Millions of us have given up on finding love, survey shows (older, child support)
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Yet, Sex is for idiots, too ..and all others. Apparently, this is really what people are driven by, not love (attachment, connection, a lengthy involvement). It used to be said that terrific physical compatibility would emerge due to what two felt for each other, on an emotional level. Though surely some may experience this, you wouldn't know it by what goes on. Everyone (seemingly) has sex before they know anything about a person. I've seen men say in topics here that "If she won't have sex on the first date, it's over", claiming they "need to know that they are sexually compatible". (So, he is not interested in or willing to get to know the woman to gauge if she is worth engaging, physically).
I think that "first time sex" might be exciting because it is new, but it is not necessarily representative of what might develop down the road. (Either partner may not really be themselves, initially). Then, there are the guys who will stop seeing a woman because she does have sex early. Though it has been instructed "to wait", there are pressures and yes, needs of both. But as we see, even if a female acts upon her own needs, she may be judged as "incompatible" or "slutty" ..(and another one bites the dust).
I have had to laugh that it will be depicted in movies and TV that two will have sex almost immediately. Of course, they may make it appear a lot transpires between the two prior and "under the guise of love", with the male uncharacteristically "falling for and stating his love" for the female. (I realize this is part of movie-making, but they should quit trying to entice the audience, especially impressionable females who might feel this sets the stage for reality). No wonder females continue to struggle with meeting and getting to know men.
And do you have sex?
I see what you are trying to say but not every thing is like that. Humans change their minds.
Why would any individual assume their taste is different from the masses' taste, a word which implies something negative by the way? There are studies suggesting that there is a broad agreement in society regarding who is attractive and who is not.
It does indeed matter less when one gets to know people without having a choice, for instance colleagues. One might end up with someone one would not even have considered, say, in a bar or wherever people meet voluntarily.
A lot of that is conditioning. Sounds as if you are saying, having the average-looking foisted upon you.. Lol.
Of course, celebrities and performers being in the limelight, further the impression that this is all that exists and what the norm should be, for all. Though in that industry, there does exist the double standard that men can be of any age, weight or appearance, while females will generally lose opportunities for roles, if not youthful, thin and attractive. Another subtle influence having created confidence in the everyday man, seeing themselves positively reflected by celebrities, musicians.
I have sometimes consciously made a point to observe when in public, how many might fit that expected standard of perfection. I suggest that others do this themselves and note how many you see that do. I might ask that you all report back on your findings.
I see what you are trying to say but not every thing is like that. Humans change their minds.
My earlier response was in reference to what you had said, that I thought I had quoted, then. Actually, I was attempting to elaborate on what you said, by mentioning that "sex too is for everyone, including idiots". (I thought I we were thinking similarly, as I responded. Now I do not know what you mean by "humans change their minds").
All I really meant was, is that sex has been and continues to be more of a powerful influence seemingly over love, since everybody does it, with or without love.. seems mostly without. It has become intertwined and confused in being referred to as one in the same.
I am mostly speaking of people 30+, with a few exceptions of remarkable young folks.
Nope 30+ here. I know a lot of great 30-somethings who would like to be married and are not. Me and around half of my friends. Some are, but most aren't.
Nope 30+ here. I know a lot of great 30-somethings who would like to be married and are not. Me and around half of my friends. Some are, but most aren't.
Maybe the new age is 40+ in the big metro areas.
I live in the east coast and noticed that a lot of people don't get married and start having kids until they are in early to mid thirties but when I lived in the Midwest and south the starting age was early to mid twenties. I have a kid and most of my friends are married or have kids and we are all 27/28. Out here I'm very abnormal to be in an a middle class east coast town with a 4 year old, when most my age are just now getting engaged let alone marriage. In urban areas or working class areas I'm normal but where I live I'm not, I'm Always one of the youngest moms at my kid's school. I wonder if it's a regional thing. For instance if I was still down south or in the Midwest I would start to feel the pressure to get settled and make more babies but out here I feel like I have about 5-7 years before it becomes something to worry about. If I'm not mistaken stan4 lives down south. I can definitely see why many would be married down south in their thirties provided they were good people, reasonably attractive, etc. but I know on the west coast and east coast having those qualities alone in your thirties doesn't mean you will be married because people tend to settle down later out here.
