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That's the standard phrase to not sound desperate or slutty.
Online dating is a numbers game. If you are feeling up to it, message 100 women or so women at a time. A simple "Hi, how are you?" will suffice. If they have a name on their profile, you can add their name to "show" you "read" their profile. At the end of the day, if your thumbnail pic is less than stellar, they aren't answering. Why waste any more time than that?
No one gives a **** what you write or custom messages. All that matters is your picture. If she finds your picture attractive, she will look at YOUR profile before responding. If your profile checks out, you're in.
lol
I didn't respond to form messages no matter how good-looking the person was. The first detail I noticed when I used OKC was the match percentage, because that assessed compatibility, and I rarely went further unless it was in the 90s. Then I checked out the profile and photos.
It's silly to suggest only women care about attractiveness. Of course both men and women take attractiveness into the equation. Why wouldn't they? Are you under the impression men don't operate in much the same way?
Are you kidding me?
I've browsed OKC maybe once, a good while back. Women who prefer men 6' or taller??? I actually went on a blind date, oh, maybe 10-12 years ago with a woman (and this is before the dating sites); she actually rejected me because she said I was "too tall" (I'm 6'0"). I really think that too many women are looking for Stallone/Brad Pitt-types. NEWS FLASH: Most (if not all) of the screen hunks are actually below 6'. They are not tall men!
That's the standard phrase to not sound desperate or slutty.
Online dating is a numbers game. If you are feeling up to it, message 100 women or so women at a time. A simple "Hi, how are you?" will suffice. If they have a name on their profile, you can add their name to "show" you "read" their profile. At the end of the day, if your thumbnail pic is less than stellar, they aren't answering. Why waste any more time than that?
No one gives a **** what you write or custom messages. All that matters is your picture. If she finds your picture attractive, she will look at YOUR profile before responding. If your profile checks out, you're in.
Pretty much this.
I've written great custom messages on OkCupid that I thought for sure would get at least a response, but didn't get any replies back.
I've been told as men we should lie about our height on online dating. Hate to bring this up... but women DO check this out. Add 3 inches to your real height, unless you are over 6'0. Then just say you are 6'3. Wear lifts / boots on your first date. She won't care after you have sex.
I have been browsing okcupid the last few days, and it's been entertaining. More so than tinder because there are full profiles to read.
Do they talk about online dating in college psychology classes? If not, they should.
From my perspective as a 6'2" man, women can be so self-defeating it's hilarious.
These women weed out many quality men based on height, and the funny thing is, most of these women are a short 5'2" or shorter.
Girl, you 5'2. the hell you doing with your 6' height requirement?
With 4" heels, you should be good with a man who is 5'8.
I'm sure there are many 6'+ men out there who weed out shorter women.
So in this case, the short women are demanding tall guys who don't want them because of their shortness. Their paths never cross.
It's also entertaining finding easter eggs on okc.
I have found a famous hardcore pornstar.
Kim Kardashian's best friend/entourage member is also on okc, in calabasas, and I feel sorry for her because keeping up with that famous lifestyle gives her no time to find a man, and most men probably wouldn't want to be associated with that lifestyle for the long haul.
Anything you all find entertaining?
No, I found it sad that I have to be seen and contacted by all the douches and fakes to find my prince.
And I came out of it with stories to tell...but eventually got tired of the whole thing.
I kept my profile up perhaps a little longer than I needed to, because I was hoping to recruit new people to come to the very cool BDSM club where I go, they can always use new memberships. More money means more fun events and that the place can thrive and stay open, which is important to me. Figured I'd be "out" on my profile about being into the scene, and then if someone messaged me and seemed interested in that, I'd direct them to the appropriate website and calendar and see about nudging them into the community.
Unfortunately most of these guys are actually NOT interested in BDSM, or particularly the community, they wind up admitting "I'm not really down for all that, I just wanted to hook up with you." Many of them assumed that me saying I was into that sort of thing meant well, if I'm a freak, I'll get it on with anyone anytime. They are incorrect.
So, OLD is a poor recruiting tool for my kink scene, despite the very significant overlap in OKC and Fetlife profiles. *shrug* I got tired of babyfaced little boys bugging me for sex, and shut it down.
But not before I asked a few of them to compose haikus about bizarre sex acts, just for my own entertainment.
Possible reasons women might not answer your message on OLD:
1. She has 100 messages in her inbox and yours didn't stand out.
2. She doesn't know how to tell you, but she just doesn't find you attractive.
3. She saw a "dealbreaker" on your profile. (Not something you can help...for instance if you state that you're religious and it's a big part of your life, a hardcore athiest is not going to want to go there.)
4. She has met someone, or more than one someone, and is actively dating, but isn't sure if any of her dates are going to become relationships. She is no longer encouraging new people...yet isn't involved to the point of taking down her profile.
5. Life stuff happened, and she is busy.
6. You are geographically too far away for her to be interested in. (I used to get messages from guys who were hours away. Nope.)
Ultimately though, a HUGE reason why women often don't send "Thanks, but no thanks" messages, is that there are LOTS of men out there who take any message, even that kind, as encouragement. They figure since you took the time to respond even to reject them, they've got a chance to try and change your mind. Ain't nobody got time for that.
(This is usually when I start asking awkward questions about whether they have tattoos or piercings in very personal places, or for haikus, or some such. If you can't take a polite "no" then I will mess with ya, if I'm bored enough...)
Most women are only on there to get self esteem boost. As a result, very few will answer to your message. As a guy, you will have to message at least 50 women to get a couple of responses. It would be a full time job to tailor each message accordingly.
just because you didn't get messaged doesn't mean that women are not there to meet guys.
I had to message also at least to 50 guys to get 5-7 responses and then after messaging 2-3 more times half of them disappear. And then I am down to 3. 2 of those turn out to be not as cool as I thought and maybe I am lucky and meet the last one that is left and then when I walk into the bar this guy looks nothing like his pictures or suddenly reveals he has 4 kids.
No, no fun at all. Waste of time, effort, hopes, and dreams.
If OLD is a fun entertainment for you then you haven't ever had a real fun hobby. I could think of a thousand things I would rather do as OLD and wonder why a 65 year old 300lbs guy thinks we are a good match and why guys my age and with my interests don't message back.
I ignore these. One, I want to know a guy read my profile and two, I got tired of:
Him: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "I'm fine, thanks. How are you?"
Him: "Fine."
End of conversation. I respond to what I am given. If you don't give me anything to respond to, I stop responding. I'm not going to chase after someone who is only putting half ass effort into getting to know me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
I really think that too many women are looking for Stallone/Brad Pitt-types. NEWS FLASH: Most (if not all) of the screen hunks are actually below 6'. They are not tall men!
My ideal height in a man is 5'8" - 5'9". 6'0" and over is definitely too tall. My minimum preference is 5'5" - so basically taller than me.
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