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The corrolation between the FB/FWB situations and the FZ situations that I'm trying to make here, is that sometimes PEOPLE of any gender will engage in deceptive behavior towards other PEOPLE in order to keep a situation on their own terms, whatever those may be, knowing fully that the other party wants something different. If a woman is leading a guy on with flirtation and a flimsy hope that she might just come around, and keeping him "just a friend" whenever the possibility seems to warm up, and is using him for any sort of personal gain, then that is no bueno. And it's not a very good friendship whatever else it is, either. That seems to be the scenario that most guys complain about with the "friend zone."
And if a man, and here is a very important point, Anoninternetguy...if a man DECEIVES a woman into thinking he might be available for more, knowing that more is what she wants, but intending only to keep her strung along so he can hook up if he really wants to...that is also wrong.
But both of the aggrieved parties should, at some point, wise up to the situation and save themselves, or else they have no one to blame for their continued victimhood but themselves. No one was holding a gun to their heads, and it's a free country. Don't like what's going on? Change it.
I am not talking about a FWB situation where the parameters are clearly laid out in black and white, and someone "secretly" wants more. I'm talking about a situation where a person's emotions are being exploited. Just as a guy could be exploited by a so-called "friend" who is really just using him. I'm saying instead of comparing the trees side by side and counting the leaves, look at the forest. Sometimes people just aren't very good to one another.
The bottom line here is this: If you're a straight guy who is hanging out with a woman socially that you're not sleeping with, you're in the friend-zone. And, you do want to sleep with her if you're bothering to hang out with her - even if you're not admitting it to yourself; if you weren't attracted to her physically, you wouldn't give her the time of day. And, if you are in that situation, the woman is taking advantage of you - though of course you're letting her.
You're wasting your time with her, and could instead be spending this time going after women who actually are into you, instead of wasting time with someone who isn't.
The corrolation between the FB/FWB situations and the FZ situations that I'm trying to make here, is that sometimes PEOPLE of any gender will engage in deceptive behavior towards other PEOPLE in order to keep a situation on their own terms, whatever those may be, knowing fully that the other party wants something different. If a woman is leading a guy on with flirtation and a flimsy hope that she might just come around, and keeping him "just a friend" whenever the possibility seems to warm up, and is using him for any sort of personal gain, then that is no bueno. And it's not a very good friendship whatever else it is, either. That seems to be the scenario that most guys complain about with the "friend zone."
And if a man, and here is a very important point, Anoninternetguy...if a man DECEIVES a woman into thinking he might be available for more, knowing that more is what she wants, but intending only to keep her strung along so he can hook up if he really wants to...that is also wrong.
But both of the aggrieved parties should, at some point, wise up to the situation and save themselves, or else they have no one to blame for their continued victimhood but themselves. No one was holding a gun to their heads, and it's a free country. Don't like what's going on? Change it.
I am not talking about a FWB situation where the parameters are clearly laid out in black and white, and someone "secretly" wants more. I'm talking about a situation where a person's emotions are being exploited. Just as a guy could be exploited by a so-called "friend" who is really just using him. I'm saying instead of comparing the trees side by side and counting the leaves, look at the forest. Sometimes people just aren't very good to one another.
On the bright side...sometimes they are!
The point I'm making is that your analogy is flawed because if we were actually talking about a fwb situation where the girl wanted more, guy said no, and she kept coming back anyways, the guy would be vilified, as the dude was in the thread I mentioned.
All you're trying to do with your analogy is deflect responsibility from the woman using the thirsty dudes, onto the dude for being thirsty. But it doesn't work, because like I said, if we were talking about a real fwb situation, CD would be out in pitch forks about the dude "using" the poor girl.
Look around this forum and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.
I see men (myself included) and women who first view things from their perspectives as men and women. I see a few men and women who consistently fail to even consider that someone else's point of view might be valid, but those people are rare. You may be squinting in an effort to see the few women who are always right, meanwhile looking right past the many women here who are more open minded. Could be?
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