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Like others have said, intelligence alone isn't sexy to me. It has to be accompanied by humor and silliness in order for me to really appreciate it! My husband and I are smart in different ways - and I really like that.
Intelligence is definitely sexy. There are times when all you do is talk, and if there's nothing to talk about, or if the topics are 5-grade level and superficial the process is almost painful. On the other hand, when you talk to someone who manages to expand your perspective, that creates another level of intrigue and interest.
As long as the intelligence doesn't go hand in hand with arrogance. I know this one guy, his intellectual IQ is way up there, works for Google, has a Master's, but he never lets anyone talk, and he thinks only his answers are right. Sometimes you listen to his monologues and think - how do i get him to stop talking without offending him....? So emotional intelligence/people skills are a must, as well.
Like this? (a FB status post a couple weeks back)
Quote:
You know you're having a serious discussion with your significant other, Tobin, when you stay up past midnight to discuss which superhero or action star/character you'd want to have in your group during a zombie apocalypse, and on top of that the plan of action should such occur.
Top choices:
Hulk (bullets can't break his skin, so that means bites can't, right?)
Magneto
Hawkeye
Wolverine (would he turn with his healing factors?)
Blade
Iron Man
Alice
Phoenix
Non-supers:
Batman
Brienne of Tarth ... "Valyrian steel, b*tch!"
Katniss
Green Arrow
Snake Eyes (G.I. Joe)
John Wick
Machete
Jon Snow
River Tam
Henry made a valid entry: Jedi. He wins.
Henry is my son. He'll be 6 soon.
But we also stay up some nights talking about theories surrounding technological singularity (a favorite because we're sci-fi/tech geeks), current events, politics, philosophy, cultural customs, comic books, dystopian fiction, fantasy. A lot of discussions start after watching a movie, TV show, documentary, or after reading an article or book.
Fun and engaging: "If you could travel in time, would you want to visit the past or future, and for how long?"
We have this "thing" where he teases me for liking "pretty" vampires a la Blade and Interview with the Vampire v. truly scary, monster-like vampires in 30 Days of Night and The Strain (TV show). I want to at least look "normal" if I'm going to be a blood-sucking immortal.
We also talk about silly geek things like how brilliant it would be for Joss Whedon to head a Netflix Star Wars show with the cast of Firefly/Serenity.
Conversations don't always have to be high-brow, but it's important than when they are we "get" each other and it's engaging.
I love talking about pop culture's influence on society and how it reflects our current values. And this definitely name and talking about superheroes, reality shows and Empire.
As long as the intelligence doesn't go hand in hand with arrogance. I know this one guy, his intellectual IQ is way up there, works for Google, has a Master's, but he never lets anyone talk, and he thinks only his answers are right. Sometimes you listen to his monologues and think - how do i get him to stop talking without offending him....? So emotional intelligence/people skills are a must, as well.
Been there. I either:
A. Pretend to have an absence seizure
B. Furrow my brows, stare at something in the distance, wait for them to look... when they do I just say "Oh sorry, I was practicing my Kegels."
Intelligence is great, but I've met a few women who were vastly more educated than I, and enjoyed talking with them, learning from them -- until I tried to turn topics to things silly, fun, imaginative but not stylish, lofty.
People have different interests, I get that. But when yours are all great while mine suck, it's not the interests themselves which suck, it's our sense of mutuality.
Long ago I was sitting with a young Russian woman on a campus, and she asked me "What great literature have you read?" I began to list some sci-fi, some fantasy, a few books I'd read growing up, and she broke in: "No, NO! I mean what GREAT literature have you read?"
I asked what she meant by great literature, and what made it great. She actually began to tick off on her fingers things like form and tempo, pertinence to the time in which it was written, whether it contained meter or rhyme or word-play.
My next words were from the heart: "I thought what made any literature great was what it meant to you as a reader, whether it changed or influenced you, and whether you took anything away from it when you put it down."
