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Old 10-10-2015, 08:20 PM
 
Location: TN
1,273 posts, read 989,098 times
Reputation: 1225

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Got ya. We all have our limits and you have every right to draw your line in the sand where you see fit
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Old 10-11-2015, 12:46 AM
 
7,654 posts, read 5,091,275 times
Reputation: 5036
Yes, I have heard about this on numerous occasions now and it baffles me, I mean I can see a guy or even a couple getting warmed up with porn but full on getting off to the porn is not acceptable if you have a truely willing partner. That never registered with me unless the partner was failing to perform a specific act in bed and the other partner was getting fed up with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindlessness View Post
What you said sounds very reasonable. I don't mind porn I even like watching it every now and then. But if it competes with me, (my partner not wanting sex with me), then it is a problem.
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Old 10-11-2015, 12:51 AM
 
7,654 posts, read 5,091,275 times
Reputation: 5036
Causally watching porn is not even close to the same thing as actually cheating, if a woman did this to me that would just be the end of it she could stay with her new guy she cheated with. Porn is a video file on a computer not anywhere close to having another guy in your woman. Women who think this are seriously diluted and I would be happy they are gone.

Now if its one of these sitatutions where the guy is watching porn to the point of neglect then I can see her getting her needs filled else where. But that could be caused by any number of issues working too much, playing too many video games etc etc. Basicly doing anything (even wholesome responsible things) that is to the detriment of meeting your partners sexual needs is going to cause issues.

If you are volunteering helping starving kids at a church until 11pm and are too tired for sex every night its going to likely be an issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shimmy00 View Post
I've known girls with boyfriends who watched a lot of porn and this made the girl feel inadequate so the girl ended up cheating. It's just as easy for a girl to go out and cheat as it is for a man to pull up a porn site. I don't think men consider how easy it is for women to cheat when their girlfriends are asking them to stop watching porn
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Old 10-11-2015, 12:54 AM
 
7,654 posts, read 5,091,275 times
Reputation: 5036
This is super passive aggressive, who is to say that the other person is not doing or not doing something that is causing lagitimate distress to their partner. I agree they should just break up but that does not mean that the neglectful partner is "too good" for them.

If you were being a prude and I wanted to break up with you it does not mean you are too good for me lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lostandhurt View Post
I don't care what the reasoning is or whatever rationalizing a partner is using, cheating is not okay. If they do cheat than they don't deserve me and are dead to me.

They deserve to be with some other unfaithful partner and live a life of sneaking behind each others backs pretending to be exclusive.

If the temptation is to cheat, than you need to end your relationship right than and there and let them know that your not good enough for them.
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Old 10-11-2015, 01:42 AM
 
8,781 posts, read 9,427,520 times
Reputation: 9548
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Sex addiction is an actual thing, just like bipolar disorder is an actual thing. But of course a lot of people accuse each other of being "bipolar" when they're just in a bad mood.

The important point is that not all cheaters are sex addicts. Not by a long shot.
I would happen to say most cheaters don't even start down the path "for" sex.
They are looking for something else that leads down that path, but not many start affairs just for sex and sex alone.

people who open themselves up to being emotionally vulnerable to another are the most in danger of cheating. Vulnerability is the key to intimacy, once you open that gate it's all down hill.

Most of the cheaters I have encounters personally have been theses types. Either becuase they shut themselves out from intimacy through closing off their vulnerability or their partner has done so making any further connection to them slowly die and dissipate in to almost nothing.

All the others I have know who have had infedialty issues throughout their relationships frankly never even had emotional attachments or intimacy with their SO's. Their realtionships where the means in order to get what they where looking for.

The cycle of use and abuse just continued on with others people outside of the marriage

Last edited by rego00123; 10-11-2015 at 01:56 AM..
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Old 10-11-2015, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,627,532 times
Reputation: 73585
Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary View Post
I think the root of cheating is being self centered and selfish. I say this because things like being bored, hormones, not meeting needs, breakdowns in communication, etc, etc, etc, happen to a lot of people... most of us in fact at some point in relationships. Things aren't always peachy. But even though these things happen to most people, most people don't cheat. Something holds them back. I think that something is empathy and the ability to think about the other people in your life.

To be a cheater and to cheat instead of working through the problems or letting your partner go is basically a way of having your cake and eating it too. You are only thinking about yourself. Not your partner (you would work with them or let them go if you cared about their feelings) and not the person you are cheating on them with (you are treating them as some kind of backup to suit your needs and not making them a priory because you still have your original partner). So it's selfishness that leads to cheating.

I think deep down we all know this. Ask anyone would you date someone with a history of cheating? Probably not. Why? Because you know they only think about themselves and won't consider you or your feelings at all. They might cheat on you.

You verbalized my thoughts on cheating perfectly.
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Old 10-11-2015, 03:38 PM
 
9,639 posts, read 5,997,710 times
Reputation: 8567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hand of Fate View Post
Rather than bashing men and women how about how terrible they are, they are a ***** or calling them names for cheating, lets discuss what drives men and women to cheat?
What do you think drives a person to cheat nowadays?
Any reasons, logic, and some psychology help to see why people would cheat on their partner
There are definitely a lot of factors but what would be the top reasons that cause or gives a person temptations of infidelity?
Selfishness.
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Old 10-11-2015, 06:03 PM
 
220 posts, read 174,163 times
Reputation: 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by pittsflyer View Post
This is super passive aggressive, who is to say that the other person is not doing or not doing something that is causing lagitimate distress to their partner. I agree they should just break up but that does not mean that the neglectful partner is "too good" for them.

If you were being a prude and I wanted to break up with you it does not mean you are too good for me lol.
All I'm saying is that if you feel like your partner isn't the one for you, is neglecting you, or whatever it is you don't like than leave them and than you can sleep with someone else. Not before.

Doing so is selfish and cheating is never really justified.
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Old 10-12-2015, 12:30 PM
 
75 posts, read 52,808 times
Reputation: 65
I am a person that has NEVER cheated on ANY partner I have had in life, and never understood why one had to cheat.

HOWEVER.....after my most current relationship (Boyfriend seeming uninterested and in his own world half the time, lack of sex and affection from him, and his very non-chalant attitude toward me) I am now understanding WHY people do at times.

I would still never do it. Just tell em it's not working out, then move on.
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Old 10-12-2015, 12:47 PM
 
75 posts, read 52,808 times
Reputation: 65
Susman.....

You hit the nail right on the head!!
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