I live in the east coast and noticed that a lot of people don't get married and start having kids until they are in early to mid thirties but when I lived in the Midwest and south the starting age was early to mid twenties. I have a kid and most of my friends are married or have kids and we are all 27/28. Out here I'm very abnormal to be in an a middle class east coast town where most my age are just now getting engaged let alone marriage. I wonder if it's a regional thing. For instance if I was still down south or in the Midwest I would start to feel the pressure to get settled and make more babies but out here I feel like I have about 7 years before it becomes something to worry about. If I'm not mistaken stan4 lives down south. I can definitely see why many would be married down south in their thirties provided they were good people, reasonably attractive, etc. but I know on the west coast and east coast having those qualities alone in your thirties doesn't mean you will be married because people tend to settle down later out here.
I'm 34yo living in the Eastern area and have tried to hold off having a family until I would be able to successfully provide for them. Turns out that was a bad idea..lol ... should have joined the welfare train JK.. Most women around my age or younger around here are either divorced with kids or married with. I did just talk to a young 29 yo lady that was single from Washington State. She was obviously holding out until she established herself financially.. Hot trait I might add.
Of course any experience is skewed to one's own situation. For most women around here, if I get involved with them I will be some form of step dad of sort.
I'm 34yo living in the Eastern area and have tried to hold off having a family until I would be able to successfully provide for them. Turns out that was a bad idea..lol ... should have joined the welfare train JK.. Most women around my age or younger around here are either divorced with kids or married with. I did just talk to a young 29 yo lady that was single from Washington State. She was obviously holding out until she established herself financially.. Hot trait I might add.
Of course any experience is skewed to one's own situation. For most women around here, if I get involved with them I will be some form of step dad of sort.
Well I'm 28 and I have a 4 year old. I moved out here almost 3 years ago. The majority of women I've met are married or start having kids by that age(34) so I can see what you mean, but I still think that even at your age you aren't doomed because it's still within normal settling down age out where I live. But in the south or Midwest? It definitely would be a concern for me if I were that age and not settled yet with a relationship
Nope 30+ here. I know a lot of great 30-somethings who would like to be married and are not. Me and around half of my friends. Some are, but most aren't.
Maybe the new age is 40+ in the big metro areas.
DFW is a big metro area.
And I know people from all over the country.
I also know lots of people who *think* they're great who could...use some work.
But I do agree regional differences must play a big part.
For example, I see being a sarcastic snark as a major personality flaw and a sign of a damaged person. My friends from the NYC area think it's hilarious. Culture.
Just goes to the point I made that some people are not looking for a Love Relationship. They are looking for a perfect "Buddy" with benefits.
What happens down the road when something happens, and there is a medical issue with your woman, or an accident, that leaves her needing some care? What do you do, dump her, because now she has "Baggage?
Also, there are a lot of women out there that have kids, and found that what they thought was Love was not, or the Hubby left them for a younger woman, with no baggage. So you eliminate that whole list, because you "don't like" kids.? Even more so, why would any woman want a guy who "don't like kids."
Then they have the audacity to complain about "Not finding true love." Maybe its me, but I just don't get it.
Maybe we should change all marriage vows to "Do you take this woman to be your wife...etc...till death do you part unless she becomes ill, runs into some misfortune, becomes a burden to you, or you have to make a sacrifice because of her?"
I will never date a woman who has kids. Single mothers just want another daddy for their kids and I'm not a sucker. I also do not like children and don't want to be around them. I'd rather be single forever than have to date a mom. No thanks
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(I realize this is part of movie-making, but they should quit trying to entice the audience, especially impressionable females who might feel this sets the stage for reality). No wonder females continue to struggle with meeting and getting to know men.
JK.. Most women around my age or younger around here are either divorced with kids or married with. I did just talk to a young 29 yo lady that was single from Washington State. She was obviously holding out until she established herself financially.. Hot trait I might add.
