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I don't know - I guess as someone who has lost one parent to cancer and seen another parent go through a survivable cancer, I can't imagine going through a break up during the worst of it. I mean, either way - the situation sucks. And I know you feel like she deserves it because she's an awful person - but you are going to pull the rug out from under her at a time when she already feels like the rug has been pulled out from under her. I'm not saying that you should marry her or anything - but maybe wait until this round of chemo is over and her mom is more on the mend?
Sadly, a cancer diagnosis means there probably will never be a good time to leave, because her mother may never totally/fully recover. And if she dies, you then have to wait until the grieving process is over (five long years?)???
When you do break it off, do it as gently and as kind as possible.
The reasons I had for leaving her were a lot but let me just summarize by saying she used me for my money while ignoring me in every possible way and being way too friendly with my friends (and completely rejecting any physical contact with me for months because she "doesn't feel like it"). Just to clarify - she didn't openly cheat on me but I did have my suspicions. What I am saying is that she totally had it coming for a long time now.
Literally the same week in which I was making plans of breaking up with her (thus ending a 4 year old relationship) her mom got into a hospital and things got bad real fast - it was cancer. That was 2 months ago and ever since she has been going through chemotherapy and is in a very bad condition. It is treatable and she could end up being ok but currently she is understandably very sick. My girlfriend has been spending the time by her bed for both days and nights. Her mother has always been nice to me and I'v grown to know and like her over the last couple of years.
Nothing has changed in the way I feel about my girlfriend - she was very bad for me and treated me absurdly but the fact that she is going through so much trouble these past months is making it very hard for me to end things. She is depressed as it is and I don't want to burden her even more.
Another thing to mention is that both she and her mother do not have any income and her dad has passed away years ago. I was the one supporting them and if I do end things they will have even tougher times ahead.
Should I continue with my original plans and end things with a girl that has been treating me like **** for years while I was dumb enough to buy and do everything for her or continue delaying that because she is very depressed over her mother's problems and both of them rely on my income (including for hospital stuff like meds and operations)?
Her Mother's illness has nothing to do with you and her depression cannot be fixed by you either.
Make a decision and stand by it or continue to allow the way they treat you.
They are two separate issues. Treat hem that way.
You don't have to be a cold stone to the other over a death, you can show your empathy towards them, but your realtionship issues are separate and unrealted.
Make this point clear and move on how you had alway planned
Are you living with them? If not you can just gradually move away instead of a total break up. Sounds like she's busy enough with her mother that you can just ease away. If you are living with them? Thats a tough situation. Are you paying their rent?
I knew a girl who had cancer and her boyfriend left her after she was in remission. She would have rather had him leave earlier, because he didn't want to be with her that whole time and they were both miserable.
Break ups happen. There will never be the perfect time or place to do it. If you don't want to be with someone, then you should leave.
Just break up with her. Hospital bills are very expensive. She obviously doesn't care for you. Stop trying to play the hero and get smart.
^^^this^^^
Only thing to add... you have nothing to prove to anyone therefore even if your gf and her friends and family believe you are leaving at the wrong time, etc, "so what?" - do your Will and be able to live with your own decisions regardless of other people's perceptions.
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