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Trying to decide if it's too much for 14 year old. Think we will have him give it a read.
Just an opinion and worth the paper on which it's written... which is nothing more than an electronic idea gone as soon as you move a mouse, so worth nothing.
My son is 8 and has a difficult time with some kids at school, gets along with others (normal, right?) and has to deal with situations and unfortunately with some bullies.
While the harsh tones of the piece may seem a tad much or possibly discouraging, the stuff cited is gold, and it really matters. I've worked on conveying some of these ideas to my boy as gently as possible, but it seems a slap in the face is required (poor li'l chip off the old block ) to hammer any of it home.
The way I've tried to convey it to him is to let him know that the big, potentially mean world out there WILL at worst chew you up and spit you at, at LEAST kick you to the side of the road and keep on moving, leaving you aching and going nowhere, a casualty of LIFE --
...unless you act, do, behave, become enough to build yourself a reliable buffer which can become your little world as you see fit. Within those confines you CAN make your own rules; and just like all "rights", the veracity of your rules/rights exist only up to the point where they interact with the rules/rights of others. Beyond that, it's either mutual cooperation OR a shoving match, biggest, strongest pusher wins -- period.
In order to achieve that world, you must DO in order to build, BE THINGS in order to be seen, appreciated, recognized.
I've said this to my son and I want him to understand it: Almost NOBODY in the entire world cares whether you live or die. Almost nobody. People will appreciate you for what you can do for them; and in some cases it will ingratiate them, make them feel either indebted OR as though having you around is good for them. People don't like to feel indebted, which leaves you the other option.
But when you're wondering what others think of you, you're in for a rude awakening when you find out how little they actually do -- at all.
BE kind, BE good, STICK to your principles, but STAND up for yourself, because the ignorant, stupid and mostly selfish world WILL be okay with walking over your dead body. TRUE love isn't a matter of convenience; but WORLDLY love, no matter how deeply professed, is very much so, and NOBODY is about to admit they're just in it for the money, the fun or the moment and not the long haul.
Just an opinion and worth the paper on which it's written... which is nothing more than an electronic idea gone as soon as you move a mouse, so worth nothing.
My son is 8 and has a difficult time with some kids at school, gets along with others (normal, right?) and has to deal with situations and unfortunately with some bullies.
While the harsh tones of the piece may seem a tad much or possibly discouraging, the stuff cited is gold, and it really matters. I've worked on conveying some of these ideas to my boy as gently as possible, but it seems a slap in the face is required (poor li'l chip off the old block ) to hammer any of it home.
The way I've tried to convey it to him is to let him know that the big, potentially mean world out there WILL at worst chew you up and spit you at, at LEAST kick you to the side of the road and keep on moving, leaving you aching and going nowhere, a casualty of LIFE --
...unless you act, do, behave, become enough to build yourself a reliable buffer which can become your little world as you see fit. Within those confines you CAN make your own rules; and just like all "rights", the veracity of your rules/rights exist only up to the point where they interact with the rules/rights of others. Beyond that, it's either mutual cooperation OR a shoving match, biggest, strongest pusher wins -- period.
In order to achieve that world, you must DO in order to build, BE THINGS in order to be seen, appreciated, recognized.
I've said this to my son and I want him to understand it: Almost NOBODY in the entire world cares whether you live or die. Almost nobody. People will appreciate you for what you can do for them; and in some cases it will ingratiate them, make them feel either indebted OR as though having you around is good for them. People don't like to feel indebted, which leaves you the other option.
But when you're wondering what others think of you, you're in for a rude awakening when you find out how little they actually do -- at all.
BE kind, BE good, STICK to your principles, but STAND up for yourself, because the ignorant, stupid and mostly selfish world WILL be okay with walking over your dead body. TRUE love isn't a matter of convenience; but WORLDLY love, no matter how deeply professed, is very much so, and NOBODY is about to admit they're just in it for the money, the fun or the moment and not the long haul.
I actually felt that the article had an undertone to play against the "Helicopter Parent" movement that is going on in my generation right now. So, I'd say roughly the mid 20s to early 40s generation. The helicopter parent movement is bad with two parents in the household, but it's even worse when it's just a single parent. I couldn't tell you how many single mom's I've met that will not let their child fail at anything, and that their child is the best thing ever, since sliced bread. Some of these children are truly just brats too.
I'm not saying that parents can't be proud of their children, but there's a lot of children and teens out there that didn't learn how to fight back and defend themselves against bullying. Social media can be easily fixed, by taking your children off that platform. The remaining bullying comes in person, which we all dealt with a various times while growing up. You either stand up for yourself to set the tone, or you succumb to the verbal and physical ridicule. Life is tough and the people who can stand up for themselves have a tendency to last the longest.
