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The idea that the one that should pay is whoever asks/invites the other person is ridiculous.
At no point in the conversation where a person asks the other person out is an inherent financial obligation created.
If I ask you out, I am asking you out for your company and there is no precedence or logical reason for you to assume that I am going to pay..... for you. The default should always be that you are going to pay for yourself. Why would the person being asked out assume that they have a right to be paid for?
The first date should be paid by whoever did the asking.
That simple.
You don't expect your friends to pay the drinks for you because they called you out in a club, they called you to join them on trip, etc. At best, you share the expenses. The same logic must be applied to dating, UNLESS you're the one who called others at that particular moment. If you're the one being invited, you cannot either expect it or demand it. That's just showing the entitlement.
A situation with friends usually involves one or two friends usually being the ones calling others. Should they pay every time they call you out to join them, what makes you so special to expect them to pay for you? You can always decline, after all.
The same applies to dating, especially given that so many women expect a guy to be the one initiating the date, or they never ever called any guy on a first date, ever. I think this "whoever asked for a date - pays" is a candy-wrapped attitude that a guy must be the one paying. You know or you suspect that the guys will be unwilling to let you cover the bill even if you ask them - and you'll play along.... but you'll sit there and pretend dumb if a guy called you out, because you think it's his duty to pay.
To deal with this BS about "whoever asks should pay", most men switch to hint about "maybe", "we could", "we should", etc - and a number of women, including you, criticized it in other topics as "indecisive". You guys could follow what you preach.
By the way, it may only be remotely related to this topic, but the fact is that U.S. dating scene revolves around men and women thinking they can and should be entitled to do whatever, but the other party must follow some obviously outdated and self-harming practices because, guess what.... it benefits the other party and helps the other party to maintain the options open, while the party that follows the cherry-picked "traditional norms" will effectively restrain him/herself and personal options. Effectively, it's all about having best of both worlds while imposing worst of both worlds upon the people you wish to date.
This can further be elaborated, but it requires a topic of its own, since it's been discussed numerous times before and it usually drags into a long comment.
The idea that the one that should pay is whoever asks/invites the other person is ridiculous.
At no point in the conversation where a person asks the other person out is an inherent financial obligation created.
If I ask you out, I am asking you out for your company and there is no precedence or logical reason for you to assume that I am going to pay..... for you. The default should always be that you are going to pay for yourself. Why would the person being asked out assume that they have a right to be paid for?
Not really. If you invite someone to your home for dinner, you don't expect them to bring their own food. If the offer is made as "I'd like to take you out to dinner," that person is offering to host the outing. Part of the host/guest relationship often involves paying. It's different than if they said, "let's meet at the new Thai place."
The idea that the one that should pay is whoever asks/invites the other person is ridiculous.
At no point in the conversation where a person asks the other person out is an inherent financial obligation created.
If I ask you out, I am asking you out for your company and there is no precedence or logical reason for you to assume that I am going to pay..... for you. The default should always be that you are going to pay for yourself. Why would the person being asked out assume that they have a right to be paid for?
I agree. I mean, it's nice when guys pay for me but it shouldn't be that they're required to pay by default just because they asked me out. If they want to pay, then great.
Not really. If you invite someone to your home for dinner, you don't expect them to bring their own food. If the offer is made as "I'd like to take you out to dinner," that person is offering to host the outing. Part of the host/guest relationship often involves paying. It's different than if they said, "let's meet at the new Thai place."
Interesting. Let's not forget that when you invite someone over for dinner, they also have no say in what is being served. As my guest, they eat what I make whether it's a pot roast, chicken, whatever it may be. If they don't like it, they have the choice to not eat and buy their own dinner.
By your logic then, if I am inviting someone out on a first date and I'm expected to pay, then that means they will also eat whatever I order for THEM... and if they don't like it, then they can pay for their own dinner. You don't go over to someone's home as a guest and makes requests for what is to be served do you?
I never understood guys who go somewhere out of their league and budget, then stiff the woman with half the check. If I was his date, I would never see him again.
If you can't afford a $8-$16 meal, you shouldn't set your sights so high on such a pretty girl.
By the way....Endless Shrimp is going on right now at Red Lobster......$14.99.
Quality and cheep!
Use your heads dudes!
I know every deal and bargain within 40 miles of here.
14 oz ribeye with three sides and a house salad for $12.95! Shhhhhh!
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