Need help: what to say next? Or is this a waste of time? (dating, wife)
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I've been tinkering with online dating for many years. Occasionally I'll get a conversation going that goes like this one:
From Him: Nice pictures
From Me:
Hi! I almost didn't respond because you live so far away but I see you work all over the place. Between work and your extensive travel, when do you have time to sleep under your own roof?
From Him:
Hi,
I live just north of (a suburb of your city.)
But I'm working in (a city 2 hours away) so that is what it says on my profile.
From Me:
So you're used to a lot of driving! What's your favorite kind of commercial project to build? (because his profile really only mentions the fact that he is in commercial construction)
From him:
Restaurants. (name of trendy pizza place)
okay, so, the info in his profile is minimal. He has pictures of his nice house. A couple of pics of him and he is a decent looking guy. So I was willing to give it a shot. But what am I supposed to say to him now?
Because normally in a case like this, I'll continue trying to pull conversation out of him, and will end up giving up out of boredom.
Last edited by Stagemomma; 09-11-2015 at 04:23 PM..
I've been tinkering with online dating for many years. okay, so, the info in his profile is minimal. He has pictures of his nice house. A couple of pics of him and he is a decent looking guy. So I was willing to give it a shot. But what am I supposed to say to him now?
Because normally in a case like this, I'll continue trying to pull conversation out of him, and will end up giving up out of boredom.
"Are you married?"
(Watch out for people who do a lot of traveling (or say they do) Although not all, there are some who are "never home" and use the work/traveling excuse as a way to fool around. They never want to give their home address because guess what? They have a wife/kids. I have known people who dated men like this and ended up getting hurt and God knows what it did to the wife and kids.
Sorry but I think "what do you build" is a bit strange, for a very first convo.
He might be all, I don't even know you.
I would keep the conversation far lighter and more general - I used to start with "so have you met many people off here" or something, to get the feel of their personality before I wanted to know their CV.
I've never online dated, so I can't comment from personal experience but from what I gather and or hear, it seems like there are far more men on those sites... if that is the case, why are you spending so much time "pulling conversation" out of this guy as you put it.
Men in general aren't as wordy or talkative as women, maybe that is a factor here... IDK.....
(Watch out for people who do a lot of traveling (or say they do) Although not all, there are some who are "never home" and use the work/traveling excuse as a way to fool around. They never want to give their home address because guess what? They have a wife/kids. I have known people who dated men like this and ended up getting hurt and God knows what it did to the wife and kids.
Lol~ I've been doing this for 9 years. I'm not in any danger of forming a relationship with a married guy, so that is not even a worry for me at this stage of the conversation. Married or not, with conversational skills like this, this guy has not a prayer of actually meeting a live person, does he?
If the conversations didn't go well, I didn't go out with them. It was a good way to weed them out.
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Sorry but I think "what do you build" is a bit strange, for a very first convo.
He might be all, I don't even know you.
I would keep the conversation far lighter and more general - I used to start with "so have you met many people off here" or something, to get the feel of their personality before I wanted to know their CV.
Okay, point taken, but that fact that he is a commercial builder is LITERALLY the only thing he put about himself in his profile. I just assume people prefer to talk about themselves.
Its one of the reasons I prefer phone contact straight away.
Ive dipped in and out of OLD for years, mostly out, and I would never meet anyone without chatting to them first.
You get a feel for their intelligence level for a start.
OP also, if he's not giving you anything to work with, it gets old real quick. These are the guys we see posting on CD, eternally confused why OLD never works for them.
A conversation takes two and if a guy just sits about waiting to answer questions, never asking any, hes a dullard.
I believe you may have put this guy off by asking so quicky about his workplace. Its a touchy subject for a lot of people especially someone who may have a reputation to consider.
Try a lighter more general topic next time and see if he opens up a bit more.
Talking workplaces is for face to face meetings imo, once you get to know them a bit.
Okay, point taken, but that fact that he is a commercial builder is LITERALLY the only thing he put about himself in his profile. I just assume people prefer to talk about themselves.
I like your suggestion though.
Men in general, at least men of my generation like to talk about their jobs/work, it's a sort of identity for a lot of men and for men that are in position of power or responsibility it gives them a way to puff out their chests a bit.
Asking a man about his work isn't a turn off for most men, but for some reason the younger set seems to be off put by it... for some reason I can't quite figure out.
Ask him a sexual question
What is ur favorite sex position
Or
What is the longest you've ever gone down on a girl
I guarantee he will become Mr conversation
Then avoid sex talk or answer with short answers to steer convoy away...this is last ditch effort and if it fails it will be fun to see him finally show interest before u squash his soul lol
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