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Hairstylists? OK, so your much-vaunted high standards don't apply to a prospective date's education level. Thanks for the memo.
You guys are the ones saying my my standards are ridiculously high, I think im very reasonable.
All I want is a decent looking girl in decent shape who is pleasant and good character. I'm okay with a high school grad who makes 1/10th my income. That stuff doesn't matter.
It's funny how we dismiss every single location as a horrible place to approach women
gym - bad
Bars/clubs - the women are attention whores
when they're at work - Don't wanna bother them
When you're at work - Don't want to risk getting fired
Restaurants - no
Etc...
etc...
Etc...
When are we just gonna say that approaching is horrible?
No, not "we", you. YOU"ve always said the gym is a bad place. Chatting could definitely happen shopping, but it's helpful if you initiate it. One can run into friendly women who initiate a convo while shopping, waiting at the cashier, etc., but generally, it's the person who's eager to socialize (this would be you) who starts the conversation, that's why I asked if you talk to women when you're shopping. Because if you don't, you're not going to get results. If you want results, you have to take the initiative.
Besides, the greater point is that the best places to socialize are the sports groups, various hobby groups/clubs, co-ed activities, volunteering, etc., as we've said umpteen times. Your examples of "restaurant, shopping" are lame, by comparison. You try to create the impression that you're allowing plenty of opportunity for socializing, because you go to restaurants, when in fact, you're devoting most of your social time to your bros and to football, as someone else pointed out.
The fact is, OP, that you're not really trying. You're not placing yourself in target-rich environments, and you're expecting women to make the first move, because you can't bring yourself to. That's not trying.
You guys are the ones saying my my standards are ridiculously high, I think im very reasonable.
All I want is a decent looking girl in decent shape who is pleasant and good character. I'm okay with a high school grad who makes 1/10th my income. That stuff doesn't matter.
Am I the only one here who has the horrible, sinking feeling that once the OP meets someone he gets along with, and gets married, he'll wake up one day and realize he's made a terrible mistake?
OP, restaurants generally aren't a place to socialize. It can happen--socializing can happen anywhere--but not so much at restaurants. Shopping? Do YOU talk to women when you're shopping? YOU're the one who wants to make it happen, you should be doing the chatting
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
And you'd be surprised how many women in their 20's do the approaching. They're just not approaching you, because you spend so much of your time with your bros.
You've said they're not approaching you. If that's the case, you need to do the approaching. They do approach, but for whatever reason, they're not approaching you. So you'd increase your odds for success by taking an active role, and doing some approaching.
Am I the only one here who has the horrible, sinking feeling that once the OP meets someone he gets along with, and gets married, he'll wake up one day and realize he's made a terrible mistake?
I hope I"m wrong.
No because I think I'm a good judge of character and I have self respect. Also I do know what I want.
Although this is talking about me finding somebody In near future (which is obviously incredibly unlikely). I don't know how much being permanently single for another 20 years will erode my self respect and dignity to where I'm willing to settle for even a horrible person who will treat me like garbage, but I guess we will see
You've said they're not approaching you. If that's the case, you need to do the approaching. They do approach, but for whatever reason, they're not approaching you. So you'd increase your odds for success by taking an active role, and doing some approaching.
You said they're not approaching me because I'm with my bros all the time, then you changed your story completely
It's funny how we dismiss every single location as a horrible place to approach women
gym - bad
Bars/clubs - the women are attention whores
when they're at work - Don't wanna bother them
When you're at work - Don't want to risk getting fired
Restaurants - no
Etc...
etc...
Etc...
When are we just gonna say that approaching is horrible?
Approaching sucks. No question about it. But do you know what sucks more? Not having regular sex. Being the only single person among a sea of established couples. A lack of meaningful companionship. You've got to muster the strength to make the approaches and get it done.
You said they're not approaching me because I'm with my bros all the time, then you changed your story completely
The main point I was trying to make, which I didn't make clearly enough, is that, because you prefer activities with your bros over activities that naturally bring you into contact with women (co-ed sports, classes at the gym (yoga, tai chi, whatever), cooking classes, etc.), you're not giving women a chance to discover you and get to know you. You won't meet any women playing football. Or kicking back over beer with your friends after work, or whatever. You could, however, easily get to know women without any pressure to approach, ask out, date, etc., if you chose a co-ed sport or other mixed-gender venue where you automatically interact with women (some kind of class or volunteer work popular with women, for ex.)
Then you said you're out shopping, you go to restaurants and the gym, ergo--they could approach you there (I'm still deciphering your train of thought, that's where we got derailed). True, they could approach you there. But in order to break the ice, they'd have to approach you or start a chat at the cashier's, or ask your advice on a purchase, or something. That requires more initiative than if you were learning to cook alongside them in a class, were on a team or a hiking group with them, working on a volunteer project together, or in some other way already interacting with them. Your chances would be better if you're in an environment where you're already participating in an activity alongside women. Compared to waiting around the mall for someone to approach you, or hoping the cute girls shopping at the same store as you will notice you and talk to you, or, needless to say, playing football with your friends.
But yes, women in their 20's will figure out a way to approach if they see a guy they're interested in. But even more so if they had a convo with a guy in their class (or team, whatever) who seemed nice, and was attractive. If they like the way you come across and decide you may be the guy for them, they'll take the initiative. Or will start hanging around you more when they see you. It's so much easier (for women as well as for men) to meet people through shared activities. And you're not giving yourself the opportunity to benefit from that type of exposure to women. Because you're too busy playing football and going to bars/clubs with your friends (where you tend to play the wallflower role), or hanging out at their mansion.
You're like the more passive women that guys on this forum complain about; women who think that all they have to do to get a date is show up, and the rest will take care of itself. Well, it doesn't take care of itself, unless the woman is pretty and approachable, and even then, guys like you won't approach, either because they think the woman is already taken, or they get cold feet. You're thinking if you go shopping or to a restaurant, women should approach you, because you showed up. It could happen, but that usually happens only in exceptional cases. It's not a good strategy if you're starved for female company, as you like to claim to be.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 09-13-2015 at 04:27 PM..
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