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There is nothing inherently wrong or risky for a woman to marry a bisexual man. Fidelity is fidelity.
This post is about infidelity and an unresolved relationship, that's why she needs to leave.
Exactly. I agree with this 100%
If monogamy is important to her then she needs to tell him and say there are no exceptions. Unless she can make exceptions. That's a whole other conversation
There is nothing inherently wrong or risky for a woman to marry a bisexual man. Fidelity is fidelity.
This post is about infidelity and an unresolved relationship, that's why she needs to leave.
The only reason I find it a little "more" in this case, is because the fiance does not seem to "know" himself.
He has unresolved issues that he may always wonder about, as opposed to a guy who knows he's bi-, has experienced that, and subsequently chosen someone to marry, of either gender.
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I recently found very graphic messages from my fiance to a man he used to share a house with. When I confronted him about it he told me the whole story - at the age of 32 he was unsure of his sexuality and decided to move in with this man he had met online to see if they could make a go of it. It didn't work out and in the meantime he met me (25 y/of female) ...
...who snoops on her fiance's technology.
He should have dumped you, not explained to you.
Then again, he should have deleted the messages from wherever he sent them, so apparently he's not that bright.
However, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers would like to see you get married, as you'll be good for business in a few years.
Then again, he should have deleted the messages from wherever he sent them, so apparently he's not that bright.
However, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers would like to see you get married, as you'll be good for business in a few years.
Snooping is legit in many, many cases. Like this one. Wouldn't you agree?
People have always looked into the background of those they want to marry or enter into partnerships with, to see if there is anything weird there. It's not new. It's only technology that is different.
My ex husband pulled this on me. The "I don't want to be in a relationship where we snoop on each other" after I found the emails where he was declaring his love to another woman. The type of mind pretzeling he had to do to try and make ME the guilty party was hysterical. Sorry, I'm not falling into that trap. Sadly, many do.
Snooping is legit in many, many cases. Like this one. Wouldn't you agree?
People have always looked into the background of those they want to marry or enter into partnerships with, to see if there is anything weird there. It's not new. It's only technology that is different.
My ex husband pulled this on me. The "I don't want to be in a relationship where we snoop on each other" after I found the emails where he was declaring his love to another woman. The type of mind pretzeling he had to do to try and make ME the guilty party was hysterical. Sorry, I'm not falling into that trap. Sadly, many do.
I don't think the ends justify the means, no. If she had suspicions of him or didn't trust him somehow, she should have spoken about her concerns to him. Unless I missed it, I don't see where she did.
Then again, that begs the question of why remain with someone you have suspicions about or no longer trust? They're only engaged. In that situation, I would just break things off. If I mistrust someone enough to even get the idea to snoop, the relationship is already done. Once trust is gone, that's it for me.
I didn't snoop because I mistrusted him, which is the most ironic part. I was looking out of sheer curiosity. I was using his I pad and they were just there. I looked at a couple of messages he sent to his best friend because they made me laugh, I looked to see what he'd be talking about with his grandma. This is not the issue.
I do not have a problem with his sexuality, as a lot of posters here have said, it is the lack of trust I now have and may never regain. I have a problem with the fact that he has kept something so massive from me, something so integral to who he is and I had no clue whatsoever. I have gone from loving someone with every inch of myself to finding they have only loved with with half of themselves and the other half, I have no idea who that is.
He has explained it in the way that there are two completely different sides to him and that he keeps them so separate that he sent those messages to this man and didn't feel it was even connected to the relationship we have. He said he has in fact had relations with men and therefore can make the decision that he wants me and our live because he was never satisfied with that side of him. Clearly he has major issues. Not because of his feelings for men of course but because of this compartmentalisarion he has been doing.
I feel like I should run for the hills like so many of you have suggested but this is the most bizarre thing to get my head round that I'm not sure I can trust myself to make a good decision. The man I love is still in there, the relationship we had is still real - you can't fake that. This side of him I can't even imagine, so it's difficult to leave for the things that part of him has done.
I didn't snoop because I mistrusted him, which is the most ironic part. I was looking out of sheer curiosity. I was using his I pad and they were just there. I looked at a couple of messages he sent to his best friend because they made me laugh, I looked to see what he'd be talking about with his grandma. This is not the issue.
I do not have a problem with his sexuality, as a lot of posters here have said, it is the lack of trust I now have and may never regain. I have a problem with the fact that he has kept something so massive from me, something so integral to who he is and I had no clue whatsoever. I have gone from loving someone with every inch of myself to finding they have only loved with with half of themselves and the other half, I have no idea who that is.
He has explained it in the way that there are two completely different sides to him and that he keeps them so separate that he sent those messages to this man and didn't feel it was even connected to the relationship we have. He said he has in fact had relations with men and therefore can make the decision that he wants me and our live because he was never satisfied with that side of him. Clearly he has major issues. Not because of his feelings for men of course but because of this compartmentalisarion he has been doing.
I feel like I should run for the hills like so many of you have suggested but this is the most bizarre thing to get my head round that I'm not sure I can trust myself to make a good decision. The man I love is still in there, the relationship we had is still real - you can't fake that. This side of him I can't even imagine, so it's difficult to leave for the things that part of him has done.
I actually feel like I'm going crazy.
No matter what words you use to pretty it up YOU SNOOPED, what is on his messages is none of your business. So you snooped, you found something you did not like and now it's his fault you don't trust him......typical
No matter what words you use to pretty it up YOU SNOOPED, what is on his messages is none of your business. So you snooped, you found something you did not like and now it's his fault you don't trust him......typical
That's actually a hilarious response. Thank you so much for making me laugh at the worst time in my life. So who he is truly is as a person is nothing to do with me? Because that's what these messages reveal. I would quite happily let him read everything I send to everyone because I have nothing to hide. Because I have shared everything with him. That's what you're supposed to do with someone you've decided to share your life with. Otherwise what's the point?
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