So I asked him how he thought about the two of us dating...

[jaypee]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

Then after telling him I was serious about us dating, he seemed freaked out by avoiding talking about it other than he believes Jesus needs to be in the middle of a relationship between woman and man.

What did Jesus say? Is he into this sort of thing?

[Ginge McFantaPants]

Originally Posted by jaypee

What did Jesus say? Is he into this sort of thing?

I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking that

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by AKtoWAtoUT

"...he believes Jesus needs to be in the middle of a relationship between woman and man."

With this mindset, how could he make it to 40 without having sex????

That's the oddest threesome I have ever heard of.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

OP, can you explain the thought process of asking about dating after being flaked out?
You do not need the experience of serious relationship to see that this one will not pan out and it's also put a dent in friendship that will be hard to recover from.

Why did I ask him dating after him flaking out on me on our plans. I can't read his mind so I brought it up and I was interested in him before he did that

Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete

It could be that he's just not into you, but it is a very real possibility that he ruled you because you're not a virgin. I do know a few older virgins from my [unfortunate] time in the church circuit, and all but one were put off by dating someone who wasn't a virgin, mostly because they want someone on the same page with not having sex until marriage.

ahhh, that makes sense.

Originally Posted by jaypee

What did Jesus say? Is he into this sort of thing?

I wouldn't have a clue. Some couples believe in a Jesus-centered relationship. They are the type that focus & live by the Word of the Bible then apply it to their life. Here explains more about it.
http://m.wikihow.com/Have-a-God-Cent...g-Relationship

Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete

I'm glad I wasn't the only one thinking that

oh Jesus, oh Jesus LoL. I do consider myself somewhat religious but not one of those ultra conservative types.

[Inkpoe]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

Why did I ask him dating after him flaking out on me on our plans. I can't read his mind so I brought it up and I was interested in him before he did.

But you didn't need to read his mind, actions speak loudly and clearly. I reread the OP, I originally took it that he wouldn't provide a reason... But you say "legit"-- I'm not even sure what constitutes legit for you. Either way, the flake out should've put the dating question on hold until you could better gauge him. I'm just saying, the flake out should've been a red flag.

[wheelz]

People like him are completely wasting the one chance they get at living and enjoying life. the big question is, why in the Hell would you EVER want to get involved with a person like him? I prefer to kick guys like him off my doorstep and make sure they darn well know they better never try to stand there again.

I work with a guy like that who hasn't had sex with his wife in over 7 years. He wants to, but she doesn't and won't, in fact, she hates him and wants him out of the house. They met at church, he feels as a good Christian he needs to stay the course, she wants a divorce. I told him, "God made prostitutes for a reason and apparently she must be reading a different bible." He said if it wasn't for online porn he would lose his mind. I told him "it's a little late for that." He is a nice guy, but honestly, I see nothing that would attract the opposite sex.

Why would you ever want to be with someone that has no plans of ever putting you first?

I suppose I will make a few enemies with this post, but I couldn't care less.

[Yiuppy]

Hes weird. Stay friends only.

[Yiuppy]

Originally Posted by jaypee

What did Jesus say? Is he into this sort of thing?

Gos said be fruitful and multiply. Jesus was down wit' it.

Aint say anything about marry first.

[QuestOfTruth]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

Then also, recently flaked out on me at the last minute.

So then, I threw out the idea to him of us dating.

Him flaking out on you demonstrates how unimportant spending time with you is and the lack of explanation further reinforces this. Then you throw out the idea of you guys dating?

What did you expect?

A guy demonstrates he isn't serious about you and then you ask him about dating....

[erjunkee]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

We have been friends for a few years and do things together with our group of friends. One time recently, we went out to eat just the two of us.

Then also, recently flaked out on me at the last minute about our plans without a legit reason for doing so.

So then, I threw out the idea to him of us dating. At first, he avoided the question like I was joking about it. Then after telling him I was serious about us dating, he seemed freaked out by avoiding talking about it other than he believes Jesus needs to be in the middle of a relationship between woman and man. He is deeply religious. Meaning he doesn't believe sex before marriage. However, he knows that I've had premarital sex in the past. And I respect his decision wanting to wait until marriage. With him being in his 40's & still a virgin, and always joking about sex and women, seem like he would want to be in a relationship & experience the real thing instead of joking about it all the time.

I've never been a serious relationship so don't know what to expect

If those are his reasons for not wanting sex, then respect that.

Irrespective of his stance on sex, it appears, based on what you've written, that he's just not that in to you.

Knowing that those who choose to remain virgins until marriage is a hot topic button on this forum should have lead you to realize that posting anything mentioning this will get people riled up, and it's usually against the person choosing to wait. You knew this.

Nevertheless...

Lesson learned: let go and move on.