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By my reckoning, a forum is akin to Facebook, save that it's anonymous and unencumbered by the usual Facebook kitsch. The principal aim is not to obtain advice, but to make an announcement, to publish one's opinions at no-cost, and then to receive validation for one's brilliance and perspicacity. Unlike psychiatric therapy with a professional, forums are (1) free, (2) anonymous, (3) provide a written record, (4) scratch our egocentric itch by offering "reputation points", and (5) allow for input from multiple people, instead of merely the one therapist.
Think of the rambling speeches given by Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez and the like. They weren't seriously intended to sway public opinion, for those who were already converted needed no reiteration of the message, while the skeptics could hardly be expected to be persuaded by plodding, redundant and sometimes vitriolic diatribes. No, the purpose of those speeches was to let the speaker feel better about himself, and perhaps to impress a small coterie of sycophants. Unremittingly starting thread after thread on the same tiresome topic is akin to a Castro/Chavez televised 5-hour speech.
Speaking personally, I view this Subforum, and really all of C-D, as a prompting for me to write essays, to collect anecdotes and the like, for eventually writing a book. I write most of my posts in a Word document, and then paste into the Forum GUI. Posts accumulate into a running collection, now approaching a thousand pages.
Some of the most inflammatory and provocative threads are brilliant trigger for assembling and formalizing opinions and ideas that would otherwise not have occurred to me. I'm grateful for the provocateurs, not because I agree with them, but because the more bilious utterances motivate me to reassess my own views, and to offer a response. More muted or decorous threads are less apt to do this.
I typically use this forum to try and formulate jokes and work on wordplay, I have aspirations to do stand up comedy one day and I find a lot of stuff here to be good material and if anything help me in forming comedy bits.
Some of my musing here over the years has earned me a whole bunch of "LMAO" type of rep comments.
So I figure I'm on the path to comedy greatness....
LOL, I've also been making the funeral circuit. The last couple of funerals I got up and spoke and was able to work in several good legit laughs, good natured comedy of course, while paying my respects......
Personally I'm not exaggerating about what women go through but it's not all peaches and cream for men either. Instead of comparing notes to see who has it harder, why don't we try realizing that very few people of both genders have it easy and show empathy towards each other.
Yup.. Agreed. I see bashing going both ways..
Quote:
Originally Posted by SophieLL
Theres no way the bashing goes both ways and is equal like you say
Why don't you set aside your anger (and bashing) and actually read what I said.
Here...
Quote:
Originally Posted by usayit
There's a lot of hating a stereotyping of men as well (topic touched on by the opening post of this thread) We are biased towards our own gender.... its natural to see what we want to see or sensitive to. .
However, I actually see both gender's dishing it out.
No way was I saying that the AMOUNT of bashing was equal, more or less according to gender lines. More importantly it is not important at all... just pointing out that your views that this forum should be renamed to some sort of female bashing forum because that's all that gets posted is HIGHLY incorrect and biased. There is a fair amount of male bashing going on... some of it from your post right after.
Theres no way the bashing goes both ways and is equal like you say
I read this on another thread, but someone said when the women here complain, it's about one guy, or maybe a few guys they've dated, specifically. When men here complain, it's about all women in one huge generalization.
I think the latter is more offensive, because it disregards and denies individuality, and in so doing, dehumanizes.
But what's interesting to me is that the advice given back works the same way. A man asks for insight on the woman he's dating, people focus on that woman and his interactions with that particular woman. A woman asks for insight on a man she's dating, men chime in with, "men like this" or "men are like that."
In other words, the men tend to generalize and the women tend to individualize. I think it's better to individualize. It's baffling to me that men would generalize, because in terms of brain function, women are usually wired to multitask, but men are usually wired to compartmentalize. You'd think that a brain that compartmentalizes would individualize, given its focus on one thing at a time and tendency to separate things out.
I read this on another thread, but someone said when the women here complain, it's about one guy, or maybe a few guys they've dated, specifically. When men here complain, it's about all women in one huge generalization.
I think the latter is more offensive, because it disregards and denies individuality, and in so doing, dehumanizes.
But what's interesting to me is that the advice given back works the same way. A man asks for insight on the woman he's dating, people focus on that woman and his interactions with that particular woman. A woman asks for insight on a man she's dating, men chime in with, "men like this" or "men are like that."
In other words, the men tend to generalize and the women tend to individualize. I think it's better to individualize. It's baffling to me that men would generalize, because in terms of brain function, women are usually wired to multitask, but men are usually wired to compartmentalize. You'd think that a brain that compartmentalizes would individualize, given its focus on one thing at a time and tendency to separate things out.
Hmm... you bring up some good points there. I'll have to weigh and consider those.
I would say the most readily visible flip-side to the women individualizing is that anytime I've spoken of things I've observed multiple women doing over the course of years, the most common rebuttal I've received is "Well I don't do that, and I don't believe you!"
Too much of a good thing? Or just an imbalance for both between where generalization is one form of analysis and differentiation another?
I typically use this forum to try and formulate jokes and work on wordplay, I have aspirations to do stand up comedy one day and I find a lot of stuff here to be good material and if anything help me in forming comedy bits.
Some of my musing here over the years has earned me a whole bunch of "LMAO" type of rep comments.
So I figure I'm on the path to comedy greatness....
LOL, I've also been making the funeral circuit. The last couple of funerals I got up and spoke and was able to work in several good legit laughs, good natured comedy of course, while paying my respects......
I'm similar. I use it to work on my humor.
Now doing stand up is more than jokes, I think you have to have the right energy and the timing. I'm not sure about my timing.
If someone talked about "men haters" i will NEVER felt they were talking about me. Im actually a men lover, i love men so much that some misogynist here have called me ****.
Now, if you guys that are answering to me feel you hate women and thats why you answer, then im sorry for you. If you dont actually hate woman, then buy a pair of glasses and please read the titles of the threads in this forum, and tell me there ISNT misogyny going on.
Hmm... you bring up some good points there. I'll have to weigh and consider those.
I would say the most readily visible flip-side to the women individualizing is that anytime I've spoken of things I've observed multiple women doing over the course of years, the most common rebuttal I've received is "Well I don't do that, and I don't believe you!"
Too much of a good thing? Or just an imbalance for both between where generalization is one form of analysis and differentiation another?
Probably an imbalance.
I don't doubt that people--men or women--have observed common behaviors in the people they've dated. Humans tend to be creatures of habit, most of us develop patterns in who we're attracted to or who approaches us, and change is hard. There are also regional differences, and differences between urban, suburban, and rural cultures. But it's easier to complain about an entire gender than to find our own patterns and try to break them, or pack up and move to a place where we're going to fit in better.
The only things that irritate me are when people ask for input and then get defensive or explain why every single bit of advice offered to them won't work (shooting down those who are trying to help is, quite frankly, the mark of an ungrateful, self-absorbed jerk), and when people try to put words in other people's mouths.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602
You seem tired.
Someone give her a Snickers.
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