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I've done coffee dates, restaurant dates, other venues....
What matters in the end is if there is even anything to go from there.
My husband, our first date was Pizza Hut. We met in a neutral town....because it was midway between his work town, and I could find it.
We had chemistry over the phone though. We had chemistry, after the first 2 email exchanges.
We met one week later.
If the mans expectation is sex on the first date...I won't date him. There are plenty of other women who will accommodate that expectation...I'm sure.
I agree to a date, if I feel comfortable.
I have had to learn the whole dating spiel at age 39, from scratch. Right into the internet world.
I don't drink coffee, so no coffee dates for me. I would meet at a local bar and have a drink though, so I think that is kind of the same.
How about a fruity drink, tea, hot chocolate, a smoothie, etc.? I don't drink alcohol but when I have been to a bar I simply order any other thing that doesn't have alcohol, problem solved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by moxiegal
If the mans expectation is sex on the first date...I won't date him.
I agree to a date, if I feel comfortable
Unfortunately there are people out there with lots of expectations as you can see around here. You will have guys expect sex on the first date or women expect to be fed for free on the first date and just mooch off a guy.
How about a fruity drink, tea, hot chocolate, a smoothie, etc.? I don't drink alcohol but when I have been to a bar I simply order any other thing that doesn't have alcohol, problem solved.
Unfortunately there are people out there with lots of expectations as you can see around here. You will have guys expect sex on the first date or women expect to be fed for free on the first date and just mooch off a guy.
Yeah, at best. If it is going anywhere we bail on the coffee shop fast as even the most intimate ones are a lousy atmosphere.
I think there are nice coffee shops. There is a Starbucks in AC that I used to meet at sometimes that overlooks the ocean and has big couches to sit on, other coffee shops near me have outdoor seating, some have small bands, etc.
If it goes well though there is nothing wrong with extending it into a date.
I think people have much more extraordinary expectations these days and there are more and more people willing to hold out for something that is exceptionally rare because their girl friends friend of a friend found this guy who make 250k a year and looks like the barony paper towel man, what they fail to mention is that she looks like a play mate.
Lots of stuff like that going on.
You see it in the job world too, employer posts an ad and bam 900 resumes. Could you imagine getting 900 job offers? Do you think having a little training and a year of experience is going to cut it with 900 resumes coming in for one posting?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk
I'm so glad I'm not dating anymore.
People seem way more interested in labeling things and formulating reaction/progression/expense charts than actually getting to know people. You don't die any sooner today than people used to! You don't have to rush through everything, give it a score, tabulate future statistical outcomes and proceed based on them. Just have a good time. Or, if you're not having a good time, figure out a way to do so.
A first date is a first date. A meet is a short first date. Soon there will be a pre-meet (15 mins in a public area with no cost to determine if OD profile matched description), then maybe a pre-pre-meet (a mutual glance through binoculars at a safe distance) etc.
If people were just honest and forthright and open to stuff with a positive attitude, none of this idiocy would have to happen.
People seem way more interested in labeling things and formulating reaction/progression/expense charts than actually getting to know people. You don't die any sooner today than people used to! You don't have to rush through everything, give it a score, tabulate future statistical outcomes and proceed based on them. Just have a good time. Or, if you're not having a good time, figure out a way to do so.
A first date is a first date. A meet is a short first date. Soon there will be a pre-meet (15 mins in a public area with no cost to determine if OD profile matched description), then maybe a pre-pre-meet (a mutual glance through binoculars at a safe distance) etc.
If people were just honest and forthright and open to stuff with a positive attitude, none of this idiocy would have to happen.
I don't think it's quite as cynical as you are making it out to be, and I disagree very much with your last statement. It has nothing to do with honesty. Sometimes when you get in front of a person the romantic chemistry just isn't there, it doesn't mean they lied about themselves prior to meeting. I am actually MORE open to dating all sorts of people since I started meeting prior to dating, as even guys I'm very much on the fence about I still will meet if they're nearby because it's only 30 minutes out of my day.
The people who don't meet ahead of time, who make every meet a "Date", they are the ones who are overly fussy about who they will meet, because there is more invested in a date (money and time) than a cup of coffee. Me, if they agree to meet me nearby for coffee, I'll give just about anyone a chance to at least see if there might be a spark.
I wish life worked out like that. Coffee dates are LAME, an absolute waste of time if you are a man. If a woman does not have the guts to go to a bar like a big girl, she aint for me. Simple as that!
I'm betting that in your town of 3,000, bars are the only choice anyway.
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