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I have been in a relationship for the last 4 months. Before two weeks i posted about some of my girl friend's behaviour and almost all of the replies advices me to broke up.
Specially one guy told me to read about Borderline Personality Disorder. I read a lot, and of coarse she behaved like that.
I know she will be crushed if I called her and told her about it. I am also really don't like to hurt her. Is there a better way to break up with my girl friend?
I have been in a relationship for the last 4 months. Before two weeks i posted about some of my girl friend's behaviour and almost all of the replies advices me to broke up.
Specially one guy told me to read about Borderline Personality Disorder. I read a lot, and of coarse she behaved like that.
I know she will be crushed if I called her and told her about it. I am also really don't like to hurt her. Is there a better way to break up with my girl friend?
Face to face is the best and only way mate. I didn't read the other thread ( so don't know if she's violent ) but it's a lot more decent than over the phone
Well, you sure don't need to say "I'm breaking up with you because I think you have borderline personality disorder!"
You can just say "I don't think we're compatible and we need to stop seeing each other". DON'T offer too much explanation This group's content is available only to members - Life is a Hike! (Raleigh, NC) - Meetup because that will just give her fodder for arguing with you about it. DON'T feel a need to convince her you are right or to justify your feelings to her. That will make her think she can convince you that you are wrong. Quick, clean and polite. You aren't happy with the relationship. Period.
Well, you sure don't need to say "I'm breaking up with you because I think you have borderline personality disorder!"
You can just say "I don't think we're compatible and we need to stop seeing each other". DON'T offer too much explanation This group's content is available only to members - Life is a Hike! (Raleigh, NC) - Meetup because that will just give her fodder for arguing with you about it. DON'T feel a need to convince her you are right or to justify your feelings to her. That will make her think she can convince you that you are wrong. Quick, clean and polite. You aren't happy with the relationship. Period.
Unfortunately, the link is only available to members.....
Maybe text her "we have to talk" and then when you meet tell her that you are not comfortable with this situation and that you need out for your own sake? I wouldn't advise to break up through text /email unless that's the communication channel that you use most often for serious conversations.
To break up a relationship over text is for cowards, losers and socially inept people. I don't care how bad the other person may be, people deserve at least a talk and an explanation.
I had to break up with a friend with BPD. She kept texting and calling and bad mouthing me to others and laying a guilt trip on me about how badly I hurt her and I was the only one she had trusted. I had to tell her I thought it best that she not text or call me anymore and I wished the best for her. After this, she called me and told me that she was thinking about hurting herself one night. I rushed over to her house. The person on the phone who sounded depressed, distraught, crying was completely calm within the 10 minutes it took me to get to her. No mention of hurting herself--at all. She didn't even try to fake a tear when I was there. I was told that I was still allowing her to control me.
I had coffee with her once after that and heard about all the pain I had put her through. I allowed her to make me feel guilty and ended up apologizing to her. (Severe people pleaser, I know). I realized from our conversation that nothing had changed with her and never would as long as I allowed myself to be around her. I had to block her number the other night because of an incident which happened and has me frightened. She has been telling others how horrible I am and how much I have hurt her and I have lost people who I considered were my friends because of this. It is like she had (has??) this fixation on me. All I ever did was to try and be a good friend to her.
I have her name and some background info about our relationship saved on my computer. A couple of people I am close to know about all of the history between us. In case anything happens to me. Because of some of the things she shared, I really am fearful that she will try to hurt me physically because she is extremely ill. She has been in the psych ward at least twice and I do not know what this woman is capable of because she is still not over it apparently.
Because of her and another "friend" who was extremely nasty to me, I have decided to become extremely picky about who I decide to be friends with. I suspect that woman also is BPD. I just stopped answering her calls/texts. No longer will I allow myself to get involved with anyone who shows any signs of this. There are people stronger and more equipped than I am who can deal with these types better than I can.
I have been in a relationship for the last 4 months. Before two weeks i posted about some of my girl friend's behaviour and almost all of the replies advices me to broke up.
Specially one guy told me to read about Borderline Personality Disorder. I read a lot, and of coarse she behaved like that.
I know she will be crushed if I called her and told her about it. I am also really don't like to hurt her. Is there a better way to break up with my girl friend?
I would recommend that you leave any armchair diagnosis of mental illness out of your discussion with her. As someone said in your previous thread, you should let her know that you feel it is not working out and wish her the best. I would normally advocate for having this discussion in person; however, if you are concerned that she is unstable, over the phone would be fine. Via text is not.
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