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Several threads that I've seen revolve around "what's in it for me?" attitudes regarding relationships and/or marriage. On the flip side, what would you do to demonstrate your love and caring without thinking of being paid back in kind, or of "me"? As a husband, I made promises to my wife that I keep. She is the most important person to me on this earth, and I consider her my partner, lover, counselor and friend.
My bride wanted to further her education, so we found the money to send her to college classes. She misses her family who are thousands of miles away...so we set up video chats. She gets crabby and irritable at times, and knows she can openly tell me her frustrations and needs.
Do you have other things that show a SO you really do love them?
For me, it's the little things. Although I work from home with no set schedule, I get up every weekday morning at 6:30 and pack my husband's lunch. He usually gets up with the dog at 6am, but I did it today so he could sleep in. Then I baked pumpkin muffins and cooked us some eggs. I have some other great cozy meals planned for today since it's rainy and cold outside. Those are just a couple of examples (not everything revolves around food, of course).
My husband is a rock star in this department. He is constantly doing things to accommodate me or assure my happiness and he is tirelessly supportive.
Basic things-verbal and physical expression. Being loyal and not even look at other women. Around the house I clean and find ways to make life easier. I don't want my partner to live in chaos so I organise things for them. For some reason I like help with the shopping and visiting her parents, any kind of daily help really. I'm not a PDA guy though I like holding hands in front of family and friends. I don't do fancy restaurants and gifts, it's not in my nature.
1. Being that safe place where he can talk about anything without fear of how I'm going to react, or that I would turn around and make it about me. I think a lot of spouses underestimate how important this is, but ideally, your spouse's knee-jerk reaction should be to confide things to you before anyone else
2. Making time alone together a very high priority. This was a hard lesson to learn, but back-burnering your relationship can quickly become a habit if you don't work at it keep it at the top of the priority list. We have a set time every night where the kids have to turn in for the night, we shut off our computers and ignore non-crucial calls; that's our time and the rest of the world just has to accept it. Obviously the unexpected can happen, like a sick kid, a call-out from the boss, or an assignment due by midnight that can't wait... but that's life.
3. Doing those million and one little things to help his life run smoother. And really, just being someone who's worth coming home to.
I completely run the household so he can concentrate on working. Everyone from day to day stuff, to making his doc appts., to over seeing refi and contractors. Make sure we have social activities. Heck, I even charge his tooth brush. I listen to him vent. I do quite a bit (as does he), but I won't fold his clothes.
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For the most part it's small things, making her favorite meal, bringing her a cup of coffee in the morning before she gets up, sending her a random text saying how much I'm looking forward to see her in the evening. The ultimate of course is purchasing Taylor Swift tickets and then accompanying her.
1. Being that safe place where he can talk about anything without fear of how I'm going to react, or that I would turn around and make it about me. I think a lot of spouses underestimate how important this is, but ideally, your spouse's knee-jerk reaction should be to confide things to you before anyone else.........
I really like this! Being the safe place for a loved one to come to
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