She looked perplexed and then said "I never thought of it that way."
All the intellect in the world falls with a dry thump if not combined with imagination, sweetness, wit, gentility, open-hearted compassion and honesty.
But when a woman starts displaying intellect my breath quickens; and if she displays good characteristics along with that intellect, I get harder than a left turn during rush hour. Looks fall secondary.
Intelligence is great, but I've met a few women who were vastly more educated than I, and enjoyed talking with them, learning from them -- until I tried to turn topics to things silly, fun, imaginative but not stylish, lofty.
People have different interests, I get that. But when yours are all great while mine suck, it's not the interests themselves which suck, it's our sense of mutuality.
Long ago I was sitting with a young Russian woman on a campus, and she asked me "What great literature have you read?" I began to list some sci-fi, some fantasy, a few books I'd read growing up, and she broke in: "No, NO! I mean what GREAT literature have you read?"
I asked what she meant by great literature, and what made it great. She actually began to tick off on her fingers things like form and tempo, pertinence to the time in which it was written, whether it contained meter or rhyme or word-play.
My next words were from the heart: "I thought what made any literature great was what it meant to you as a reader, whether it changed or influenced you, and whether you took anything away from it when you put it down."
She looked perplexed and then said "I never thought of it that way."
All the intellect in the world falls with a dry thump if not combined with imagination, sweetness, wit, gentility, open-hearted compassion and honesty.
But when a woman starts displaying intellect my breath quickens; and if she displays good characteristics along with that intellect, I get harder than a left turn during rush hour. Looks fall secondary.
If she throws in linguistics, I'm a goner.
My thoughts exactly. My G/F is one of the most intelligent people I know, she got a full-ride scholarship to a very prestigious university in this area, and went on to get Masters as well. Yet, she is very down to earth and has never displayed a smug or superior attitude. These are the type of women that really grab me.
Why? Elaborate beyond it makes for more interesting conversation or intelligence = more likely to be successful.
I'm attracted to intelligent people because I feel safe around them. If anything were to happen, they would be smart enough to know what to do.
1) They tend to want to better themselves; want to master new things. I like this, it resonates with me and what I do.
2) They use common sense and tend not to fly off the handle as much about small things realizing that ultimately any problem can and should be solved or dealt with analytically.
3) They tend to know themselves and to be more aware then others.
4) With intelligence I have noticed people tend to be more ethical - not always, but a noticeable trend in my life.
But we also stay up some nights talking about theories surrounding technological singularity (a favorite because we're sci-fi/tech geeks), current events, politics, philosophy, cultural customs, comic books, dystopian fiction, fantasy. A lot of discussions start after watching a movie, TV show, documentary, or after reading an article or book.
Fun and engaging: "If you could travel in time, would you want to visit the past or future, and for how long?"
We have this "thing" where he teases me for liking "pretty" vampires a la Blade and Interview with the Vampire v. truly scary, monster-like vampires in 30 Days of Night and The Strain (TV show). I want to at least look "normal" if I'm going to be a blood-sucking immortal.
We also talk about silly geek things like how brilliant it would be for Joss Whedon to head a Netflix Star Wars show with the cast of Firefly/Serenity.
Conversations don't always have to be high-brow, but it's important than when they are we "get" each other and it's engaging.
I can put together the perfect dinner party with your family, DH, son and one other couple with 4 boys.
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Why ? Elaborate beyond it makes for more interesting conversation or intelligence = more likely to be successful.
I'm attracted to intelligent people because I feel safe around them. If anything were to happen, they would be smart enough to know what to do.
YES. It is a deal breaker if a guy can't keep up with me intellectually. I need someone who is intellectually THIRSTY. Also for me sex is in the brain. It involves creativity and thinking out of the box.
Edit: I like intelligence with a touch of humility. NO one wants a know it all. I like intelligence with class and kindness.
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(a FB status post a couple weeks back)
