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So I have plans with a female friend to go to dinner earlier this week. She calls me at the end of her work day and tells me she's had a long day and really isn't hungry and doesn't feel like going to dinner. I say no problem...I could have cared less anyway. Then she invites me over for a couple beers. We get to her house about the same time and she gets out of the car with a fast food bag and a drink.
I said "oh, no wonder you aren't hungry, you already ate" and she just looks at me sheepishly. We have a couple beers and she eventually tells me she did go out to eat while she was shopping after work because she was hungry. I said no big deal, you should have just told me the truth. She tells me "I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you the truth" and I was kind of dumbfounded.
This is one of many "ommissions" from this woman. She doesn't consider it lying about something if she just doesn't tell the whole story. It aggrevates me because there is no reason not to just tell the truth up front to begin with. This drives me crazy. I told her I would never get in a relationship with her because anyone who lies about the little stuff will definately lie about the big stuff.
In my opinion a lie is a lie whether it is an ommission of facts or an outright lie. Just curious how others feel about this?
Sounds she got hungry during shopping and decided to grab something quick. I don't think this one issue should be a concern if you got together anyway. It's the other situations that me be more of a concern.
One thing to add though-I think good manners should have dictated she brought you something, A snack, drink etc at least.
What's next? "I told you I had plans tonight. I just didn't tell you they involved sleeping with another man?"
Punt! There are better women out there. Deceit is deceit, whether it is by omission or commission.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408
That is a lot of drama over a whole lot of nothing.
Meh. They made plans for dinner earlier in the week. This is what "something small to hold you over" is all about. In her shoes, I'd have just gotten a granola bar or a piece of fruit, and left room for dinner with him.
So I have plans with a female friend to go to dinner earlier this week. She calls me at the end of her work day and tells me she's had a long day and really isn't hungry and doesn't feel like going to dinner. I say no problem...I could have cared less anyway. Then she invites me over for a couple beers. We get to her house about the same time and she gets out of the car with a fast food bag and a drink.
I said "oh, no wonder you aren't hungry, you already ate" and she just looks at me sheepishly. We have a couple beers and she eventually tells me she did go out to eat while she was shopping after work because she was hungry. I said no big deal, you should have just told me the truth. She tells me "I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you the truth" and I was kind of dumbfounded.
This is one of many "ommissions" from this woman. She doesn't consider it lying about something if she just doesn't tell the whole story. It aggrevates me because there is no reason not to just tell the truth up front to begin with. This drives me crazy. I told her I would never get in a relationship with her because anyone who lies about the little stuff will definately lie about the big stuff.
In my opinion a lie is a lie whether it is an ommission of facts or an outright lie. Just curious how others feel about this?
I don't see anything bad in this one time. She wasn't hungry, didn't feel like going out to dinner, and then while shopping she got hungry and ate. She didn't go to dinner with somebody else - she just stuffed some nasty food in her face while running errands.
However, if this is one OF MANY instances then yeah ... I am on your side ...
That is a lot of drama over a whole lot of nothing.
She didn't want to go out. Maybe, just maybe, she had plans for you which going out would have interfered with. So, she still has you come over "for a couple beers".
Don't sounds like you guys are compatible, just from the little bit I get from your post. Perhaps friends, but a relationship probably wouldn't work if you are that aggravated by her omission. Better communication skills will help also.
Meh. They made plans for dinner earlier in the week. This is what "something small to hold you over" is all about. In her shoes, I'd have just gotten a granola bar or a piece of fruit, and left room for dinner with him.
And she wasn't in the mood for dinner so she swapped the plans for drinks. It is not like she flaked on him.
And I don't know about her, but when I grab fast food for dinner that is desperate measures thing. It means I was getting hangry and feeling nauseated. I also can't drink without food.
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person
She didn't want to go out. Maybe, just maybe, she had plans for you which going out would have interfered with. So, she still has you come over "for a couple beers".
Think it through a bit.
Jeez, do I have to teach you guys everything?
So she didn't want to go out to dinner? Maybe she wasn't in the mood for dealing with crowds, or waitresses or going to the other side of town.
She still made plans with the OP. I don't see grabbing some fast food as a big deceit.
This don't sound like a one time thing, I don't think the op would be that upset or aggravated as he called it, if this was the first time. He also went to say, he told her he could never be in a relationship with her because of her lies about the little stuff. I don't think he would have taken it that far for this one time, but I'm just guessing. I hope the op comes back and give some more info.
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