I actually felt that the article had an undertone to play against the "Helicopter Parent" movement that is going on in my generation right now. So, I'd say roughly the mid 20s to early 40s generation. The helicopter parent movement is bad with two parents in the household, but it's even worse when it's just a single parent. I couldn't tell you how many single mom's I've met that will not let their child fail at anything, and that their child is the best thing ever, since sliced bread. Some of these children are truly just brats too.
I'm not saying that parents can't be proud of their children, but there's a lot of children and teens out there that didn't learn how to fight back and defend themselves against bullying. Social media can be easily fixed, by taking your children off that platform. The remaining bullying comes in person, which we all dealt with a various times while growing up. You either stand up for yourself to set the tone, or you succumb to the verbal and physical ridicule. Life is tough and the people who can stand up for themselves have a tendency to last the longest.
I'm not certain I understand how our posts go together. You make good points, I'm just not sure whether you quoted me as part of your own statement, to counter me, or just to point out that you're discussing with me.
I'm not certain I understand how our posts go together. You make good points, I'm just not sure whether you quoted me as part of your own statement, to counter me, or just to point out that you're discussing with me.
Discussing with you, since you're considering parts of this article to share with your 8 year old.
I actually felt that the article had an undertone to play against the "Helicopter Parent" movement that is going on in my generation right now. So, I'd say roughly the mid 20s to early 40s generation. The helicopter parent movement is bad with two parents in the household, but it's even worse when it's just a single parent. I couldn't tell you how many single mom's I've met that will not let their child fail at anything, and that their child is the best thing ever, since sliced bread. Some of these children are truly just brats too.
I'm not saying that parents can't be proud of their children, but there's a lot of children and teens out there that didn't learn how to fight back and defend themselves against bullying. Social media can be easily fixed, by taking your children off that platform. The remaining bullying comes in person, which we all dealt with a various times while growing up. You either stand up for yourself to set the tone, or you succumb to the verbal and physical ridicule. Life is tough and the people who can stand up for themselves have a tendency to last the longest.
Bullying is a different can of worms. It's not one of life's natural obstacles, it's another person who has made the choice to be abrasive and rude, another person who like the one they're picking on has a choice in how they behave. What if these kids you are talking about were the bullies? Should they not change their behavior?
Discussing with you, since you're considering parts of this article to share with your 8 year old.
PSHEW -- thanks! I was like "Is he disagreeing with me? 'Cos I agree with what he's saying!"
Helicopter parenting is a fine line. You need to be there, really present; but yes, kids have to fall and skin knees in order to toughen up. It's how we learn the true nature of consequence. Without it, everything is theoretical.
Didn't bother to read the whole thing but I skim through it and this is what caught my attention:
"Alec Baldwin gives in the cinematic masterpiece Glengarry Glenn Ross. Baldwin’s character — whom you assume is the villain — addresses a room full of dudes and gives them a serious going over, telling them that they’re all about to be fired unless they “close“ the sales they’ve been assigned:
Nice guy? I don’t give a s**t. Good father? F**k you! Go home and play with your kids. If you want to work here, close."
This is the way I see life. Whatever you want in life, you gotta sell. You gotta close the damn deal. Always be closing whether its in relationship, education, your dream job, promotion, more pay, whatever...You gotta close the damn deal.
Its funny how people think they aren't salespeople and that they hate salespeople. I got news for you....Everyone is a salesperson whether they know it or not. You are always selling. Someone is always selling to you. The best salesman gets it all: the girl, the friends, the job, the money, and the happiness.
Bullying is a different can of worms. It's not one of life's natural obstacles, it's another person who has made the choice to be abrasive and rude, another person who like the one they're picking on has a choice in how they behave. What if these kids you are talking about were the bullies? Should they not change their behavior?
Bullying IS one of life's natural obstacles. People have developed a pecking order since the dawn of existence. The displays vary, the scenery changes but the story remains the same.
Bullying IS one of life's natural obstacles. People have developed a pecking order since the dawn of existence. The displays vary, the scenery changes but the story remains the same.
I doubt it, people are responsible for their behavior. If this is natural why aren't we all bullies? What has stopped you from being a bully? Would you be proud if your son went around bullying other kids because he's at the top of some pecking order? If this was really the case, if this were really natural and not a choice then we would all be bullies or try to.
I doubt it, people are responsible for their behavior. If this is natural aren't we all bullies. What has stopped you from being a bully? Would you be proud if your son went around bullying other kids?
I agree.
Bullying is NOT normal.
Anything that causes pain of any kind is NOT normal. Pain is response the body uses to protect itself...the same can be applied to mental health as well. It's a shame that some people accept is such.
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) to hammer any of it home.
