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Old 09-13-2015, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Northville, MI
11,879 posts, read 14,200,113 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I don't know that it has to do with sex as much as the idea that women (in general) have a lot wider and deeper social networks than men (in general) Some men get most of their emotional support from their SO in a relationship, and when they're not in a relationship they have few people to really discuss things with or to lean on. Their buddies and their families don't really fill that role for them.
This is my exact feeling as well. It's not that we don't have networks. I'm single and have many friends who keep me happy. Rather, men don't want to discuss such topics with their friends.
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Old 09-13-2015, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,543,435 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I don't know that it has to do with sex as much as the idea that women (in general) have a lot wider and deeper social networks than men (in general) Some men get most of their emotional support from their SO in a relationship, and when they're not in a relationship they have few people to really discuss things with or to lean on. Their buddies and their families don't really fill that role for them.
Yep.

Also why men who are widowed and who divorce (without having the next relationship already in the works prior to divorcing) tend to remarry both sooner and with greater frequency than women in the same position. Women are more likely to develop and maintain strong support networks that make the need for a significant other to fill this social need not quite as pressing.
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:04 PM
 
Location: NNJ
15,071 posts, read 10,089,802 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
I don't know that it has to do with sex as much as the idea that women (in general) have a lot wider and deeper social networks than men (in general) Some men get most of their emotional support from their SO in a relationship, and when they're not in a relationship they have few people to really discuss things with or to lean on. Their buddies and their families don't really fill that role for them.
I agree with this... if only from personal reflection.

For some reason, I have women friends who feel absolutely comfortable sharing their mind with me. For one or two, I have no problems confiding mine to them.

However, I have yet to find a guy friend who has reached that level of comfort with me.

Now I think about it... I have no idea why. Its not that I'm doing it on purpose...


As to TabulaRusa post.. if I were divorced/separated/widowed (knock on wood not to be in that situation), I'm probably one of those guys that would probably fall into another relationship relatively quickly afterwards....
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:07 PM
 
1,568 posts, read 1,118,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Generally speaking, it tends to be women who desire sex more, once they're in a relationship.
This rarely happens for me, usually it's the opposite, usually when we are just dating or thinking about dating we are humping like bunnies every chance we get, and once it starts getting serious the sex dies down to once a day to a few times a week, especially if they move in.

Quote:
When they're not, their libido tends to die down a bit, which makes being single easier to handle. And when their libido doesn't die down, they can take care of themselves.
Not even in the same ball park for me. masturbation is a necessary evil for when single.



Quote:
Emotionally, they don't have as hard a time dealing with being single (except for the few who constantly long and whine for a partner). I think there are significantly fewer women than men who go so far as to beat themselves up for being single, allowing it to depress them.

There have been studies done in several countries that consistently show that the happiest people are single women, and married men. Single men are on the bottom, and married women are next-unhappiest.
I've read a study like that in the 90s, men are also 8 times more likely to commit suicide after a divorce or 84 % of men over 60 are more likely to pass away within 2 years after a spouse of 20+ years dying(that stat drops down to 30% for widowers who remarry within a year), the old folks call that dyeing of a broken heart.

I guess men just fall in love more deeply than women.
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Old 09-13-2015, 05:08 PM
 
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If a woman is under 40 and average or above in looks, she does not have to be single for long. If she is single for a period of time over 6 months, she's probably too selective.

Women have it pretty easy.

I think this might be why women cope with being single more easily. Even later in life, there are still good options.
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Old 09-13-2015, 06:00 PM
 
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I think its more to do with women tending to have larger social circles than men, who have a greater tendency to be loners. Women have a wider group that they can find support from, while men struggle finding it.
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:26 PM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,442,227 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit View Post
I agree with this... if only from personal reflection.

For some reason, I have women friends who feel absolutely comfortable sharing their mind with me. For one or two, I have no problems confiding mine to them.

However, I have yet to find a guy friend who has reached that level of comfort with me.

Now I think about it... I have no idea why. Its not that I'm doing it on purpose...



As to TabulaRusa post.. if I were divorced/separated/widowed (knock on wood not to be in that situation), I'm probably one of those guys that would probably fall into another relationship relatively quickly afterwards....
I think because it's more of the same of men being brought up to not discuss their true feelings. When they actually do, they are labelled as "unmanly" or even gay. Many men and even women are uncomfortable with a man expressing his true feelings. Hell, I see it all the time on this forum. Old habits die hard. That's not an issue with some of my closest friends. One friend of mine went through a horrible divorce. He really opened up to me and really broke down, hit him really hard obviously. But five years later he's really bounced back and doing well, though he says he has no plans of ever marring again.

Last edited by david0966; 09-13-2015 at 07:38 PM..
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:47 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,188,065 times
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Yeah. it's really individual. Can depend on personality, environment. Some men love being single, and don't care about deep emotional intimacy. Their male buddies, and sex with whomever-hassle free, fits them fine.

Then yeah. Some women are desperate for a men that end up dating a guy who's a mess, and stay with him. Or cases, where they really like a guy who doesn't want them. But if the guy wants a F. Buddy relationship, they'll settle for that just to be with him for a bit.

But women being very close an intimate with each other is seen as fine. There's a double-standard that men doing it is unmanly or gay. So many men probably don't share really deep things with their buddies. But women being very close an intimate is cool, and they won't automatically be labeled lesbians. It seems women are expected to be, more nurturing, and that includes with other women. So, for emotional comfort and someone to lean on or be soft with, a man may be cool doing it with a woman-not another man.

Last edited by HappyRain; 09-13-2015 at 08:14 PM..
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Old 09-13-2015, 07:59 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,631,047 times
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I think the social thing is on target. I've been single most my life minus a couple years. You get used to it. As for sex drive.. that can be taken care of.
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Old 09-14-2015, 08:10 AM
 
Location: TheNorthEast
277 posts, read 271,297 times
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I know several couples who divorced. The guy re-married very soon after, usually to someone who's less pretty, less fun and with lower self esteem than the ex wife. The women are still not married, but have boyfriends, and take longer to get a boyfriend. I think men fear loneliness more than women, so sometimes they will lower their standards significantly, just not to come home to an empty, cold bed. Women usually are pickier; they want a partner not because their life sucks otherwise, but because they want someone who would enhance their lives and make it better. Also, after a divorce women often realize that marriage does not have that many benefits after all (unless you want kids). The women I know don't want to be married again- they would like a LTR but don't want to be constrained by the social/moral obligations of a marriage.
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