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I should clarify. There is a level above sexy, and that's called trashy. Get a 5-7/10 woman to wear a trashy Halloween costume and they can transcend sexy. Enter another dimension.
A woman exemplifying what we generally call "intelligence", in and of itself, can be a turn-on and arouse my attraction (definitely so) but, if it isn't coupled with other qualities like good overall character (sweetness, sensitivity, empathy, et al . . . or enough so of such qualities), an ability to hang loose and be fun, and having an ingrained sense of humor (or, if not being a developed humorist in her own right, then at least being able to appreciate humor and wit from others such as from myself), then simply being highly intelligent, articulate, well-versed, et al while lacking those other qualities doesn't win me over and make her "attractive" or "sexy" to me (except perhaps in a purely physical animal sense but not someone I would want more than a one-time physicall encounter with).
I've known or been acquainted with women who were obviously rather intelligent or even highly intelligent yet were prone to being condescending/demeaning or snarky or effete or stuck up or rather humorless (unable to laugh much) or rather socially cliquish/snobby or insensitive to too prone to being a prude and so on. Or they appeared to manifest intelligence at first glance but I could tell that they were not really intellectuial types in the true and broad sense of the term but just that they had a collection of professional credentials, titles, and prominent academic degrees attached to their name. But they would get rather bored or disinterested if you try to delve into a broader range of subjects or ideas outside their narrow scope of interest.
In the end, I ideally want a woman with at least a modicum of genuine intelligence or brightness (and/or an appreciation for someone else like myself who has those qualities) yet who is also very sweet, kind, appreciative of what I am and demonstrative with her affections and receptive to my affections toward her, nurturing and supportive, and the like. If she doesn't have these other qualities but just merely "intelligence" or even "high intelligence", I would just as soon go for a woman with lesser outward "on-your-sleeve" intellectuality but more well-developed nurturing and personal qualities. Perhaps greater overall "intelligence" in her can be developed over time but it is rather harder for a person who rather lacks in good character qualities to develop said qualities. To me, I tend to think that lacking such good personal qualities after a certain age and stage in life is likely indicative of a more deeply ingrained character flaw. And then as well, I also try to keep in mind that two people are or may each be "intelligent" but in different ways: for instance, I may have much acedemic and intellectual smarts over her but she may have better interpersonal skills or more well-developed social graces (e.g., dancing, being more of a social butterfly than myself, a better seamstress and clothing mender than I, better with listening skills, better at being short and succinct in speech and writing compared to me being at times prone to verbosity, and so on). So, our different types of intelligences might complement one another. That is, I can prospectively learn from her as much as she can learn from me but in different ways.
Yes, I can't have a relationship without it. Why? Because it makes them interesting to be around and it makes them witty. I can talk to them and they will intuitively get the point I am making, I can learn things, I can learn new ways to look at things, new ways to do things....I can trust them to make good decisions, they have the ability to self reflect with an openness of self, someone to bounce ideas off of.... the list is endless.
I think Urban Sasquatch mentioned that a girl said she wanted to lick his brain. Can't tell me that isn't sexy. Foreplay starts with my brain.
Totally agree with you. It is just a lot more fun to me.
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Originally Posted by Chowhound
I'd venture to say that most people I know that are super smart are dull as butter knives... just as a disclaimer I've always worked with engineer types and as much as I hate to say it, that stereotype about engineers exists for a reason...
I'm one of the exceptions myself.... as I've got wit, charm and charisma... at least as much as my engineering type lizard brain can allow for....
Smart without humor is like having a race car with a flat tire.....
Smart and funny here. Not an engineer ....I work in marketing. Lots of interesting people in marketing.
No. I dont find anti-intelligence sexy either, its just that to me, sexy = "I am sexually turned on by you" and intelligence in a woman isnt going to get me an erection. She better have a nice body, hair, face.
So let me guess here DaBeez.... She needs to be able to squat at least 250 lbs and deadlift 175....?????????
Intelligence is definitely sexy. There are times when all you do is talk, and if there's nothing to talk about, or if the topics are 5-grade level and superficial the process is almost painful. On the other hand, when you talk to someone who manages to expand your perspective, that creates another level of intrigue and interest.
As long as the intelligence doesn't go hand in hand with arrogance. I know this one guy, his intellectual IQ is way up there, works for Google, has a Master's, but he never lets anyone talk, and he thinks only his answers are right. Sometimes you listen to his monologues and think - how do i get him to stop talking without offending him....? So emotional intelligence/people skills are a must, as well.
Yes it is, it's the outside that initially grabs me but intelligence will keep me around. If you can't carry on a conversation on different topics and have an opinion, it gets boring pretty quickly. With that said, as with most things too much is not a good thing. I dated a few women that had advanced degrees, and it was apparent that they thought they were somehow above me with only a measly B.S. degree. They tended to dominate the conversation, and anything I contributed was immediately dismissed. Needless to say, there was never another date with them.
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