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And when men do it, it makes me want to headbutt them. Stop it!
So basically a perfectly useful and functional word angers you so much that you need to call people "wackos" and "dweebs" and "pansy" - and you get the urge to violently attack them?
It sounds like a classic case of "It is not them - it is you". Seek help. Or perhaps find something genuinely useful to direct your concerns towards. You know something that actually matters in some way.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945
I find it confusing and odd too to say "partner." You are never sure if they are gay or straight. My ex GF once introduced me as her "significant other" and I thought that was downright goofy ! I simply prefer the old terms of BF or GF, regardless of the person's age.
Don
Why would it matter if they are gay or straight and what business is it to you?
That is one of the points. To get away from a heteronormative society.
My wife and I had this discussion last year when we got together. As a same sex couple who is now legally married, she used the term partner with the women she was with before, and I dislike that term immensely also. The teminology that gay couples use for their significant others has always been a subject of great debate, more so than with heterosexual couples. I don't like the term partner because it implies the two people have a business arrangement, not that they are a couple. It seems very impersonal to me. Gay couples chose between a myriad of terms for each other, among them:
1. partner (my second to least favorite, and probably the most common)
2. boyfriend/girlfriend (the one I used, but others criticized that one for sounding juvenile)
3. lover (people didn't like that one because it implied there was only a sexual relationship and no other relationship between the couple)
4. wife/husband (inappropriate because many couples were not legally married, especially before the Supreme Court decision)
5. better/other half (I can't stand that one, because it implies the person can't function as an individual)
Now I call her my wife. That sounds much better, and we can skip all the debate. It's amazing how the SC decision solved a big problem and provided solutions to a few trivial problems as well
No Fire Fighter got hurt over weekend working shift, my son had a safe weekend during his patrols, I have to pick up my granddaughter from school, today, then off to lawyers office for my closing, busy day tomorrow, oh, we have the Rangers playing an exhibition game at the Garden, oh, what were we talking about again, our wives and girlfriends?
or something. Oh, that's right some kid has a problem with a word?
Are you ok? you didn't melt? you didn't get hurt? you need to sit down? you didn't fall off a chair or anything? you want a glass of water or something? you want a tissue? you going to be ok? you sure?
Come on young man, get your boot straps up and drive on, life's too short to wig out over a word.
I think people use it because in this day and age, it's a good catch all. Back in the day, when you were a young girl or boy, you dated and had a boyfriend or girlfriend... got married and were a husband or wife. And maybe later, became a widower or widow. That was it.
Now we have all kinds of people, at all ages, in all kinds of relationships and not enough terminology to go around.
Since I am in a committed relationship, I suppose /girlfriend/boyfriend works, although I don't like the way it sounds really (at least at my age). While it's a word for a committed relationship, it just sounds too "young" since it's "boy" and "girl" (but gentleman-friend and lady-friend sounds too "elderly"). Shall it be "womanfriend" and "manfriend?" Sounds weird.
And before we were committed, what's the word to use? I used "partner" then for sure since I didn't know what else to say. "The person I am dating and am having sex with although we aren't exclusive yet." Too long.
What if we had been just FWB? "My friend with benefits" is too long as well. But saying girl or boyfriend is lie. Or what if we were in an open relationship and had several "partners?" Etc.
It's generic, I'll give you that. And I don't like it because of that, but until we have more words to describe all these other relationships, what else should we use?
I find it confusing and odd too to say "partner." You are never sure if they are gay or straight.
That's exactly the point. Why does it matter? If they think it's important for you to know the gender of the person they are banging, they will let you know. Otherwise, who cares?
What if we had been just FWB? "My friend with benefits" is too long as well.
We used to call those umfriends, as in, "And this is my...um...friend."
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