, if you are of the "sex is very important" persuasion, you're going to want to weigh the fact that his age is going to come into play sooner v. later, when you'll still be middle aged and well within your sexual prime. Food for thought.
I was with somebody and it surprised everyone else how they changed and acted to be with me.
"A new side to them."
And then they changed back to exactly who they were before. I wouldn't do it.
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