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Old 10-11-2015, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Northern Wisconsin
10,379 posts, read 10,915,269 times
Reputation: 18713

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I think you are causing some of your own problems. For being 37 and kind of desperate, you're pretty picky based on mere appearances. Dating is not the process of checking them all out, until you find someone perfect. You might indeed find someone "perfect" but not interested in you. I'd suggest, just as I suggest to men, that you meet people and get to know them a little before you flat out reject them for picky little reasons. You sound somewhat like Jerry Sienfeld, who did the same thing, (She ate the peas on at a time. She wears the same dress all the time, etc.) Try to look beyond the superficial. And it would help to be nice and try to give some of these guys a chance. Meet them in someplace neutral, like a coffee shop. ETc.

For example. The guy that wanted your phone number, and preferred not to just email. Maybe he likes that, just so he can more quickly get an idea of what the person is like. I don't blame him. I'd be the same way. Anyhow, Good Luck. But your problem is not a skinny body, with little boobs. Most guys are not that superficial.
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Old 10-11-2015, 06:50 PM
 
833 posts, read 657,580 times
Reputation: 1341
OP seek therapy to gain self confidence and then you will meet the person you wish to. No short cuts are required and warranted. Good luck
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:01 PM
 
562 posts, read 464,321 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuyInSD View Post
[snip]
But beyond that - DON'T get breast implants. Yes, you may end up attracting more men, but think hard on the types of men you will be attracting - do you really want someone like that for the long-term? Will he stick by you 10, 15, or 20 years from now?

I have known a number of smaller statured women (probably similar to yourself) over the years - and have to say that for them, having a friendly, outgoing personality bumped up their attractiveness several notches. I know you consider yourself socially awkward/introverted - so work on that - there must be meet-up groups or other clubs around you which are focused on a hobby or interest you have - try going to some of their activities and just get to know (i.e. interact) with people there. Being based on a common hobby/interest - you'll already have something to talk about.


Good luck
I agree, I need to work on my social awkwardness and practice just being more open and friendly. In truth, I am very friendly and warm, but most would never know this, due to my introverted behavior. It takes a while, but once I get to know someone I am the nicest person.

Mod cut: orphaned.

Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-11-2015 at 07:25 PM..
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:05 PM
 
562 posts, read 464,321 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie View Post
I think you are causing some of your own problems. For being 37 and kind of desperate, you're pretty picky based on mere appearances. Dating is not the process of checking them all out, until you find someone perfect. You might indeed find someone "perfect" but not interested in you. I'd suggest, just as I suggest to men, that you meet people and get to know them a little before you flat out reject them for picky little reasons. You sound somewhat like Jerry Sienfeld, who did the same thing, (She ate the peas on at a time. She wears the same dress all the time, etc.) Try to look beyond the superficial. And it would help to be nice and try to give some of these guys a chance. Meet them in someplace neutral, like a coffee shop. ETc.

For example. The guy that wanted your phone number, and preferred not to just email. Maybe he likes that, just so he can more quickly get an idea of what the person is like. I don't blame him. I'd be the same way. Anyhow, Good Luck. But your problem is not a skinny body, with little boobs. Most guys are not that superficial.
This is all very true, but part of my problem is, I live in a fantasy (w/ respect to relationships), because I haven't been in a serious one.

What are your views on sexual experience? Would you think something was wrong with a woman, if she never had sex and was 37 years old?
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:07 PM
 
388 posts, read 382,974 times
Reputation: 289
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara_319 View Post
I know it doesn't make sense, but mainstream society makes women believe if you don't have a certain body type, you are undesirable.
So you won't meet someone until your boobs are big? Or will you meet someone before and then enlarge your boobs? What if they don't like fake boobies?
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:12 PM
 
562 posts, read 464,321 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boris347 View Post
You can "Imagine" that, but I am trying to "Imagine" why you would want this done, so you could find a "Boyfriend" if you already had one to provide emotional support. What's wrong with that picture?

Doesn't sound real to me, Sorry. Too many things that don't make sense.
I meant, if I had someone who loved me, he would support me through the breast augmentation post op process.

I've heard that the surgery is the easy part, but recuperating is difficult. I am thinking that if I had a supportive boyfriend, he could offer emotional support and take care of me (during the 2-3 weeks) while I healed from the surgery.
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:13 PM
 
Location: SacTown
1,259 posts, read 1,250,329 times
Reputation: 1965
It's not your looks it's your self esteem.
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:17 PM
 
562 posts, read 464,321 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UnaWilde View Post
So you won't meet someone until your boobs are big? Or will you meet someone before and then enlarge your boobs? What if they don't like fake boobies?
I doubt that I would get the surgery at this stage, because I don't have adequate emotional support. I mentioned before that my family wouldn't help out. If anything, they would mock me for electing to have plastic surgery. I know that if I met the right supportive guy, it would be easier to get the surgery. I am not stating that I would bring this up immediately, but at some point, I would share how I feel and hope that he would support me.

I wouldn't be asking him to pay for the surgery (I have my own career and funds to pay for the procedure). I would only be looking for him to provide emotional support and help me during the post op phase.
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:33 PM
 
388 posts, read 382,974 times
Reputation: 289
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cara_319 View Post
I doubt that I would get the surgery at this stage, because I don't have adequate emotional support. I mentioned before that my family wouldn't help out. If anything, they would mock me for electing to have plastic surgery. I know that if I met the right supportive guy, it would be easier to get the surgery. I am not stating that I would bring this up immediately, but at some point, I would share how I feel and hope that he would support me.

I wouldn't be asking him to pay for the surgery (I have my own career and funds to pay for the procedure). I would only be looking for him to provide emotional support and help me during the post op phase.
Well OP, I think I understand the situation a little better.

The right supportive guy will care for you and give you everything. Now can you motivate yourself to work on the social anxiety? How will he know such a great woman exist if you continue hiding away?
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Old 10-11-2015, 07:38 PM
 
562 posts, read 464,321 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnaWilde View Post
Well OP, I think I understand the situation a little better.

The right supportive guy will care for you and give you everything. Now can you motivate yourself to work on the social anxiety? How will he know such a great woman exist if you continue hiding away?
This is true, thanks for the encouragement.

I want to attract someone who is confident, not someone who has emotional issues. The best way to attract a confident person, is by being confident. This is why I must deal with my social anxiety related problems.

I just needed to vent a little, because it's difficult being 37 and alone. I'm tired of coming home from work, cooking dinner, feeding my cat, blogging and watching Netflix.
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