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OP doesn't want any commitment and little effort at a relationship. Both FWB and committed relationships require some sort of established relationship.. which takes work.
You can't have it both ways..... You either have two people just to have sex.. Piece of meat. Or you have two people that have some sort of level of involvement with each other (ie friendship) and not be treated just as a "Piece of meat".
It doesn't matter what gender...
You want me to care about you as a person, then I expect the same in return.. sex is just something we as two people throw into the mix.
You want me to walk away after sex... then don't expect me to take interest in the other as a person.
Well, I'm just sayin', if there's some emotional commitment, the sex tends to be better. I may end up a little hurt at the end, but I'll take that over a human sex doll. I might as well use my hand and my imagination for that matter which is just as if not more satisfying than having sex with someone with no terms of endearment that doesn't even involve kissing.
Well, I'm just sayin', if there's some emotional commitment, the sex tends to be better. I may end up a little hurt at the end, but I'll take that over a human sex doll. I might as well use my hand and my imagination for that matter which is just as if not more satisfying than having sex with someone with no terms of endearment that doesn't even involve kissing.
This is true.
But if you want an emotional commitment to some sort of level from your sex partner/friend or whatever, you will need to also return in kind. A relationship (even at this level) is a two way street. Otherwise, you are just being dishonest with them..
But if you want an emotional commitment to some sort of level from your sex partner/friend or whatever, you will need to also return in kind. A relationship (even at this level) is a two way street. Otherwise, you are just being dishonest with them..
Who ever said anything about my not returning emotional commitment? I just can't do the time thing and there's going to be an expiration date to any relationship I'll get into in this town. I'm a very passionate and sweet person. I often have to actively not get too emotionally involved.
Is my request unrealistic? It seems like guys either want to hump and dump or they get mad if I'm not constantly texting them. I want something low pressure but I don't want to be a booty call. Something like a low key relationship. I may be up for an open relationship but I'm not used to that notion yet. Is there a better way to communicate what I want?
A lot of men have tried the upfront and very serious way of doing things. Many women freak out and run away when you try to give them what you THOUGHT they wanted. I've been ditched when I was exactly what a recently divorced and possibly at least emotionally abused woman with a company to run needed at the given time. I wasn't trying to put a ring on her finger. Just offered to help and be a close friend that went on some dates....maybe lead to more. Nope, the night she told me to get lost she sold a $750,000 CNC lathe......
Who knows if she is still in business......I was so shocked and hurt to be lead on like that and dumped when I really was truly there to help. You don't even want to be friends now even?
Oh yeah....I guess she knows why Dad, myself and some other guys WITH U.S. were laughing at the Uncle Sam "we come we ***k ***t up, we leave" t-shirt now too. LOL
OP doesn't want any commitment and little effort at a relationship. Both FWB and committed relationships require some sort of established relationship.. which takes work.
You can't have it both ways..... You either have two people just to have sex.. Piece of meat. Or you have two people that have some sort of level of involvement with each other (ie friendship) and not be treated just as a "Piece of meat".
It doesn't matter what gender...
You want me to care about you as a person, then I expect the same in return.. sex is just something we as two people throw into the mix.
You want me to walk away after sex... then don't expect me to take interest in the other as a person.
And I don't agree with this. I'd say what the OP is looking for is not terribly common, but I wouldn't describe it as a ton of work. Two people that would be such a match would be two people that would get along intuitively, the kind of people that could easily be in a true committed relationship together, but don't want to commit to one: maybe they don't have the time, maybe they don't believe in monogamy, maybe they have a hangup about intimacy...it could be any number of things.
I don't think FWB requires any work at all, to be honest (contrary to what you said above...maybe we have different definitions of "work"?)
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
And I don't agree with this. I'd say what the OP is looking for is not terribly common, but I wouldn't describe it as a ton of work. Two people that would be such a match would be two people that would get along intuitively, the kind of people that could easily be in a true committed relationship together, but don't want to commit to one: maybe they don't have the time, maybe they don't believe in monogamy, maybe they have a hangup about intimacy...it could be any number of things.
I don't think FWB requires any work at all, to be honest (contrary to what you said above...maybe we have different definitions of "work"?)
Agree, she's looking for something between a FWB and a casual relationship.
The thing I would disagree with is that these are uncommon. They're pretty much the from what I see.
Seems like you just can't sit still for 8 months. A physical relationship is higher on your priority list than whatever you it is that is keeping you in the town you don't like.
Hence, the sensible solution is move away now and get into a type of relationship you really want in the long term.
Feeling like a piece of meat is a matter of perception: if you control and enjoy what is happening to you, you are not a piece of meat, you are getting what you want. If you make it happen- you are proactive; if you tolerate it happening to you - that's when you are in a powerless situation.
What you want can actually be an attractive arrangement for men who have to have a degree of maturity and open-mindedness. I am not sure how to find such men (probably posting your intentions on a dating site may scare many away, i'm not sure). But once you interact with someone you are attracted to, and you sense that he is someone with enough respect for himself and you, and with enough intelligence to separate sex, friendship and emotional involvement, it would be worth to suggest exactly that. How about telling him: I find you attractive; I think we can have some fun times together but I am not looking for a relationship or any strings attached. What would you think about just casual hookup that would benefit both and would stop when it no longer works for either of us? I think there are men out there who'll get your point.
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