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The OP is right. Most women realize that they have to get used to liking guys who aren't their physical type, since their physical type is in short supply. By age 30 the average guy is 5'9.5", balding somewhat, a little pudgy, making $40k/yr.
Sorry I see it as the other way around totally. I think on a daily basis I see more men around the age of 40 in good shape than women. It's very hard to find a woman that hasn't let herself go because the woman around that age that are in decent physical shape have tons of men after them. The number of women that have completely stopped caring about how they look by age 40 is astounding. Men that let themselves go get a beer belly but in general men hold weight better than a woman does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll
I think generally women are held more closely to a standard of appearance than are men. I also think society has deemed more acceptable being a fat man than a fat woman. How many "no fat guys" bumper stickers have you ever seen? Fat girls are the punch line to far more jokes and ridicule and all out excoriation by society than fat guys.
Further it's my experience and observation that guys like me who prefer big girls are frowned upon more so than women who prefer big guys. This suggests the bigger girls are valued less by society than the big guys. But those are my anecdotal observations, not necessarily hard data.
Many men are definitely guilty of being shallow when it comes to looks, !however!, you have to recognize that many women are extremely shallow when it comes to money, job title, and social status, in addition to being shallow when it comes to looks. Everyone likes someone that's good looking to them, men just a tad more but for men it's partially biological. We need physical attraction to be able to perform well many guys do anyway.
Last edited by wanderlust76; 10-31-2015 at 08:39 AM..
My recent ex told me that if he'd had a son, he'd have a problem with the child crying because men aren't supposed to do that. What a tool.
Of course now that the tides are turning and we see movement for people to shake gender roles and just be who they are and feel how they want, we are seeing a backlash.
I guess it's good he's an "ex" then isn't it?
My son cries over things. He's a kid. Kids cry when they don't know how to handle things. Some things I think are beneath him crying over and I'll tell him to stop. Like if he's tagged out in a ballgame. He needs to learn to lose gracefully and be a good sport and I don't let him cry over that. Or if they can't do something and cry instead of asking for help. I keep saying, "Big boys ask for help." This isn't the same thing as "boys don't cry." I don't believe that for a minute. I think a proper balance between being in control of one's emotions and not being a robot or overly stoic is important.
With all that said, I think a lack of balance toward being overly emotional is not a good thing for a man or a woman. Men like this tend to be whiney and overly needy. I've met a few like this over the years and ugh...It's very unbecoming. It's not a matter of telling them to "man up." Just be an adult and stop being such a whiney B.
My son cries over things. He's a kid. Kids cry when they don't know how to handle things. Some things I think are beneath him crying over and I'll tell him to stop. Like if he's tagged out in a ballgame. He needs to learn to lose gracefully and be a good sport and I don't let him cry over that. Or if they can't do something and cry instead of asking for help. I keep saying, "Big boys ask for help." This isn't the same thing as "boys don't cry." I don't believe that for a minute. I think a proper balance between being in control of one's emotions and not being a robot or overly stoic is important.
With all that said, I think a lack of balance toward being overly emotional is not a good thing for a man or a woman. Men like this tend to be whiney and overly needy. I've met a few like this over the years and ugh...It's very unbecoming. It's not a matter of telling them to "man up." Just be an adult and stop being such a whiney B.
Funny enough, I've noticed that whininess from men who aren't taught to process their emotions properly, my ex being a prime example.
My son cries over things. He's a kid. Kids cry when they don't know how to handle things. Some things I think are beneath him crying over and I'll tell him to stop. Like if he's tagged out in a ballgame. He needs to learn to lose gracefully and be a good sport and I don't let him cry over that. Or if they can't do something and cry instead of asking for help. I keep saying, "Big boys ask for help." This isn't the same thing as "boys don't cry." I don't believe that for a minute. I think a proper balance between being in control of one's emotions and not being a robot or overly stoic is important.
With all that said, I think a lack of balance toward being overly emotional is not a good thing for a man or a woman. Men like this tend to be whiney and overly needy. I've met a few like this over the years and ugh...It's very unbecoming. It's not a matter of telling them to "man up." Just be an adult and stop being such a whiney B.
I'm overly emotional. It actually makes my husband angry when I cry, and I cry a lot.
The few times I've seen or made my husband cry I just felt guilty.
I'm overly emotional. It actually makes my husband angry when I cry, and I cry a lot.
The few times I've seen or made my husband cry I just felt guilty.
I don't get why he would get angry but I guess I view things certain way. I've known some women that are completely unemotional cold fish and I don't prefer that type of woman at all. I would rather have someone that's a little overly emotional given the choice.
I'm overly emotional. It actually makes my husband angry when I cry, and I cry a lot.
The few times I've seen or made my husband cry I just felt guilty.
If it's just part of your fabric, I am not sure why he'd get upset over it. I've had GFs in the past who used crying as a mind game. Sort of a way to soften me or appeal to my emotions or whatever. Manipulate me in other words. Maybe your husband suspects this is what you're doing. Though as long as you've been married he should know better. You'd think he'd just understand that's the wife he has by now, right?
If it's just part of your fabric, I am not sure why he'd get upset over it. I've had GFs in the past who used crying as a mind game. Sort of a way to soften me or appeal to my emotions or whatever. Manipulate me in other words. Maybe your husband suspects this is what you're doing. Though as long as you've been married he should know better. You'd think he'd just understand that's the wife he has by now, right?
I've heard of this before, and I don't get it. I guess I'm not a very good actress; I can't just cry on cue unless I'm actually sad.
The flip side, of course, is the man who pretends to be "sensitive" to get a girl into bed.
To be honest I think the reverse is the truer picture. Perfect women are projected everywhere you turn as the ideal and as men are visual they have that in their heads.
If it's just part of your fabric, I am not sure why he'd get upset over it. I've had GFs in the past who used crying as a mind game. Sort of a way to soften me or appeal to my emotions or whatever. Manipulate me in other words. Maybe your husband suspects this is what you're doing. Though as long as you've been married he should know better. You'd think he'd just understand that's the wife he has by now, right?
He tells me he gets angry because he knows he can't make me feel better or fix whatever problem is causing me to cry. His default setting is either hyper focused on a goal or fixing a problem; or angry that things are not going his way, i.e. job, kids, me are not living up to expectations.
I cry when I am sad, angry, depressed, disappointed, when I feel I've hurt someone or someone doesn't like something I've said or done, scared, etc.
He tells me he gets angry because he knows he can't make me feel better or fix whatever problem is causing me to cry. His default setting is either hyper focused on a goal or fixing a problem; or angry that things are not going his way, i.e. job, kids, me are not living up to expectations.
I cry when I am sad, angry, depressed, disappointed, when I feel I've hurt someone or someone doesn't like something I've said or done, scared, etc.
Anger is not a normal emotion to have in such a situation.
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