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Old 10-07-2015, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Oopsland
631 posts, read 1,072,192 times
Reputation: 595

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Sometimes this question bother me. Who should text (call) first? Say I text her today first. That means I don't text her first until she text me first next time. I don't text her first two days in a row in order not too look like I'm in need and want her more than she wants me. Sometimes this chess play is pretty annoying but I can't let it go since love is not only feeling but a good judgment too. If one partner shows his/her attention too much the other one tends to get slack and abusive since he/she feels himself/herself more important in the relationship.

So, often I would love to text her but I suppress my desire.

How many of you act the same?
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:57 AM
 
Location: In the outlet by the lightswitch
2,306 posts, read 1,703,072 times
Reputation: 4261
Text her if you want to. If you feel the need to play games of "who texts whom," and everything hinges on this, then the relationship is too fragile to last in the long run anyway and you are wasting your time. First major problem that comes along will shatter everything.

I text when I feel like it and my SO does the same as far as I can tell.

Now, if you are talking about a budding relationship things are different and you don't want to smother things before it has a chance to grow (but doesn't sound like that because you mentioned love).

Oh, and keep in mind with my advice that I am an older fart... in my 40s dating someone my own age. From what I've been told on this forum, things are different for the younger crowd.
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,927,052 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Origin of Symmetry View Post
Sometimes this question bother me. Who should text (call) first? Say I text her today first. That means I don't text her first until she text me first next time. I don't text her first two days in a row in order not too look like I'm in need and want her more than she wants me. Sometimes this chess play is pretty annoying but I can't let it go since love is not only feeling but a good judgment too. If one partner shows his/her attention too much the other one tends to get slack and abusive since he/she feels himself/herself more important in the relationship.

So, often I would love to text her but I suppress my desire.

How many of you act the same?
Not me.

Do you keep track of it on a spreadsheet??!!
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:10 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,450,158 times
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It doesn't matter when you are both legitimately in to one another who does what first.
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Oopsland
631 posts, read 1,072,192 times
Reputation: 595
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary View Post
Text her if you want to. If you feel the need to play games of "who texts whom," and everything hinges on this, then the relationship is too fragile to last in the long run anyway and you are wasting your time.
I assume you can relax a bit when you have a full-fledged relationship or are even married. When you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks it is too early to relax.
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Oopsland
631 posts, read 1,072,192 times
Reputation: 595
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
It doesn't matter when you are both legitimately in to one another who does what first.
It does since one can be pretty annoying if texts too much while another one doesn't need that frequency.
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
I would say take turns texting first. Say you text twice first, then you wait for her to text three times, than you three times, etc. I understand fully not wanting to imitate all the communication.
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:54 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,450,158 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Origin of Symmetry View Post
It does since one can be pretty annoying if texts too much while another one doesn't need that frequency.
That is a totally different issue from who calls or texts first.

It's is going to vary wildly from individual to individual. Personal preference and day to day activities need to be taken in to consideration, their is no "one" answer.

It's whatever works for your situation.
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Old 10-07-2015, 09:33 AM
 
7,235 posts, read 7,037,189 times
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For everyone in a long-term relationship: Raise your hand if you remember the pattern of who called/texted who when, with exactly how much time in between.


Thought so!
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Old 10-07-2015, 11:06 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,905,871 times
Reputation: 8595
Quote:
Originally Posted by Origin of Symmetry View Post
Sometimes this question bother me. Who should text (call) first? Say I text her today first. That means I don't text her first until she text me first next time. I don't text her first two days in a row in order not too look like I'm in need and want her more than she wants me. Sometimes this chess play is pretty annoying but I can't let it go since love is not only feeling but a good judgment too. If one partner shows his/her attention too much the other one tends to get slack and abusive since he/she feels himself/herself more important in the relationship.

So, often I would love to text her but I suppress my desire.

How many of you act the same?
Sounds like you need to pick higher quality women that don't slack and become abusive.
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