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I've found members on this forum to be really helpful so I am going to go ahead and post something kind of personal. It is an embarrassing topic.
I am a male in my mid-20's and have this friend whom I've known for over 10 years. I consider him to be like a brother because he is like a brother to me. We go to car shows, hang out and do stuff all the time. He'd give the shirt off his back if I needed.
Context:
This weekend, he dropped me off home and waited in his car until I entered my house. My parents were in their car, behind his car and saw it and said that is strange he'd wait in his car until you get in. (He did wait kind of long)
They then accused him/me of being gay and that is NOT the case because we've never done anything together and I am not gay, and I don't think he is gay. They said a normal friend does not need to wait for you to get into your house before he leaves, drives you wherever you want, pays for your meals, etc. I said that's normal in American culture. Note that I am from Hong Kong.
Reflection:
After this incident, I reflected on some of his actions. Sometimes, he eats off my plate, tickles me, tries to hold my hand or keeps bumping into me when walking. I HAVE found it strange when he keeps lifting up his shirt to show his abs (or belly, imo) or gets mad/checks my phone when I text or call others. Other than that, I never picked up on anything else unusual. I do not do those things to him.
I asked my American friends about this and they said it sounded normal and my Chinese friends said that's too touchy feely. I did not share with them who I was asking about.
I've been visiting a tarot card reader and asked a couple questions about non-related things but I reserved one question about my friend. I asked her if he was gay. She flipped the tarot cards over, and said yes. I was surprised. I don't always believe what she says.
Tarot card reading:
I mentioned to him I visited a psychic and asked a question about him and he freaks out a little. He pressed me about what I asked but I told him it was my own business. He called back today wanted to eat out and talk but I declined because I was in bed. He mentioned some funny items like that he is religious, doesn't want kids and is a virgin. That part was unusual. I know he has not had much success in relationships.
I have other things on my mind right now (as you may see in my other threads) so I'm ignoring his calls/texts about my reading because it was private and I only asked one question of him.
What I'm not sure about:
I am thinking he either thinks I am gay or he thinks I think he is gay. If he were gay, I would not care. Right now, he just seems a little nerdy and shy, but so am I. My American friends have vastly differing opinions than my Chinese friends.
My friend is White American (never been out of Minnesota) so I tend to think my American friends have a more accurate description of the situation than my Chinese friends since we behave different.
My question is...is he trying to be more than friends? Thanks
They said a normal friend does not need to wait for you to get into your house before he leaves, drives you wherever you want, pays for your meals, etc. I said that's normal in American culture. Note that I am from Hong Kong.
This is not normal American culture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by minnesota nice
My question is...is he trying to be more than friends? Thanks
A man tickling another man, jealous of his texts, driving you around, paying for your meals, always touching your body. Dude he gay, and has hots for YOUUUUU!
A man tickling another man, jealous of his texts, driving you around, paying for your meals, always touching your body. Dude he gay, and has hots for YOUUUUU!
He wants you bud... hardcore... maybe you could just flat out ask him?
If someone was trying to do this to me, I would put a stop to it immediately and confront the situation.
I will say that waiting in the car for you to get in is just common courtesy. What if you dropped you off and you had forgotten your key or something and were stranded outside?? That's not a gay thing.
After this incident, I reflected on some of his actions. Sometimes, he eats off my plate, tickles me, tries to hold my hand or keeps bumping into me when walking. I HAVE found it strange when he keeps lifting up his shirt to show his abs (or belly, imo) or gets mad/checks my phone when I text or call others.
I asked my American friends about this and they said it sounded normal and my Chinese friends said that's too touchy feely. I did not share with them who I was asking about.
Uh, not sure what "American friends" you are hanging out with, but you might want to ask the Tarot reader about their sexual alignment next time.
NONE of my friends would find this behavior normal.
Actually, I take that back. One friend would - but he came out of the closet years ago.
Is this a real question by a real poster? Sometimes I've wondered if mods don't take on secondary personae in order to fan the flames when things get quiet. This could be one of those times.
Because there's "is my friend trying to be more than a friend," and there's "this is so gay it has party hats and whistles, a magician clown and pony rides".
But you can't tell the difference?
Either you're so good-looking *I* would buy you supper and walk you to your door...
...or your friend is totally into you and there is no way on God's green earth you could miss it...
...or this isn't real.
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