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I tried to get him a few months ago to set me up with his single friend and he refused saying he wasn't good enough for me.
Then said I can't have any of his friends
Not sure what difference it would make covsideringv nothing's going to ever happen
Be honest with yourself, you don't want a friendship... you want to be lovers. You have expressed feelings and physically all over each other. You miss him after a short time being away. You are reacting to him not adding you to FB.
I'm in the similar situation to your "friend"; developed feelings towards a very close long running friend and former GF. Your friendship may have crossed the line into a "relationship" of sorts that is backfilling emotional (physical?) needs that are left unfilled by his current relationship. It puts one into a very conflicted situation. I tried to rectify my situation and was unable to... The only solution was to distance myself from my friend so that I can refocus on my relationship with my wife. It was abrupt, painful but necessary. Someday, I hope she forgives me.
I wouldn't be surprised if he is doing the same. Let him be. Its painful but if you actually cared for him, you will let him have his time and space. If you two are to be together, he needs to first take care of things at home; separation perhaps.
You don't get to choose who you fall in love with, but you do get to choose what you do with it.
In I ideal world I wish we could be together but reality is it will never happen.
I guess a idea of friendship is less painful than him erased from my life totally.
The only thing is we don't know where to draw the line.
With other male friends I can sit and have a beer and that's it but with him we have a drink or sit next to each other and we end up kissing or hugging.
It might sound cheesy but it's like electricity then we will just high 5 and say friends then the next minute we are holding hands.
It's madness I'm a grown woman I should be able to be friends
You have to realize wanting a friendship and trying to be friends again is a selfish thing to do. You both know how you feel around each other and yet you still want to PRETEND to be friends to make it easier. It's not going to work, this has affair written all over it. Another poster is in a similar situation like you. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone but you can control how you react to them.
I think we thought if we labeled it "friendship" it would make things seem less sordid.
I know it's wise to have no contact and let things settle.
Maybe one day we can be friends when things settle down.
In I ideal world I wish we could be together but reality is it will never happen.
I guess a idea of friendship is less painful than him erased from my life totally.
The only thing is we don't know where to draw the line.
With other male friends I can sit and have a beer and that's it but with him we have a drink or sit next to each other and we end up kissing or hugging.
It might sound cheesy but it's like electricity then we will just high 5 and say friends then the next minute we are holding hands.
It's madness I'm a grown woman I should be able to be friends
No one really knows why or how it happens. I guess one can say that there is strong chemistry between you two that is highly addictive. You long for each other's presence. Even now.. I'm still dealing with the heartbreak over loosing my friend... I essentially fell for her twice in my life (we have known each other for more than a decade). I don't feel this way with my other female friends.
When my GF and I ended our relationship, we distanced ourselves for a while. Our paths crossed because we have the same group of friends. At some point in time, we both came to realization that we wanted a friendship... and we worked on it... even after I got married to another. I guess time to accept and let the feelings (madness) fade helped us get to that point.
Will we be able to get back to that? Not sure... I'm afraid this time might be difficult. I hurt her pretty badly... I believe.
Only time will tell.....
It is best you try to get through the heartbreak (as that is what it sound like). You need to accept what has happened so that you can seek other (and more healthy) relationships. You can begin by finding ways to distract yourself... channel your pain into something constructive.... pick up a new hobby or activity and obsess over it. Allow periods of time to reflect on what happened and then get right back into your life. Don't focus on thoughts that maybe a friendship is possible.. you need to accept that it just might not happen.
I can't even say he has hurt me because I put myself in a situation which was only going to end in me getting hurt.
I knew my feelings were more than friendship and I chose to go ahead and play the friend card anyway.
I guess being friends with him might of been more painful for me.
I guess if he doesn't need me as a friend I don't need him.
You need to go no contact for at least a few months to let the dust settle. After that, you can look at things clearly and see if you're both cut out to be friends. It's happened to a lot of us at one point or another. Good luck.
Psychology claims, that if two past lovers can remain 'just friends'..its either they are still 'in love', or never were.
I could believe that....
I do believe love isn't enough for a lasting relationship. I do believe you can love more than one person in a lifetime.
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