Refusing to date someone outside your race = discrimation/racism? (man, children, American)
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[quote=miu;2670067]I really don't understand the fuss and need for people to be so openminded about their choices for a spouse.
It's not a need. It's being attracted to the soul of a person rather than the superficial and exterior and silly values.
If you happen to meet someone of a different race to whom you are attracted and have the same values, as we did, you also learn more of what their issues are as a minority which enriches you. The richer life I have, the more options I have and the more I can grow as a human being.
[quote=NorthmeetsSouth;2670409]I am always amused by people who feel morally superior because they date members of other races. They think that it makes them more "enlightened", but it doesn't. All they are doing is dating the person they found attractive.
I agree. They are going out with whom they find attractive. The enlightenment comes later.
I used to be into dating outside my race, but then I grew up.
Marriage is serious business. There's already plenty of issues to deal with in a marriage or serious relationship.
I feel sorry for the white moms we know who have kids that look nothing like them. They're good moms, but their kids don't resemble them in the least! It's as if they're stuck babysitting someone else's kid for the rest of their life. And they always seem unhappy. Why experience the misery of having kids who don't identify with you or look like you?
When you bring children into the world, and you see a resemblance to you - it's an indescribable joy. It's a special bond. It's also a great joy for relatives to see a part of themselves in their grand-children as well. You're creating a legacy. You can't understand what you're missing when your kids don't look like you.
As far as the original post goes, no I don't think it makes you a bigot or racist to choose not to date outside your race. If you are not attracted to them, all you are doing is making a statement. I never felt the need to make that statement. I am white and married a white man. I never dated a black, Asian, Latino, or any other race b/c in general I don't find them attractive. There are also plenty of white men I don't find attractive. It's a matter of preference. I'm not narrow minded or small. It's my choice. Just because someone else chooses to date outside their race doesn't make them a better person than me. I had a close friend years ago who married a black man and has 2 children with him. She told me it was a long road to go down but she loved him and it was worth it. That's all that matters in the end. If you are happy, everything else is secondary.
If people want to say I am discriminatory and a bigot based on the type of people I'm attracted to, then they can stand on their high and mighty pedastal and do so. Whom I choose to share my life with and date is my decision and those who think I will change my decisions to be politically correct and to make THEM happy better take another look at reality. In terms of the scope of men I fall for, their opinion, nay, their existance means nothing to me.
I am just another little asian girl who's madly love with her hispanic but white-as-a-nerdy-ghost boyfriend and can't stand dating Asians or Blacks. Am I racist? Perhaps but at least I'm happy.
I used to be into dating outside my race, but then I grew up.
I feel sorry for the white moms we know who have kids that look nothing like them.
Senator Palpatein the "dark side" of the force has truly gotten to you. What are you 12 years old? This is one of the most ignorant posts Ive seen on CD. What makes you think these moms are not happy? You feel sorry for them because they decided to start a family with the man they fell in love with? Please explain because even as a Stanford graduate, I am having a hard time understanding how/why you feel this way.
It's not how I feel, it's reality. I know quite a few moms in interracial relationships with kids. Their kids do NOT look like them. And these moms are unhappy people. They always have a sour look on their face. They always look like they want to escape. I interact with them - it's not opinion it's reality. Ignorance is to suggest otherwise.
One lady I know seemed really happy in her interracial relationship. Then she had a couple of kids - they look nothing like her at all. She's a blond with blue eyes and a round face. Ever since having these kids she seems to always be miserable. Always in a glum mood. The kids are mostly interested in daddy and in daddy's parents - not her. That's not opinion, that's reality.
Maybe they look unhappy for some other reason. I dont think there are any moms out there who look at their happy healthy children and become sad and with a "sour" look on their face. I see interracial kids here in Los Angeles every day (Sherman Oaks, Encino, Studio City, Burbank, Hollywood) and have never EVER seen a mom who was unhappy about their children. The most beautiful child I have ever seen had a Russian blonde mom and an American black father. The mom was sitting in Starbucks with the baby (2-3 years old) and everyone who came in had to comment on how beautiful that child was. She had light almost blonde hair and beautiful natural tan skin. The mom was just beaming with pride and thanking everyone for their kind words.
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