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Old 09-20-2015, 07:58 AM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,762,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faelroon View Post
Girls do it more.
OK...

Faelroon:

So what are your feelings and opinion regarding girls being clingy/obsessive?
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Old 09-20-2015, 08:31 AM
 
419 posts, read 1,235,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rosebyanothername View Post
I think that is sweet that it worked out for both of you.


For me, I would think if someone was that way early on, I would think they were not really "in love" with me because they didn't really know me. I used to believe that "love at first sight" could be possible. Not anymore. I think, it is important to be with someone for a good while and learn everything you can about one another. I would hate to tell myself I had fallen in love with someone and end up getting hurt when I realized it was one-sided or if we became too serious too soon only to go through a breakup.

I knew her very well before I even went out with her. She wasn't my type looks wise although almost every guy that I knew who saw her would tell me how hot they thought she was. I personally didn't see it. I think because I didn't want to even make an attempt at her was the reason we became the couple we are today.

I am a generous person and I did many nice things for her over the years and she in turn did nice things for me. She was attracted to me, but she never once crossed a boundary. She wanted to be with me, but I never once caught the vibe. I guess I was just feeling like we were good friends and felt no pressure because of that. She actually became one of my best friends in a period of about 3 years.

She felt like I would never go for her because she knew the type of girls I liked. She knew I was getting over a girl I was once madly in love with, who actually I thought was my soulmate and believe it or not was the ONLY girl I would ever use the term "love at first sight" for me. She ended up getting pregnant while we were engaged and got an abortion even though I begged her not to. I would have loved and taken care of our child regardless of if we lasted as a couple or not and she knew damn well that financially I had the means to do so. To this day that was one of the lowest points of my life and I've had more than my fair share to compare it to.

Anyway, my wife and I in the course of 3 years laid down a solid foundation for what we have together today. I will never forget the day when I looked at her (after knowing her for 3 years) and she made my heart come to a screeching halt. She had turned around and looked at me kind of out of the corner of her eye and I saw something in her expression that stopped me in my tracks. She became the most beautiful woman in the universe that day... and she still is!

Later that day I asked her out on a date and when I asked her I saw the exact same expression in her eyes.. 3 days later we went out and we walked into a bar together and after opening the door for her she turned and looked at me and I saw the expression again.. I didn't even think about it, I just blurted out "I love you."
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Old 09-20-2015, 08:56 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,638 posts, read 20,130,445 times
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I dated a guy like that.. I later found out he had severe ADHD, OCD, and crippling anxiety. This is my definition of a dating nightmare. I very much need time alone & room to breathe, and dealing with this guy's clingy & obsessive behavior pretty much drove me insane.... I think it's all about 'BALANCE' though. . . . He's been w/ his current gf a couple yrs now (thank God..) so either he is on the right medication or she's kinda co-dependent just like him.. Whatever works!
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Old 09-20-2015, 09:18 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy1190 View Post
I am trying to make sense of why some people act in an overly attached or clingy manner when they meet someone. Does it not register that most people will be highly put off by such behaviour?

I'm talking about incessant texting, "I love you" way too early on (like on the 2nd date), pressure to move in together, asking why you haven't called or texted back within a certain amount of time.

Why do people do this? As far as I am concerned, it's an instant attraction killer and something that will make me simply want to run for the hills.

I'd love some opinions on this. It irritates the crap out of me when people do it.
I can relate. In my case, the clingy person was another male. I wasn't interested in the least bit. Never showed hin any indication and yet he became an all out stalker. Scary how fixed and obsessed some people will get.
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Old 09-20-2015, 09:20 AM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,323,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kratomberger View Post
When "people" do it? Haha, come on now. You talk about this as though both sexes do it equally. But it's women who do that kind of thing 99% of the time, not men. There's no need to be politically correct Amy, we're all friends here. No one is going to jump on your for telling the truth.
Not in my experience. If someone got clingy on me, it was a guy
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Old 09-20-2015, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Utica, NY
1,911 posts, read 3,018,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602 View Post
Not in my experience. If someone got clingy on me, it was a guy
My post did not blame men or women more. I don't know why people are making it about gender.
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:14 AM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,784,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kratomberger View Post
When "people" do it? Haha, come on now. You talk about this as though both sexes do it equally. But it's women who do that kind of thing 99% of the time, not men. There's no need to be politically correct Amy, we're all friends here. No one is going to jump on your for telling the truth.
Really? I had a man I dated do this. It was really strange. He was already dreaming about future children, making a life together, talking about what spot in the closet would be his in my apartment. Oh right and asked me if I was in love with him early on. Initially I thought he was joking around.

I ended things when I realized he was serious and clingy. He got mad about me not telling him what time I got home from a trip. I was weirded out and got POed. He was taking things too seriously, and his expectations were outsized for the level of commitment. (We weren't dating exclusively.)
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:19 AM
 
16 posts, read 29,239 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy1190 View Post
When they do it to me.
So whos forcing you to date them?
If you don't like clingy people then don't date them
Im pretty sure there are woman and men who will appreciate a clingy person by their side unlike you
Some of them have good hearts u know
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:31 AM
 
37,495 posts, read 45,798,776 times
Reputation: 57001
Quote:
Originally Posted by kratomberger View Post
When "people" do it? Haha, come on now. You talk about this as though both sexes do it equally. But it's women who do that kind of thing 99% of the time, not men. There's no need to be politically correct Amy, we're all friends here. No one is going to jump on your for telling the truth.
Well, I'm female, and I can tell you that the great majority of men that I have dated have been FAR more needy and clingy than I am. Drives me nuts.
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Utica, NY
1,911 posts, read 3,018,791 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodra777 View Post
So whos forcing you to date them?
If you don't like clingy people then don't date them
Im pretty sure there are woman and men who will appreciate a clingy person by their side unlike you
Some of them have good hearts u know
Its dependence and a negative behaviour trait.
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