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As a wife, I would not feel comfortable with another woman knowing this much information regarding my husband.
This is just too much personal information for another woman or man to know about someone's spouse.
God dang you're thick
It's because we fell for each other. We told each other things you tell a friend and confidant. That's how we ended up in this mess. Again, you are not even trying to give advice, just telling me how perfect you or your mother are and how wonderfully you'd handle this situation.
It happened, it's still affecting me, and I am trying to reconcile and move past it.
Yikes. OP, I think you've gotten good advice from a lot of people so I won't reiterate it. but it needs to be emphasised that you need to figure out what's making you reach out to guys like this. Mathlete was right, you WILL cheat again if you don't figure this out. You can say you won't all you want because this guy was different,etc. but you will.
Stop thinking about how he feels. He is the one who said you shouldn't be carrying this on and he was right. He wants to rededicate himself to his wife. Sitting around crying all day is not useful to anyone. I know because Ive done it but the difference was that I am not married so I had nothing to hide.
You did this to yourself. Now take action and find out why before you seek another man.
Yup, top priority and they were oh so important while you were playing out your little fantasies online/on the phone and ignoring them......
How can you even say you know him better than people you have known for years? You have never spent a single moment together in real life. If I remember correctly a few pages back you said something about you, him and your husband being in the same room together or something like that.
There nothing more you can say to help your cause, the more you write the more you sound like a love sick 8th grader who ha read too many of Momma's Harlequin Romance Novels.
I don't even know what you are trying to accomplish by criticizing me further. I was and largely still am lovesick, this just ended. Being stupid and falling for someone you shouldn't isn't unique in my case. And questioning how much I am devoted to my children doesn't prove anything. My feelings for another man are not directly correlated to my feelings for my children.
Yikes. OP, I think you've gotten good advice from a lot of people so I won't reiterate it. but it needs to be emphasised that you need to figure out what's making you reach out to guys like this. Mathlete was right, you WILL cheat again if you don't figure this out. You can say you won't all you want because this guy was different,etc. but you will.
Stop thinking about how he feels. He is the one who said you shouldn't be carrying this on and he was right. He wants to rededicate himself to his wife. Sitting around crying all day is not useful to anyone. I know because Ive done it but the difference was that I am not married so I had nothing to hide.
You did this to yourself. Now take action and find out why before you seek another man.
God dang you're thick
It's because we fell for each other. We told each other things you tell a friend and confidant. That's how we ended up in this mess. Again, you are not even trying to give advice, just telling me how perfect you or your mother are and how wonderfully you'd handle this situation.
It happened, it's still affecting me, and I am trying to reconcile and move past it.
OP:
If the two of fell for each other, then the two of you were more than friends, which is mentioned in your reply.
This is not the first time I have heard "we told each other things you tell a friend and confidant" when it was much more than friends for both of them or for one of them.
I'm human and acted like one. Heaven forbid mom isn't perfect. I'm pretty sure my kids know that already. Why do you keep harping on my children, who are 7 yr old twins and 2 yr old toddler, like they are yours? Are you a child of divorce? Guess what, I am, and my brother and I survived and don't hate our parents. Stop worrying about MY children, who I'd die for, have sacrificed a body and career for, and who I care for 24/7. I loved another man, didn't go so far as to divorce or leave their father. I am here, I put my marriage and my family as a priority. I think when they are old enough, they are going to be pretty damn proud of me. And if they ever experience something similar I'll be able to be here for them because now I truly understand what it feels like and how easy it can happen, even to the most devoted and content.
Wow first time I ever heard infidelity described as a virtue. And make no mistake an emotional affair is infidelity. You should be mother of the year. You should get counseling to figure out why you selfishly put your marriage at risk. Guarantee if you went with the other guy you'd figure out that 'the grass is not greener', it's just the excitement of getting your ego gratified.
I don't even know what you are trying to accomplish by criticizing me further. I was and largely still am lovesick, this just ended. Being stupid and falling for someone you shouldn't isn't unique in my case. And questioning how much I am devoted to my children doesn't prove anything. My feelings for another man are not directly correlated to my feelings for my children.
It proves with your own actions that your family really was/is not as important to you then or now
(all in your words) since you then took time and attention away from them to focus on a man you never met who is not your husband. Then you continue to take time and attention away from them wondering
"how he feels, has he gotten over me already, blah, blah".........
If the two of fell for each other, then the two of you were more than friends, which is mentioned in your reply.
This is not the first time I have heard "we told each other things you tell a friend and confidant" when it was much more than friends for both of them or for one of them.
I can't even. Are you trying to be dense or is this all an act? I started this thread BECAUSE I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM. We were, are, more than friends. That's the whole freking problem. Stop commenting if you aren't even going to respond to the things I alrady explained IN MY OP.
Wow first time I ever heard infidelity described as a virtue. And make no mistake an emotional affair is infidelity. You should be mother of the year. You should get counseling to figure out why you selfishly put your marriage at risk. Guarantee if you went with the other guy you'd figure out that 'the grass is not greener', it's just the excitement of getting your ego gratified.
Mvc:
Thank you for your reply.
I have a feeling this is how my mom felt.
My mom and I are in agreement regarding our feelings and opinions on infidelity.
My father was not.
He told my mother, his wife, and me when I was young about the many "female friends" whom he would spend time alone with while he was away on business trips.
Whether or not it was only emotional or emotional and physical... we do not know.
When I questioned him as a young girl, he kept on saying that the two of them were only friends, but I had my doubts.
My mom and I did not like his behavior, and we let him know that, but that did not stop him from spending time alone with his "female friends" when he was away on business trips.
It proves with your own actions that your family really was/is not as important to you then or now
(all in your words) since you then took time and attention away from them to focus on a man you never met who is not your husband. Then you continue to take time and attention away from them wondering
"how he feels, has he gotten over me already, blah, blah".........
Understand now?
I understand how you could think that, but I don't compartmentalize like that. We obviously think differently. Thinking about something or someone else doesn't mean you aren't also thinking about your responsibilities at home. I didn't get on a plane and go see him and abandon my family. I didn't stop taking care of my children. I never stopped loving, touching, talking to, or supporting my husband. I have someone come unexpectedly to my life who was added to the people I care about, but it did not take away any of those already here.
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