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Old 10-15-2015, 09:41 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Question2015 View Post
The real issue isn't fathers "perishing" from their children lives, but rather feminist powered frivorce, where women cash in by separating children form their fathers, on many occasions permanently and unfairly. So to answer your question, I would rather be with a woman who hasnt been brainwashed by feminism and the rampant misandry.
You didn't answer the question.
I realize there are those selfish women who do as you describe, believe me I've been dealing with one for over 15 years but that is not the discussion.

Parents disappearing from their children's lives by death, divorce or abandonment is a real issue. It happens on a daily basis.
I can understand why a person would not want to date a single parent who's aspirations were to be a SAHP. I would not date a man who had expectations that I would financially support him and his children. Once a relationship was established and the financial situation was one where it was more adventitious for me to work and him to stay home and run the HH I would consider that.

But the question is what would you want for your own children in the event you or your spouse died or was otherwise gone from your child's life.
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:43 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
Reputation: 32503
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
Yes, I am sure this happens. There are also marriages where the woman works two jobs while the husband spends his time doing nothing at all. No job, no childcare, no housework, nothing. That's their business.

That's nothing new. Laziness and being a deadbeat are not gender specific.

I don't know any Peg Bundy style SAHM's or SAHD's. Yes, there are men who stay home to take care of their families. It's not very prevalent, but. It happens. I know several. It's what works for their families.
That's exactly my point.
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:48 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,261,749 times
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Not if they were raised by a good one!

If they were raised by a good mother, it is highly unlikely and unusual for them to devalue, or not know the value of, a SAHM.

(Keyword: GOOD.)
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Woodinville
3,184 posts, read 4,835,496 times
Reputation: 6283
Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice View Post
Not if they were raised by a good one!

If they were raised by a good mother, it is highly unlikely and unusual for them to devalue, or not know the value of, a SAHM. (Keyword: GOOD.)
I'd actually argue that a well-adjusted man who had a poor relationship with his mother would value SAHM's the most.

The key is that the guy has to be well-adjusted and emotionally mature enough to value what he missed out on as a child.
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:54 AM
 
6,720 posts, read 8,361,746 times
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When my husband stays home from work and sees everything I do, he always comments on how busy I am. He even says things like...you just cleaned the kitchen and it's a mess already. (Yes, cooking three meals a day tends to do that.)

he appreciates all that I do. It helps that I used to work and we ate out many meals because he doesn't cook. He had to do half of everything, and our house was always a mess. We both decided that it would be better for me to stay home for a few years at least. I appreciate how hard he works, and when he is home he gets to relax. It's nice for both of us. It works for us.

Somebody may judge me for that. Who cares...they are probably miserable. Most judge mental people usually are living in misery. I consider myself lucky for having a wonderful family and life, and so does my husband!
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:54 AM
 
Location: The Jar
20,058 posts, read 18,261,749 times
Reputation: 37120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garfunkle524 View Post
I'd actually argue that a well-adjusted man who had a poor relationship with his mother would value SAHM's the most.

The key is that the guy has to be well-adjusted and emotionally mature enough to value what he missed out on as a child.
Nope. You won't have to argue with me. I agree with that, too!

Sadly, just like with any sort of dysfunction, it takes a strong person not to repeat the dysfunction/pattern. Those folks are few and far between. Rare birds!
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Old 10-15-2015, 09:56 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC View Post
Getting fat = not doing anything.
Woman at work had a baby about 10 months ago went to part-time and was working a small business from home too. She couldn't lose her preg. weight and was gaining. She certainly wasn't doing nothing. Was just diagnosed with Hypothyroidism of which weight gain is a symptom. Just sayin.
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Old 10-15-2015, 10:03 AM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
Reputation: 32503
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
When my husband stays home from work and sees everything I do, he always comments on how busy I am. He even says things like...you just cleaned the kitchen and it's a mess already. (Yes, cooking three meals a day tends to do that.)

he appreciates all that I do. It helps that I used to work and we ate out many meals because he doesn't cook. He had to do half of everything, and our house was always a mess. We both decided that it would be better for me to stay home for a few years at least. I appreciate how hard he works, and when he is home he gets to relax. It's nice for both of us. It works for us.

Somebody may judge me for that. Who cares...they are probably miserable. Most judge mental people usually are living in misery. I consider myself lucky for having a wonderful family and life, and so does my husband!
I dont know why that would be a bad thing. I have never been able to be a SAHM and honestly didn't want to when my kids were young, but as I have gotten older I am sometimes jealous of women who can be a SAH. I think back to when my mom was a SAHM and how great it was having her there and regret that I could not be that SAHM for my children.
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Old 10-15-2015, 10:16 AM
 
6,720 posts, read 8,361,746 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
I dont know why that would be a bad thing. I have never been able to be a SAHM and honestly didn't want to when my kids were young, but as I have gotten older I am sometimes jealous of women who can be a SAH. I think back to when my mom was a SAHM and how great it was having her there and regret that I could not be that SAHM for my children.
I've done both and there are pros and cons to either way. I will tell you as a teacher that kids can do great with having a SAHP and with both parents working. You really can't tell the difference in the classroom. Everyone loves their mom, whether they work outside the home or not. You did the best thing for yourself and your family.
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Old 10-15-2015, 10:28 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,400 posts, read 6,351,299 times
Reputation: 9636
Quote:
Originally Posted by Garfunkle524 View Post
Every forum I've ever read that's dedicated to parenting is full of self-righteous jerks who shame all parents. Mother-shaming is definitely a thing and it's tragic to me that mothers are so judgmental of other parents.

Father-shaming is also a thing and the entire sector of pregnancy, birth, babies, and parenting are extremely anti-father. Moms aren't the only ones getting attacked. Stay at home fathers often have stories about being discriminated against and disrespected by other stay at home parents as well.

When it comes to stay at home parenting, listening to what anyone has to say about anything (other than your spouse) is a lose-lose situation. Fellow parents love to shame mothers out of being a SAHM, and then turn around and shame other mothers for going back to work. If your family has a stay at home dad, the mother-shamers are quick to call him a deadbeat.

Seriously people, you've got to tune out all the nonsense that goes on about stay at home parenting and focus on what's best for you and your family. I, for one, think having the choice to have a stay at home parent is extremely important and increasingly scarce.
I agree with everything you stated, but I'm curious about the part in bold. In what way are you speaking?
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