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I'm married, he's married. We never had sex, we kept away from each other physically but we crossed the line emotionally.
I've blocked him on social media and deleted any pics and messages, but I'm literally torn apart inside. I'm still in love with him. This just happened and I didn't want it to, so that's probably why it is so hard for me.
I was angry and mean to him when he said he needed to back off, so I could give him a reason to write me off easier and move on, if he even cares that is. For all I know he never really loved me like he said, but I want to believe he did. I don't want to be the reason he has problems in his marriage.
I seriously can't breathe, I'm bawling my eyes out and I don't know that this feeling will ever go away. I can't tell anyone, I'm all alone in this.
I'm married, he's married. We never had sex, we kept away from each other physically but we crossed the line emotionally.
I've blocked him on social media and deleted any pics and messages, but I'm literally torn apart inside. I'm still in love with him. This just happened and I didn't want it to, so that's probably why it is so hard for me.
I was angry and mean to him when he said he needed to back off, so I could give him a reason to write me off easier and move on, if he even cares that is. For all I know he never really loved me like he said, but I want to believe he did. I don't want to be the reason he has problems in his marriage.
I seriously can't breathe, I'm bawling my eyes out and I don't know that this feeling will ever go away. I can't tell anyone, I'm all alone in this.
How do you get over someone who you can't hate?
You have to remove yourself from his life OP. Delete him from your life until you can accept being just a friend to him. Concentrate on your life without him. You were fine before you met him and you can be again.
Personally, I see emotional affair to be just as bad as cheating. You are both married and hurting your other halves. He said he has never really loved you OP, what more do you need to hear? Whether you believe him is immaterial because he is married.
When you accept that he never loved you and can be with you, this is when true healing begins.
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I seriously can't breathe, I'm bawling my eyes out and I don't know that this feeling will ever go away. I can't tell anyone, I'm all alone in this.
The pain will go away OP with time-and once you accept the above.
It sounds to me like you either need to divorce your husband or take some serious steps to figure out how your marriage got so messed up.
I'm not divorcing, I love my husband. He's handsome, funny, a fabulous father, giving, determined to be sucessful. I never stopped loving my husband.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I've considered cheating only once before, quite recently actually, but I never loved that guy. I was just lonely and feeling sexually neglected.
But this is so different. I actually love this man. And I can't reconcile having love for two men at the same time. It's really tearing me up.
I'm not divorcing, I love my husband. He's handsome, funny, a fabulous father, giving, determined to be sucessful. I never stopped loving my husband.
Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I've considered cheating only once before, quite recently actually, but I never loved that guy. I was just lonely and feeling sexually neglected.
But this is so different. I actually love this man. And I can't reconcile having love for two men at the same time. It's really tearing me up.
Convince your husband that you want to be a polygamist.
Mod cut. I just about guarantee you he will be onboard
Since that isnt going to happen, stop being so selfish, stop trying to get with a married guy and get with your husband. Sounds like you were actually considering throwing your life and kids away for an infatuation. How old are you?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-05-2015 at 12:16 PM..
Reason: Vulgar.
You have to remove yourself from his life OP. Delete him from your life until you can accept being just a friend to him. Concentrate on your life without him. You were fine before you met him and you can be again.
Personally, I see emotional affair to be just as bad as cheating. You are both married and hurting your other halves. He said he has never really loved you OP, what more do you need to hear? Whether you believe him is immaterial because he is married.
When you accept that he never loved you and can be with you, this is when true healing begins.
The pain will go away OP with time-and once you accept the above.
The first thing I did was delete everything. The messages, pics, social media. I knew that was the right thing to do, but it felt so wrong.
And he never said he didn't love me. He says he does. But I can't believe him because of how miserable I feel. I wasn't totally fine without him, he brought parts of me out I didn't know I had, my sex life with my husband improved, I gained greater insight into who I really am and greater confidence as a result. He really is a fabulous guy, but my stupid genitals got in the way and I became madly attracted to him.
Convince your husband that you want to be a polygamist.
Tell him he can bang other chicks, no strings attached... I just about guarantee you he will be onboard
Since that isnt going to happen, stop being so selfish, stop trying to get with a married guy and get with your husband. Sounds like you were actually considering throwing your life and kids away for an infatuation. How old are you?
I've suggested that to hubs in the past. He is profoundly against it. He is extremely devout and sees any extramarital sex as sinful.
The decision was made for me. I lashed out at him with anger and hurtful words so he could feel justified in moving on. Now I can't see myself doing the same. I feel like I won't ever stop loving him.
I am married (14 years known each other for 20). I tried to rectify the situation without loosing my friend from my life. I was unable to and ended up distancing myself from her. We have known each other for a very long time, she my previous GF (2 year relationship), my support, and my confidant. I still do love my family and made the conscious choice.. I know I hurt her... I have to live with that... I do hope at some point in time, she can understand and forgive.
It was and continues to be painful...
The best I can say is that it does get better with time. It ended about 6 months ago. The heartbreak I experienced was very much like grief. I manage by going through cycles of allowing my self to feel the sadness/depression.. to reflect on what happened ... both the good and bad. Followed by cycles mental distraction; focus on my marriage, work, new hobbies, journaling, and reading.
I did admit to my wife what happened... it was only then did she acknowledge that we had problems. We are still together and making progress. We are both hopeful that there is still enough between us to rebuild. I had made attempts prior with my wife but my pleas weren't being taken seriously.. that's what precipitated my need to go to my friend for support.
Things.. I feel.. are getting better.. Still sad about the whole thing... feel empty. But my wife and I accepted and acknowledged that the root of the problems and working them one by one, day by day... as a couple.
I hope the best for you.
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