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How long have you known the deceased and was it just through the guy? That is the situation it sounds like. It's HIS friend and he deserves to be able to go to the funeral of his BFF without an awkward situation.
And also - "bear in mind he's a giant baby and his BFF just died" sounds super sympathetic. Maybe you're Sketchy One?
Here's just another case of not only women, but men do this as well, of spending too much time burning brain cells on people who just don't matter. Why continuously get involved with someone like this? I suspect nothing better has came along and this guy keeps coming back like a sad puppy dog. That's dating for a lot of people. A very short period of surplus with a longish period of drought.
Dating was a workout for me, and now that I'm seeing someone, it's even more of a workout, but in a good way (not talking sex). The issue isn't the friends funeral, but why is "Sketchy" getting some much access to your mental state?
How long have you known the deceased and was it just through the guy? That is the situation it sounds like. It's HIS friend and he deserves to be able to go to the funeral of his BFF without an awkward situation.
And also - "bear in mind he's a giant baby and his BFF just died" sounds super sympathetic. Maybe you're Sketchy One?
and they do so unexpectedly. This guy also had the misfortune to pass away while on overseas holiday so theres been a heap of delays and also a massive cost to medivacing him.
To answer the Genuine Questions;
1. yes I totally agree I have been sketchy too (mainly bc I never trusted him)
2. no I don't know the fambly, at all (he was living with someone who gave him a hard time)
3. yes I did know the deceased, but only through sketchy, and feel a personal debt to him as he was very kind to me when not many people are
4. I try to avoid funerals all I can because they are not nice
5. decision made, I wont go.
I can believe the situation happened, but I think it is weird to consider going to your on/off ex of 10 month's best friend's funeral when you really only have a minimal acquaintanceship with the deceased through said ex. To me, that is a little sketchy.
Even the title of this thread is awkward. "Sketchy Rides Again" - what is Sketchy riding again or is this something made up to believe that there is more things to tie you to your ex so you can randomly run into him and ride again!? I don't get it.
It would never be an issue with me that this is my ex's best friend and this is his territory. He knows the family, the friends, the other loved ones, and should be allowed to grieve his friend without it being some weird dramatic thing that his ex shows up to despite not being good friends with the guy.
Sounds like that is what you are doing, so good call.
I can believe the situation happened, but I think it is weird to consider going to your on/off ex of 10 month's best friend's funeral when you really only have a minimal acquaintanceship with the deceased through said ex. To me, that is a little sketchy.
Even the title of this thread is awkward. "Sketchy Rides Again" - what is Sketchy riding again or is this something made up to believe that there is more things to tie you to your ex so you can randomly run into him and ride again!? I don't get it.
It would never be an issue with me that this is my ex's best friend and this is his territory. He knows the family, the friends, the other loved ones, and should be allowed to grieve his friend without it being some weird dramatic thing that his ex shows up to despite not being good friends with the guy.
Sounds like that is what you are doing, so good call.
We are all kindof old, so no weird dramatic thing would happen.
All I would be is a face in a sea of faces. I've thought about arriving late and leaving early, it will be standing room only so barely anyone would notice although i'll know heaps of people there.
I had a conversation with Friend C in the weekend, who is Sketchys OTHER BFF, and he said, and I quote
"Andy loved you, he really loved you a lot"
So, its actually out of respect for the deceased guy. Pretty much. He lent me cash when I was in a bind (which I immediately repaid) so its really just for him. To say goodbye.
And isn't that what funerals are supposed to be for?
And isn't that what funerals are supposed to be for?
No. Funerals are for the living. Andy is gone. Unless you two were super close, no one is going to think twice about the fact that you're not there. Even if you were close, people grieve differently. I think you've made the right decision to sit this one out.
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