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Yeah, well very few women "date down". No shock there. Then again, admittedly, when I browse OLD (I know, I know...) and see 40-year old women with age ranges of 27-45 or thereabouts, I sorta' get the idea why they are single, childless, and not getting ready to be grandmothers in a handful of years. Ah, I miss the good ol' days.
(Does that make those women "dirty old women"? I mean, we are all about equality here, you know.)
Again, as posted earlier, my childhood best friend is a 38 year-old woman engaged to a 20-year old. He was 19 when they met. Do I think that she is with him because she has troubled relating to same-age peers within her cohort? Absolutely. Do I think that the only reason it's gone this far is because she is more akin to the emotional maturity of a 20-year old at nearly 40? Yes, I do. She definitely has evidenced quite a bit of arrested development, all her adult life. In many ways, she has not progressed much beyond the high school stage, to be honest. She has always dated younger men, because men her age do not see her as their peer. Her lifestyle and interests are very immature. Do I think that her 20-year old fiance is always going to be content to be with a woman who was 18 years old when he was born? NO. No, I do not. In any way, shape, or form. Her past two long-term relationships (again, both with much younger men, but in the 8-10 year age gap range, not the 18-year gap range) ended when the guys stepped out with women their own ages. I don't see this playing out any differently.
Do I think she's a "dirty old woman?" Nah. I think she's immature and showing extremely poor judgment.
Alright...Time For Some Captain-Style Bluntness...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mauriene
The bigotry on this thread is palpable. Not to mention the jealousy and general nosiness of some people. At the end of the day, men who like younger women will date younger women and there's not a damn thing these people can do about it. OP, if you like this 19 year old girl and she likes you, go ahead and date her. You don't need anyone's approval. They can kick and scream all they like about how they're not jealous, but they are and it's obvious. Men will date whoever they choose and that includes much younger women and foreign women or both, and if you don't like it, tough. It's your problem.
If the young lady in the OP's scenario was MY daughter/grand-daughter/niece, then all that junk about 'not being able to do anything about it' is a load of crap
Once again, we have someone here who wants to woof and bark from behind his computer about something, but will fold like a cheap postcard when it comes to ACTUALLY GETTING IN SOMEONE'S FACE AND RUNNING THEIR MOUTH
I'm gonna emphasize what I said in my opening statement---if you come near any of MY relatives trying to be Joe Suave' Cool Horndog Older Guy, and I find out about it, trust me, when the smoke clears, you won't be able to stand upright after the one-sided chat that will ensue
Has not a dang thing to do with jealousy or nosiness---keep deluding your self there Spanky...that's your way of trying to avoid the truth---that you and anyone who THINKS like you will get a biblical-grade a**-kicking if you mess with the wrong man's child...I don't want to hear that malarkey about bigotry and approval either
Yeah, I'm bigoted, against all the whiney post-adolescent drivel I have seen spouted in this thread...and approval comes into play too, especially when the dispenser of said approval is holding a 12-gauge Remington pump at port arms, telling you in a loud, clear tone to get off his property and stay the 4-letter word for sex away from his 'emancipated and of legal age' daughter
In other words, if you try that May/December nonsense and suffer the consequences, and you don't like it, tough...don't have current medical insurance? It's your problem...period, point-blank, end-of-discussion
The bigotry on this thread is palpable. Not to mention the jealousy and general nosiness of some people. At the end of the day, men who like younger women will date younger women and there's not a damn thing these people can do about it. OP, if you like this 19 year old girl and she likes you, go ahead and date her. You don't need anyone's approval. They can kick and scream all they like about how they're not jealous, but they are and it's obvious. Men will date whoever they choose and that includes much younger women and foreign women or both, and if you don't like it, tough. It's your problem.
Exactly what I was thinking as I read this thread. It's like high school in here and all the adults left the building.
Maybe a strong, independent and emotionally mature 19-year old woman
No such thing. Not anywhere close to a 40-year-old anyway, even a really immature one.
Quote:
isn't into being a drunk lush at sorority parties.
That does not equal "emotionally mature." I was not a party girl by any means. At 19 I had never been drunk--the total alcohol I had consumed in my life would equal maybe one Solo cup--and I had been to one party in high school. I still wasn't emotionally mature at 19.
Besides, when talking about teenagers,"mature for her age" is a just well-known euphemism for "she puts out."
Quote:
Then again, admittedly, when I browse OLD (I know, I know...) and see 40-year old women with age ranges of 27-45 or thereabouts, I sorta' get the idea why they are single, childless, and not getting ready to be grandmothers in a handful of years. Ah, I miss the good ol' days.
(Does that make those women "dirty old women"? I mean, we are all about equality here, you know.)
40 with 27 is a long way from 40 and 19. A 40-year-old woman going for a 19-year-old would be a perv too, yes.
Yeah, I'm bigoted, against all the whiney post-adolescent drivel I have seen spouted in this thread...and approval comes into play too, especially when the dispenser of said approval is holding a 12-gauge Remington pump at port arms, telling you in a loud, clear tone to get off his property
Nothing says you are secure in your position intellectually than hiding it behind a gun.
As others have said OP - there is nothing wrong with the age difference per se. And there is little anyone can do about it if both of you - legal consenting adults - wish to pursue it. Those waving their guns around are just full of bluster.
The only thing that should be of any concern to you is what you and her want from a relationship. That differs from person to person - so you must establish in yourself and her in herself what your goals and requirements are from a relationship.
Then you can decide if there is anything on that list negatively influenced by your age difference. Some people will find there is. Some will not. But only through this exploration will you find out for yourself.
The way i see it, the chances of it turning into a functional LTR are close to zero because of the too many differences that are only normal with such an age difference. Yet, it can be a mutually beneficial experience for both of you, as long as one of you doesn't cross the limits, such as her getting infatuated or something, and then getting heart broken when it's over. As many have said, 19 is an age when most are very emotionally labile; when you fall in love easily, against any logic. So if you think you both can keep emotionally detached, it can be fun. If you think she'll end up hurt, try to be a gentleman and not put her though that.
I will give you the short version. Take away her immaturity, it is much more fun to be around someone who is young and full of life than being around a bitter, jaded woman my age who has 3 kids,and has been through a divorce or two.
I would not actively pursue a relationship with someone that young because we are on different pages but I would rather be around "fun" people than jaded, bitter people.
LOL. That will probably be her in another 15-20 years and probably a couple of those kids will be yours.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
LOL. That will probably be her in another 15-20 years and probably a couple of those kids will be yours.
Maybe, but I just don't understand why people don't go out with non bitter and jaded women that are their peers that haven' been divorced and don't have a bunch of kids. There are plenty of them out there.
I just turned 44. I've tried (because they contacted me) going out with 33-35 yo women, and I just am at such a different place and have almost nothing to relate to them on/about. A kid? What the heck would I have in common with them?
Maybe, but I just don't understand why people don't go out with non bitter and jaded women that are their peers that haven' been divorced and don't have a bunch of kids. There are plenty of them out there.
?
Because those women probably wouldn't be interested in him.
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Alright...Time For Some Captain-Style Bluntness...
ACTUALLY GETTING IN SOMEONE'S FACE AND RUNNING THEIR MOUTH 
daughter